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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

IABU but help me regarding HV and 9 month check?

36 replies

Fatshionista · 22/08/2011 18:20

I love my health visitor. Love love love her. Would marry her if DH didn't dislike her enough not to embrace her into our family. I do not like our nursery nurse. More than that, I think she's evil.

Anyway, bit of background. Lovely HV has been concerned about DD2's weight (almost 9 months old and 28lb with rolls and rolls on her) and has requested we visit our GP, keep a food diary and she'll check her at her 9 month check up (tomorrow).

NN has visited twice between HV visits with ideas that DD2 has illnesses, stating that I cannot be feeding her the food I claim I am and she must be on pizza and coke "and the such" and I'm not letting her exercise. I've explained and showed her our stock of food, our homemade jars, our follow on formula and how we make it etc but no, must be feeding her pizza and coke.

So DD1 has her 3 year review and DD2 has her 9 month review tomorrow at the same time at home with them both here. I am so stressed and worried that I'll be berated and judged again despite our food diaries and blood tests coming back normal from the GP that I just want to cancel it all. I won't, of course I won't but the mere sight of evil judgey NN makes me want to go all MN on her and do something extreme like ban her from my house while calling her a cunt with judgeypants.

:(. How do I stop being so bloody unreasonable?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 22/08/2011 18:22

Why does she single out 'pizza' and 'coke'? Confused

YANBU she sounds insane

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 22/08/2011 18:24

Why not cancel? You do not have to allow these people into your home you know.

How mobile is your 9mo? IME babies can get really chubby at that stage if they aren't doing much in the way of crawling etc yet - but as soon as they do get mobile then it all melts away.

If everything from the GP is normal, then don't worry. If you are still concerned in a few months then go back to the GP, but steer clear of the NN.

reallytired · 22/08/2011 18:24

I'm surprised that you are getting two people round your house. Are you sure you are going to get both the nursery nurse and hv.

eurochick · 22/08/2011 18:25

Maybe with HV there as well NN will be less of a twat? If not, I'd kick her out of the house because she is not giving you any useful advice and is just upsetting you. You are getting support from the HV so why do you need her butting in with her silly ideas?

RitaMorgan · 22/08/2011 18:26

Complain about the NN and ask that she isn't present for the visit. You are under no obligation to see these people, especially an NN with no medical qualifications.

Takitezee · 22/08/2011 18:28

There's no point in having the check if it's going to upset you that much. Some babies are just built that way. Two of my nieces were huge babies and did eat a lot (not bad food just a lot) but have have developed into slim, healthy adults.

Original poster
Fatshionista · 22/08/2011 18:29

Yeah, the health visitor called to confirm they are both coming. Is that not standard? I had two when DD1 had her reviews at 9 months and 2 years.

She's really nutty. She once suggested I fed her cake because I happened to have leftover birthday cake of DD2's on the side. At that point she was barely on mashed foods!

She is mobile and always on the floor moving around. She army crawls mainly but can crawl and is constantly rolling/army crawling/tummy wiggling to get to where she wants to be.

OP posts:
TheSkiingGardener · 22/08/2011 18:29

She is being rude and insulting, as well as very unprofessional. Refuse her access and report her.

activate · 22/08/2011 18:29

it's optional

stop seeing her

Original poster
Fatshionista · 22/08/2011 18:30

DD1's birthday cake even.

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 22/08/2011 18:31

I haven't even had a developmental check for 12 month old ds yet, let alone 2 people coming to my house Grin

worraliberty · 22/08/2011 18:33

Oh I thought NN meant Nit Nurse

This thread makes more sense now Blush

SardineQueen · 22/08/2011 18:36

What is an NN and why is she coming to your house?

Round here you don't get HV visits, you have to go to them. Or not, as the case may be Grin

The NN (whatever that may be) sounds bonkers and horrible.

reallytired · 22/08/2011 18:39

This really shows what postcode lottery a health visiting service is. In our area there are no reviews after 6 weeks unless there is a problem.

It seems weird to have two people unless there is a worry about safety.

ragged · 22/08/2011 18:39

Nursery nurse? wtf?
I had a friend with a baby like that OP and she got a load of grief for it, too. Slimmed down to being back on the chart by 2.5yo.
These checks are optional, I think I'd skip them for my own mental health in your case.

RitaMorgan · 22/08/2011 18:41

Nursery Nurses are used to do the routine stuff to free up HV time - things like weighing at clinic, running new mum groups at children's centres etc. She isn't really qualified to give you health advice imo.

Original poster
Fatshionista · 22/08/2011 18:43

I have a nursery nurse too. She's allocated to this area and everyone I know around here has her on top of our HV if we request her. She came around once to kind of 'introduce herself' because HV wasn't available and she keeps coming back.

I don't think there is a safety issue. We have DD1 who's only 3 and DSS who's 2.6 so we have all the appropriate safety gates and cupboard locks etc.

:/

OP posts:
SardineQueen · 22/08/2011 18:43

What is a nursery nurse?

Sorry I am utterly foxed by this thread!

Original poster
Fatshionista · 22/08/2011 18:44

She keeps coming back about DD2's weight which I found odd. If it was anything else I'd kind of get it but isn't DD2's weight none of her business?

OP posts:
SardineQueen · 22/08/2011 18:44

Just seen your last post you need to think of a way of telling her to piss off, frankly.

Original poster
Fatshionista · 22/08/2011 18:44

To be honest, I think she's trying to catch me off guard drip feeding DD2 coke from a bottle teat.

OP posts:
Dozer · 22/08/2011 18:48

I would ring in the morning and ask that she not attend because of her previous comments to you, then complain through the complaints procedure of the health visiting service, her behaviour sounds unacceptable.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 22/08/2011 18:52

PLEASE contact them and tell them she is not welcome and make an official complaint. She's being un (hmm) professional and dong nothing but causing you stress. Her comments and attitude could cause a lot of harm to mothers who are eg first timers without such a good HV to balance out her crap.

It is reassuring to hear that you have such a good health visitor. Usually only the bad ones get mentioned on here.

freybean · 22/08/2011 18:52

op sent her round to me she'll have a fit

my dd is 6 months and weight just a bit less then your dd, prob the same lengh as she is just about to outgrown 6-9 months clothes

if the results have all come back normal then i'm sure there is nothing to worry about, just tell her to piss off Smile

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 22/08/2011 18:52

Doing Blush
No dongs.