aibu to work part time as youngest is 11... thinking of long summer holidays..in my view i am putting family first

[slartybartfast]

what age of your DC is it ok to work full time and let them run ferral?

i rarely go off sick, i think because i do work part time, one day off in the middle of the week and 2 days leaving at @ 3 or 4

thats actually a good idea, cat64
flexible working
will have to look into that

Goodness MNers can be so literal. Of course people shouldn't be sacked or leave jobs that they got when they had small children. I am just saying that people who are looking for work IMO shouldn't be rigidly seeking PT & TT only jobs because rather than doing what they fancy they should be considering the wider community and leaving these jobs to people with small children who don't just want to sopend time with teenagers but have no way of finding or affording essential care for ther children.

That is my opinion and personally, as someone who thinks furhter than my own front door, I don't think it's that ridiculous.

dont forget the grandparents who cut down their hours or give up work to look after their grandchildren

2 ds (2 and 7) I work 30 hours over 5 days to do school/nursery pick ups. DH is full time. Can't do term time working because we can't afford it and can't do condensed hours because I need be able to do the school pick ups during term time. School holidays are a PITA tbh, we both take leave my Dad will do a day or so here and there. I also work up enough hours when I'm at work to be able to a few days as time off in lieu.

I'mgoingtocounttofive 'That is my opinion and personally, as someone who thinks furhter than my own front door, I don't think it's that ridiculous.'

I think you are thinking very close to your front door- people with small children are not the only people who would benefit from working P/T....People with..disabilities, students, responsibilities for care of elderly parents.
Parents with small children are not the only members if society who find juggling their life and work expensive and difficult.

Personally I hope to never have to return to work full time. I like part time and it suits me to do this. Fortunately I am able to do this because our finances enable me to do so. I would like more money but not enough to compromise on my lifestyle.

I don't really see that having kids is the only acceptable reason for someone to work parttime. Surely if you can afford it, you want to and you have a job where it is possible than that's fine. If I had the money and no kids I would still love to work part time just because I could.

It depends on your family situation and finances, I reckon. If either my partner or I went p/t we would lose our house so would definitely be being unreasonable. In an ideal world I would love for us both to work a little less, though. It would make a massive difference to our home life, I think.

re the idea of p/t being reserved for parents of pre-schoolers... pshaw! It isn't usually the sort of thing where if one person in an office works p/t then another isn't allowed to anyway. As an aside, I trust my feral 12 year olds less at the moment than at any point in their childhood to date. They are basically lovely but have a terrible mixture of impulsivity, thoughtlessness, urges to experiment and susceptibility to peer pressure that has led to countless stressful dramas and disasters in recent weeks. I thought I would be happy to leave them home alone for the odd day in the summer holidays by now but I honestly think neither they nor any who rode with them would be safe!

PMSL at the reasoning behind giving up my term-time job to make way for those with small children. - why should I? I enjoy the hours/place of work and the holidays (the majority of which I don't get paid for). And whilst they were small I was killing myself working full-time to make ends meet.

And yes as joric suggests - there are many, myself included who have other caring responsibilities beyond small children. I also have a dh working shifts and weekends and if I was working 9-5 sometimes I wouldn't see him for several days. I think it's you who perhaps needs to think beyond your own front door.

My God you could say that about any job counttofive

There'll always be someone who feels they 'deserve' a job more than someone else. Surely we're not all expected not to go for the jobs we want incase someone else 'needs' them more?

So someone with good educational qualifications shouldn't work in a warehouse for example because those jobs should go to the less qualified?

The list would be endless and no-one would end up in employment for fear of 'taking' someone elses job.

cece - yes absolutely. I could also work full-time but I can afford not to and prefer to preserve my current work/life balance.

you get to choose what is right for you and yours.

in my family women have worked full time for many generations. we are working class but my great grandma used to save more money per week than the average man earnt. i was speaking with my mum about this last night & we think a full time working mother makes us tough.....& we like it like that....BUT i am not saying this is the 'right thing', just right for us.

