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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of hearing parents moaning about the summer holidays, minding their kids, not enjoying their kids

141 replies

professorsnape · 25/08/2011 13:14

I've had to up to here with listening to parents moaning about minding their kids, wishing for them to be back to school and out of the house.

Sisters-in-law throwing her eyes up to heaven and sounding jaded when he DD needs a drink/help in toilet/help with a game.

Or friends who just want to keep children quiet by plonking them in front of DVDs, filling them with junk, etc in the hope they'll go off to bed at nighttime.

Look, we've all have off days, believe you me (have DD age 4, 1 year old twin DS) but do we not owe it to our children to have a better attitude, a more positive one? To pretend we have anyway!

FFS, I wish they would roll up their sleeves, switch off the telly, get out in the fresh air, and just enjoy their kids!!!

When they're teenagers and hate our guts we'll regret it!

Rant over

OP posts:
WorzselMummage · 25/08/2011 15:58

Lol, she's not my only child :)

NormanTebbit · 25/08/2011 15:58

Ok

I have a downstairs neighbour who (he says) works night shift, I have three DC 7,4,2, they are very noisy, he complains so we had to leave the house before 9am. We live in a two bed flat, I do not have a car.

I am not Mary Poppins under those circumstances.

Working friends have to juggle annual leave, costly holiday care, exhausted grandparents, to care for their children.

They are entitled to moan.

NormanTebbit · 25/08/2011 15:58

Try three school age. One child is a doddle.

DogsBestFriend · 25/08/2011 16:03

For the record, we don't have a huge amount of disposable income, don't have a huge amount of support... "

Jolly for you. Some of us don't have any.

Remember too that you can take under 5s to the park and to jump in puddles, collecting leaves and sticking them in scrapbooks.

Come back and report when you've tried doing that with a teenager.

SiamoFottuti · 25/08/2011 16:03

You didn't mean to sound judgemental or to undermine difficulties? Bullshit you didn't. Hmm

"Try and find some joy in it", FFS, put it on a bumper sticker you smug, self-righteous cheerleader.

cwtch4967 · 25/08/2011 16:13

YABU I love my kids to bits and am a SAHM but I'm counting down the days until they start back in school. DS has ASD and learning difficulties which makes it hard to get out and about. I would love to just be able to go for a walk down the woods on my own with my DC but it's just not possible as DS needs my full attention, for us a there is no such thing as simple trip out!
My respite comes when they are in school, I get a chance to do the housework, cook, shop etc during the holidays it is really hard. This morning DS put his hands into a dirty nappy and there was shit everywhere.
I've had enough - roll on the first day of term!

ThePosieParker · 25/08/2011 16:18

Well we've had some boring days but mainly lovely days. Long walks, shorting out stuff, games, park, hardly any TV....because I think that makes them feel more bored than anything else. Plenty of bribes.....and paying them 2-10p for little jobs. DS2, 8, cleaned bathrooms today, 50p per room and an extra if I didn't need to do it again!! "I'm bored" gets timestables or a job in this house!!

ThePosieParker · 25/08/2011 16:19

Oh and I have three school age and one toddler..... trick is to get out iof the house EVERYDAY. We start our days with exercise.

ouryve · 25/08/2011 16:26

YABU.

We get out of the house every day. DS2 spent half of our walk, this morning, slapping me. DS1 had a meltdown when I made him change out of wet, muddy clothes before sitting down for lunch.

I'm not normally one to pull the ohmygodparentingkidswithSNissohaaaard card, but this afternoon, I actually cried.

hazeyjane · 25/08/2011 16:31

If you didn't want to be judgemental, then you wouldn't be wondering why some people moan about their kids in the school holidays.

Everybody has different circumstances, and most people have good days and bad days, as I said I have really enjoyed most of the holidays, but franklly some days (like today) have just been exhausting, and yes we do try and get out most days, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way - doesn't everyone have days like these!?

Surely anyone goes a little crazy spending nearly 14 hours a day every day with their lo's, don't they?!?!

MoominsAreScary · 25/08/2011 16:36

The older they are the harder it is, older children don't tend to be happy painting/ walking the dog/ going to the park and unless you have a car and a huge disposable income which I dont school hold are bloody tedious! Also there is 8 years between each of them so they don't even like the same things

Mumleigh · 25/08/2011 16:38

My kids have just had a two week fun packed holiday, we have had planned activities every day since we got home. Today I decided they would have to entertain themselves a bit so that I can do some seriously overdue housework. They are not happy and they are driving me nuts! Not feeling at all bad for moaning about them or guilty about sticking DVDs on either. Off for more fun at local theme park tomorrow though.

CarrieOakey · 25/08/2011 16:42

Well I'm one of those mums looking forward to the DCs going back to school. It's been 5 long weeks, just me and DC as DH couldn't get anytime off. We've done lots of activities but they're bored now and so am I. We are struggling to fill our time with something different although next we head off on holiday to Cornwall to finish the holidays - that will be a great week.

