I think I need a good talking to over this one as I don't like myself for how I feel about it but can't shake off my feelings.
I have a good friend who, imo, has a bit of a useless prick for a husband. I have known her for about 8 years and throughout that whole time her h has never worked as he is writing a book. One book. The same book - he has never finished it. He is educated to Masters level but has never used these qualifications as he has been writing/reearching this book for the best part of ten years.
My friend has never been especially happy about this but things have got worse since they had their ds 5 years ago. The husband does nothing for his son and never has, really. He very rarely spends any time alone with him - didn't do this at all until the child was 6 months old and now, apart from a couple of isolated occasions, does so only during evenings when the boy is asleep. My friend worked full-time from the time her son was one until recently, though she has just gone part-time. Even when she was full-time, her h did no child-care, despite "working from home" and her son had to go to nursery f/t - something that upset my friend greatly (no offence to anyone, but she didn't want it for her son.) Her h has promised her that if he has not finished the book after 10 years, he will find work. The 10 year-mark is this autumn and he has been making noises about needing more time for the last couple of months, much to my friend's dismay.
Financially they are cushioned by her h's pretty wealthy family who give a few hand-outs and, most significantly, have allowed my frend and her h to keep the proceeds from the sale of a house they had bought as an investment when their son was a student. This money has recently allowed my friend and her h to buy a home, and a pretty nice one at that, mortgage-free.
I have never in my life begrudged anyone any kind of benefits before, or, to be more precise, ever given it any thought at all. But now I find myself thinking, why should this man be able to choose not to work, despite being highly qualified, have a lovely home and own it outright and still be able to claim anything at all? I was shopping with my friend today, looking for a lunch-box for ds who, along with her ds, will start school in September. I had assumed that her ds would take a packed lunch along with mine but she said that no, since she went part-time their income is so low that he will have free school meals. I'm afraid I kind of spluttered and laughed a bit, though managed to smooth it over.
Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and I don't like myself for it but, really, he potters around on his never-endingbook, she works part-time, they have a lovely home they own outright, ds has a significant amount of his meals paid for...I like to think a large part of my feelings are down to my deep dislike of her h, who really is a twat, but still, what do you think?