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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to *want to* poke DH in the eye?

28 replies

LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 18:06

dd (7 months) and I argue regularly over who gets the remote. I have taken the batteries out of one that never gets used and given it to her.

Dh returned from work and said I shouldn't give in to her. AIBU to think he is taking the piss telling me not to give in to her and that until he spends 12 hours a day at home alone with her it really isn't his business how many remotes I feed the baby?

OP posts:
ObiWan · 20/08/2011 18:08

Ha ha - why does he object? Are they engaged in a power struggle?

HedleyLamarr · 20/08/2011 18:10

YANBU. Especially if it's one that isn't used. Leave him at home with her tomorrow for about 6 hours. That should change his mind. Smile

Original poster
LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 18:18

Good I knew I wasn't being unreasonable.

If there were a power struggle you could bet DD would win, and that in the 6 hours dh would resort to crying! [evil grin]

OP posts:
milkshakejake · 20/08/2011 18:21

no you are not BU, and you are not 'giving in' - you are doing a very sensible thing, giving her a non-working one to play with! Unfortunately my kids only ever wanted the working ones and seemed to realise that the dud ones we gave them didn't do anything annoying!

tell him to wind his neck in.

Original poster
LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 18:23

milkshakejake

Luckily dd isn't old enough to have figured out my cunning plan, she is happy with coloured buttons for now. It won't be long though so I shall enjoy the quet until then

OP posts:
PervyMuskrat · 20/08/2011 18:24

YANBU. Glad that someone else does this! I get a few funny looks when I take DS's remote out of my handbag and let him play with it, but it keeps him quiet and means I can enjoy my tea and cake in peace.

Original poster
LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 18:25

Grin love your name btw pervymuskrat

OP posts:
VeraCanSignChocolateAndWine · 20/08/2011 18:31

Sorry but your post made me laugh.
YABU not to have poked DH in the eye already.

Wait until dd wants a mobile phone. give her DH's, he'll soon give her a dud one My dd2 had learnt, by 10 months, how to unlock mine. Cheeky all be it rather clever madam.

mayorquimby · 20/08/2011 19:54

"until he spends 12 hours a day at home alone with her it really isn't his business how many remotes I feed the baby?"

great attitude. I'm at home so i get to decide what happens.

Sofabitch · 20/08/2011 20:00

What is the obsession with remotes phones laptops in fact anything that is not a toy. Yanbu it's normal for babies to be obsessed with remotes.

blackeyedsusan · 20/08/2011 20:01

classic distraction technique.... they do like to think they know best these men, even though they only spend a fraction of the time with their offspring. I am sorry to say it does not get better...

Original poster
LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 20:01

Dh is an equal parent for the important things.

But if I were working and came home I would never try and tell him what he could or couldn't do to make his life slightly easier in the day. Sometimes you just need a break or the toilet. I don't think he understands that.

OP posts:
akaemmafrost · 20/08/2011 20:01

"great attitude. I'm at home so i get to decide what happens."

Er Yes, while he is not there, how else would it work?

Original poster
LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 20:02

babies know we are using the gadgets to ignore them so they try and tale them away. Babies are clever than me than they need to be

OP posts:
Original poster
LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 20:04

blackeyedsusan you will be flamed, but its true in dh's case!...

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 20/08/2011 20:17

"great attitude. I'm at home so i get to decide what happens."

Er Yes, while he is not there, how else would it work?"

Presumably the same applies to the household income then. Until you are out earning it it's none of your business how it's spent

Original poster
LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 20:19

Not really, I supported him while he studied a language- how he spent our money (that was earned by me) during the day was up to him.

OP posts:
Fontsnob · 20/08/2011 20:22

I think the point is that if you are at home, you don't tell the workon person how to do their job. So why should the working person tell the stay at home person how to do their job?

Fontsnob · 20/08/2011 20:23

Why would you want to dictate the day of the person at home with the DC?

fedupofnamechanging · 20/08/2011 20:26

mayorquimby, the two things are not really comparable. For a sahp, looking after the child while the other one works is their job. the wohp has to trust them to do it as they see fit. For the OP's dh to complain, is like the OP going into workplace and telling him how to do his job.

Obviously, they share the important decisions regarding both the baby and how the money is spent, but giving the baby the remote is such a piddling little thing. It's like the OP telling her dh he shouldn't buy a coffee with their money.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 20/08/2011 20:26

Have you got a spare remote to poke him with, Lola?

If not, use the sharp end of a pen or pencil to make your point in his eye Grin

Original poster
LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 20:28

I think the point is that if you are at home, you don't tell the workon person how to do their job. So why should the working person tell the stay at home person how to do their job

Exactly Fontsnob I am not going to tell dh how to do his job at work it would be ridiculous even though his job does impact both of our lives. I trust him to do his best

OP posts:
Original poster
LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 20:33

Have you got a spare remote to poke him with, Lola?

I'd have to take it off dd and frankly that kid scares me

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 20/08/2011 20:35

If it's such a huge issue to OP's DH, I'm sure he's got a brilliant alternative which works, in the event he hasn't Op's strategy works and isnt hurting anyone and making her life easier. My 2yr old DN goes for any mobile phone she finds lying around, she can unlock them all and even dial numbers, we employ various distracting techniques with her too.....

Fontsnob · 20/08/2011 20:36

Dd has fingertips of steel and the arms of inspector gadget. There is no hiding place safe enough for our remote controls/phones.

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