I'm not sure if I should whisper this, but I work p/t and my children are now 20+! I didn't go back to work after having them until the youngest was at secondary school. This was mostly choice, though with no family support locally (except DH), it would have been hard to work f/t certainly. We had very little money but managed on dh's wage.

After retraining I worked f/t for 2 years, then as my children became teenagers I went p/t again - they needed more of my time and energy than I could give them while working f/t. We had few holidays but more of the little pleasures that come with time spent together.

Now they are grown (if not quite flown yet), I have no intention of going back to work f/t unless I really have to. I work term time only too, so I'mgoingtocounttofive would probably think I was being doubly selfish by taking a p/t, tt only job, but I disagree, or more accurately don't care what she thinks. I've done what is best for my children, my family, my relationships, my life etc.

At the end of my life, am I going to wish I had spent more time at work and less with my children? I think probably not.

Also it was easier for a lot of Mums years ago.

Growing up in the 70's, I think almost every one of my friends had a their Nan and Aunts living in either the same street...or a few streets away at the most. This was when it was quite easy to get a council property. Actually having family in the street you applied to live in, would get you further up the list.

That must have made working much easier for a lot of Mums.

Iamgoingto - I am one of those people of whom you speak (though my DCs aren't yet teens), and whilst I do understand a little of your frustration can I just point out that:

a) I want to be around for my children after school when they become teens, and
b) Doing a full time job would seriously do my head in, with possible resultant MH problems

I have also met several people who dropped their hours when their DCs became teens

1, We have to many chances to please ourselves these days. I have a lump in my throat when I hear "we have the choice to do what is best for us and our family". Yes, because that's going to help matters in the current climate isn't it.
2, I am sorry for commiting the cardinal MN sin of not including a disclaimer listing every possible situation a person can find themselves in i.e. carers/ the elderly/ students/ and the disabled. Very small minded of me.

Full time work does everyones head in, and everyone wants to spend time with their teenagers.

Hold hands up, gives up, pisses off.

That's my point Cat when I was young there was very little need for all that due to the amount of local extended families.

Unless it was an area thing? I'm talking about the Eastend of London and just outside it.

IME - teenagers require just as much parental input as toddlers albeit a different type of input. There's certainly a point when there is little in the way of childcare available for them but when they are not quite ready to be let loose at home alone.

I still don't really understand your POV I'mgoing. If I can afford to work part-time and choose to do so how does that not help in the current climate? If I worked full-time I'd be taking a full-time job from someone who really needs it wouldn't I? And it's not an MN sin to not list every exception but perhaps those exceptions are worth your consideration before you accuse people of acting in bad taste.

I'mgoingtocounttofive..... Do you do what is best for you and your family?

I guess I don't see my family as any different from anyone else's. My kids aren't any more important than anyone else's.
I can work, therefore I do. If they needed me at home, really needed me, then of course i'd be there. But i don't see that doing what you fancy is the best for your family...maybe it is slightly as in most teenagers would probably prefer mum at home with a cooked meal ready for their return, but they don't need it. We need to stop pandering to these kids. When we're talking about people taking these kinds of jobs when their kids are mainly out of the house socialising etc. that's not best for the kids... it's best for you which is selfish.

I could say, I'd prefer to spend time with my step daughter after school so i'll take a school hours role (if I could find such a rare beast) but I know a lot of people (sister, friends, family members) who have small children who don't have the option of childcare because there is none locally, or they'd lose money through working because their children need after school childcare and theyre on minimum wage. How could I deliberatly search only for that kind of work, knowing I don't really need it when DSD/DD's old enough to be at home alone?

And it is a crime not to list minorities on MN. I've been on here for years and despite in RL people assuming when you talk about issues that you're a decent enough human being to not forget that people who are disabled/ carers etc have a tough time of it, on MN you are supposed to proclaim this else get accussed of being small minded.