I love being with my DCs, I love doing stuff with them, but I miss the routine after a while and I think they do too.

magicmelons · 25/08/2011 16:42

Just because you moan, doesn't mean you don't enjoy your children. I moan at least once a day about being pregnant but love it, i moan about dh but love him, i moan that it's to hot but i love the nice weather, some people are just moaners [brin]

I think your statement about finding the joy or whatever is incredibly patronising a bit like telling somebody with morning sickness they should be grateful they're pregnant of course they bloody are but that doesn't mean its easy and they should enjoy every second of it. FWIW my dd is as desperate to get back to school as i am to have her back there, she loves it and misses her friends of course when she is there i miss her and am counting down the days to HT.

halcyondays · 25/08/2011 16:46

Well mine haven't had any fresh air at all today, the tv is on and they have played with their toys so shoot me. Grin Plenty of other days they have gone out, they were at Butlins for a week in July, where they had wall to wall entertainment, swimming,funfair, playground soft play, crafts etc and a theme park nearby. Since coming home they've had quite a few trips to the playground, library, Granddad's house, feeding the ducks, plus trips to the zoo, farm and aquarium. I've had very little energy for the last couple of weeks with a lingering cold and cough but they have still been taken out sometimes. I was thinking of going out for a walk but quite frankly I can't be arsed and they have just pootled about. They spent a while getting their toys dressed for a Tea party until a riot broke out because dd2 wanted to sit on a cushion which Big Bear wanted to sit on, according to dd1.

I find that if we're going to go out it's better to get ready and head out first thing, otherwise it all goes pear shaped.

PacificDogwood · 25/08/2011 16:48

YANBU being sick about hearing others moan.

But - if you can't vent here, then where??

The way I feel about my 4 DC (I love them, but find it very difficult to keep all of them entertained and get stressed/bored with them) as very little to do with the fact they were off for the summer. I would love to enjoy them more and more often Sad.

And, if you don't want to listen to us moaners (and I am a strong believer in Therapeutic Moaning: you moan, then get on with it), then don't look at the relevent threads - simple, really.

magicmelons · 25/08/2011 16:52

Brin?? Blush sorry about that.

halcyondays · 25/08/2011 16:56

Yes, a good moan can be very therapeutic and God knows the kids do enough moaning, shrieking and whining during the summer holidays so I don't see why they should have a monopoly on it. Grin

MrsGravy · 25/08/2011 16:56

Ha! So you work term time? Of course you're enjoying the summer holidays then! It must be hard work getting 3 kids out of the house to Creche etc before you get to work. Summer holidays must feel like a break to you. It's just not the same if you're a SAHM. Every single thread like this has been started by a mum who works.

Also, as Pacific points out, moaning can be very therapeutic. I moaned to a few of my friends before the summer holidays that I was 'dreading' them. I told the children I couldn't wait and planned lots of fun stuff to do with them. I enjoy my kids but I also find them hard work - that's totally normal.

paddyclamp · 25/08/2011 16:57

I love the school holidays...prob cos i'm a teacher..mind you we went away for a few weeks, might have driven me mad if i'd been at home for the whole 6

Especially love the lie ins, no uniforms to wash and iron, no packed lunches to make.. :)

RedHotPokers · 25/08/2011 16:58

I have surprised myself by actually enjoying the summer holidays this year. The last 2 summer hols (one with DD nearly 4yo and DS 1.5yo, and one with DD nearly 3 and DS 4-6m) were pretty much hell on earth, but this year has been good fun.

However, I am actually looking forward to DD going back to school because I am now incredibly skint from excessive daytrips/activities, my house looks like a VERY big bomb has dropped on it, and I am exhausted .

ThePosieParker · 25/08/2011 16:59

Obviously the OP does not mean people with NT children....

Fatshionista · 25/08/2011 17:00

YANBU.

I love my kids but they stress me out. They are both pre-school (3 year old DD starting afternoon nursery in September) and we walk the dog, go to the park, go swimming etc but there's only so much I can do before I plonk them in front of a Pixar DVD with an etch-a-sketch and sit down.

NestaFiesta · 25/08/2011 17:13

OP- this is one of the judgiest threads I have ever read. I am highly irritated.

Just because parents get tired, roll their eyes and are knackered at 15 hour days of childcare, 7 days a week for 7-8 weeks does NOT mean:

a) they don't love their kids as much as you do
b) they are rubbish parents
c) they are wishing their kids lives away
d) they are lazy because they use the medium of TV.

We all love our kids, but we are still allowed to find them annoying from time to time. Think of your SIL whom you so readily judge for rolling her eyes at another request for help from her DD. Perhaps it is the 176th request for help she has had that day. As for using DVDs- this is the UK. We occasionally have torrential rain and have to invent "Movie Day".

I adore my 5yo and 1yo more than life itself, but I am knackered at the 15th argument about toast/jam/trousers/ before 8am. Doesn't mean I don't love him, doesn't mean I don't cherish these younger years, doesn't mean I don't want to be with him. Just means I am normal.

Can I just say once and for all "Finding parenthood tough doesn't mean you are a shit parent" it probably means you're doing it right!

ThePosieParker · 25/08/2011 17:22

Finding parenthood tough and moaning about 'can't wait till the school holidays end' are not the same thing,.