I'm on the fence with this one so would value some opinions

[MrsBradleyCooper]

DH has employed our nephew (his sister's ds, who is 15 in 3 weeks) for 2 weeks to do some labouring outside.

It has consisted of drilling holes in a brick wall, then using a hammer and chisel to remove the bricks, and get the mortar off them. So no actual heavy work like digging/lifting etc.

Anyway, DH wanted him to start at 9, have a half hour tea break about 10.30, an hour lunch break, and another half hour tea break in the afternoon and he was to finish at 5.

Day 1, his alarm didn't go off so he didn't start until 10.30, but came in at 11 for a 45 minute tea break. Went back out for 45 minutes, then came in for his lunch for an hour. An hour after he'd gone back in, he came to ask if I had any paracetamol as he had a sore back. He took it and then sat at the kitchen on his ipod for half an hour. Then to be fair, he did go out and do quite a bit in the afternoon.

Other days his alarm went off, but he sits eating his breakfast until 9.30, and then goes out. Similar story to the first day, keeps coming in and having really long breaks. Today he had a 1hr 45m lunch break.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, he's not started at 9 once, has had a sore back, a sore wrist, a sore arm, hammered himself in the hand, a piece of decking fell over onto him and he said that he was nearly killed , doesn't have enough energy to work, and the best one today - he couldn't get going because the weather is so dull outside and it's put him off .

Anyway, before anyone jumps on me, I know he's only 14, and is not used to "working", but he is being paid, and he was asked if he would like to do it to earn some cash. He wasn't in any way coerced into doing it by either his parents or DH.

I suppose what I'm wondering is, do you think all these complaints are genuine, or do you think he is being a bit lazy?

When I was 14, I remember going through the phone book and hand writing letters to every restaurant and shop in the local area offering my services. I was gutted when I got no replies, and absolutely ecstatic when I found a job at 15, because I finally had some money of my own, even though it was only £12 a week!

nosexpleaseimpregnant - your mother took "keep" money off you at the age of 14?????

That is awful.

Seriously!! The woman had/has no maternal instinct whatsoever, quite why she had so many children I'll never know!!
Her 'reasoning' was that I ate her food, slept under her roof, used her electric/gas/water and she was taking what she was entitled to. To be fair I only lived with her for about 8 months before getting carted off to another care home (I was in and out of care from the age of 10) by social services. No wonder I haven't seen her in years, and have no desire to.

Anyway that's by the by, you're doing an amazing job, keep it up
And balls to the legal crap, hands up those of you who have paid a 15 year old £10 to babysit for the night which would earn them about £2 an hour?

Wrote long long post how how much i worked as a teen and was glad to do it, to have MY money, to be able to buy my Ma/Da's birthday/ Christmas presents with money I had earned, but tis all gone

I do honestly think that if you expect teens to be lazy and feckless they will be.
If you give them boundries/rules etc the majority will live up to and above it

I think it will be a valuable life experience for him, providing u handle it well. I'd have a chat with him and point out the positives and negatives of the work he has done, his time keeping and attitude etc. Keep if polite and make sure u include some positives about what he has achieved.

Then ask him if he went for a job trial, would he think he deserved to get the job based on his time keeping etc? He is only young but will need to buck his ideas up if he wants to get (and keep) a job in a couple of years.

We have quite a few people on work experience each year at work. Their standards vary but I do always ensure I compliment them on what they have achieved and offer constructive feedback re any issues. I have spoken to a few teenagers on placement re time keeping. Brief chat if they have been late and discussion re why. Eg to give them the opportunity to mention if they have transport issues getting in etc? If late again I have spoken to them again and stressed why timekeeping is important and asked what they thought an employer would do if their timekeeping was poor. Most of them have pulled their socks up and turned up on time. Hopefully when they do get a job they will have gained some insite into expectations.

How would his Mum react if u had a chat to her and then did above? And also discussed u would be paying him for work done / actual hours worked.