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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have said no to MIL's request?

61 replies

MilaMae · 19/08/2011 17:06

The request being to stand on a station platform,pay a fortune for parking and wait an hour minimum with the dc (7,7 and 6)for mil and fil to arrive on a first class steam train(which is always hopelessly late).

The request then entails going to a British Rail equivalent cafe on the platform with said dc and inlaws to while away 2 hours whilst my twin boys manage to consume vast quantities of sugar sachets and tease my dd mercilessly because all 3 are bored out of their brains.

We're then supposed to troop back and hang around for an hour minimum(it's always late returning)to wave said inlaws off as they tuck into their gourmet 4 course dinner en route to their plush 2 night hotel in Padstow(I think).

They live in London ,we live in Devon so mil thinks it's a good op for quality time which is actually code for us entertaining her during their 2 hour stop over.

Background info-Mil generally refuses to leave her garden in the summer and travel at all in the winter(for fear of being snowed in from Nov until March) .She will visit Devon during Easter only.We visit them as much as we can but it's slightly limited due to fuel costs.

Mil books said luxury train trips willy nilly,announces the date with no consultation and we're all expected to scuttle over.Last year sil and family trooped over from Somerset.We had 5 kids between us all under 8 trapped on a platform for hours-it was hell.

This little joyfest is supposed to take place the Sunday afternoon before the kids return to school.

DD,DP,dtwin 2 and I hate f*ing steam trains.Dtwin 1 and inlaws love them.

Sil has cleverly now moved and citing distance as a reason not to attend.She's been let off,dp has finally seen the light and said no(thank god)-he's in trouble.I think she cried.He feels shit but determined.

So are we being unreasonable????

OP posts:

LRDTheFeministDragon · 20/08/2011 02:42

*treat, not thread. This is what happens when I MN when I can't sleep.

MollyMurphy · 20/08/2011 04:08

God no - YANBU. Your MIL and FIL can't be arsed to put their retired and child-free selves out all that much to see the kids, so expecting everyone to congragate for an inconvenient 2 hour stop over is more than cheeky IMO.

Kiwiinkits · 20/08/2011 04:29

I think you need to facilitate your PILs seeing their grandkids, so YABU for not wanting to be bothered... BUT... YADNBU to want to hang around like that. Is it time you and your DH got your PILs a cellphone? They can text you when they're at xx station and then you'll know that they are approximately half an hour away, or whatever, and go down there to see them. Anything else is just madness. Time to join the telecommunications revolution PILS ten years too late

warthog · 20/08/2011 05:16

why can't they phone when they're nearby?

LolaRennt · 20/08/2011 05:41

I would go TBH, get the family thing out of the way. Call ahead find out if the train is later or on time. Show up when it arrives and leave when it is due to go because you made plans for 4 when it was leaving (or whatever tine it actually leaves)

Andrewofgg · 20/08/2011 06:23

YANBU. Dig your heels in. Say NO and mean it.

exoticfruits · 20/08/2011 07:22

I don't see why you have to be there an hour beforehand. If they have 2 hours arrive an hour after it should have arrived. Park away from the station and walk. Have a cup of tea and watch the train pull out. Promise the DCs you are going on somewhere else if they manage it nicely.

ThePosieParker · 20/08/2011 07:38

Either they come and see you and make your visit the main activity or they can bugger off.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 20/08/2011 07:38

I think the type of people they are is really important here.

IF they give a crap about you and are interested and loving grandparents, then getting them to ring you when close / showing up an hour after they are due to arrive and spending time with them would be the right thing to do.

IF they are horrible and honestly don't give a crap about you all, then I don't see any reason why you should bother going.

I think you should treat people how they deserve to be treated. Make time for those who love you, give no time to those who treat you with contempt.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 20/08/2011 07:38

You went, it was shit, so you don't go again.

Making 5 people miserable to entertain 2 people who just happen to be at a loose end doesn't add up.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 20/08/2011 07:41

You went, it was shit, so you don't go again.

Making 5 people miserable to entertain 2 people who just happen to be at a loose end doesn't add up.

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