...or is this foul?

[RoseC]

We have a house guest, DP's best friend (emigrated and he doesn't see him often), so we had breakfast this morning with a mutual friend at our place.

I think I am possibly being a bit U as I instinctively don't really like this man and it's only the second time I've met him, so I haven't given him the benefit of the doubt.

He helped himself to something that I was saving for my lunch (no big deal, although I am on a diet so I was a little peeved that my treat had gone, but that's part and parcel of hosting) and then licked his knife and stuck it back in for a second helping. There is no way I can cut off what his knife touched because there's so little left and I just sat there, silently swearing, a) because I think it's foul and b) because I would never behave like that when staying with other people.

He then tried to cut a slice of the cake I made with the same knife (which had cut three other foods by this point). I couldn't help myself and shoved the cake knife (right next to the cake) into his hand and mumbled something about it being my particular neurosis.

I think my problem is more with DP than this man - he's staying six nights, DP is working full days and I'm meant to be working from home (small flat - I work in the living room). We go away for ten days next week (the day after this guy leaves) and I need to finish my work. I can't afford to commute every day and don't feel like I should leave to the public library when it's DP's guest. Argh!

That is some breakfast. And he still felt the need to tuck into your pate. Greedy git.

I'm with you on the cheese, and the marmite.

Off to source the Mexican Bean Pate.

What's weird about offering cake for breakfast?

That's an interesting breakfast!!

The pate sounds fab too.

I don't know LadyClarice. I would never think of putting a cake on the table at breakfast. Prefer kippers myself.

You could secretly salt all the food. That will put paid to his shenanigans. Or if you have a cat encourage it to leave a 'gift' in his his espadrilles.

I'd have a cake AND kippers ...
But then I love breakfast/brunch almost more than life itself, and partly because call it brunch and you can eat anything and everything. Cereal, fruit, eggs, bacon, kippers, toast, cake, muffins, juice, coffee, champagne, bloody Marys ...

YANBU.
Licking a knife is bad enough, it really makes me cringe, but then using it to cut food is vile.

Grit your teeth and concentrate on getting your work finished before your holiday.

He's stayed for lunch!! I am sitting around the corner so can just hear crinkling sounds as he opens things (was in the middle of eating mine when he came out of his room). This is so fucking awkward. We've been sat in silence whilst I MN and eat (he thinks I'm working) and he plays on DP's computer.

I can't see what he's making (kitchen door is half shut) but I did hide my favourite low fat cheddar behind the fruit juice. If he's found it I may commit murder. At the very least I'll trim all the edges.

Bugger... he's out of the kitchen and sitting on the sofa but I don't have the gumption to stare at his food. I tried a quick peek and he stared at me.

Teeth are firmly gritted muminthemiddle

Stay. Strong.

If he gets annoying - just ask him what went wrong today.... when he says 'Nothing/why?' say that your DH said that you would have plans to go out everyday as he knows it's impossible to be in the house when you are working.

Knife -YUUUUCK

Treat, I was a bit 'oh well' until you mentioned it was vegetarian pate - now I'm on your behalf

The knife licking is disgusting. I feel your pain as my MIL always 'tastes' any food she's cooking with the stirring spoon and puts in back into the pot to stir the food with. It makes me go cold!
Grin and bear this chap for another few days - tell him you wont be stocking up on any extra food as you're going away next week - get him to eat his way through the old store cupboard stuff lurking at the back of your cupboard (Stale crackers, etc)

shock horror he licked a knife !!!

omg get yourself down to the hospital pronto! but not before you have disinfected you and your OH to an inch of your lives, plus of course every surface in the house, and the rest of the street, just to be on the safe side

sorry to say, but you are probably now at deaths door.

But fifi - It is not about the germs - it is about sharing bodily fluids with someone you would prefer not to.

Putting your knife in your mouth is one of those things I just can't get over.

I can ignore chewing with your mouth open, wiping your mouth on the table cloth, interrupting conversation but put your knife in your mouth and I can't even hide my disgust.

And then to use it on communal food?

I bet he drinks from the milk bottle. Skank.

fifi would you eat something someone had just spat in because it's the same thing.

OP YANBU wrt to your treat get your DP to buy you some more to replace what his friend took.

Fifi - licking your knife and then using it again to help yourself to cake/pate/whatever, that other people are sharing, is a breach of basic good table manners. Good table manners - and indeed all good manners - cost nothing but a small amount of effort, and I do not understand why anyone would mock them. They aren't snobby or ridiculous - they mark us out as civilised beings.

YANBU at all.
And was it "banana cake" or banana bread, which is obviously meant to be eaten for breakfast?

Definitely cake, although Delia recommends spreading it with butter before serving. Personally I think it's sweet enough to begin with and quite crumbly into the bargain.

He's back, having been out for two and a half hours. I feel sorry for him in a sense but am definitely having a private word with DP this evening - this will not be happening on Monday and Tuesday. The flat isn't big enough. I could work in our room but it's freezing (we're up North) and dammit I want to work from home. On the plus side I made a breakthrough today with my data so it's not all annoyance :)

cojones I haven't checked the milk bottle

He ate all of the pate at lunch. Slightly relieved. Asked DP for more (He's home, yay! He's sorted out a plan of activities for tomorrow, yay! He's planned another one of those breakfasts for tomorrow, boo :( ) and he told me I was being ridiculous.

Told him you all mostly agreed with me and he called you all "loonies". He's charming. He's also invited this guy to a joint 4yrs and 1yr birthday party tomorrow and hasn't told the parents.

That sounds like punishment enough!

(the children's bday parties I mean)

Thanks MadamDeathstare, hadn't thought of that. Breakfast will be eaten from communal platters on the table with everyone helping themselves - if I try and serve it up individually DP will start an argument in front of this guy - but I can get away with cutting up slices of cheese/spooning salad into a bowl etc. The new pate will not be making an appearance at breakfast.

They're lovely children They actually made me reconsider in favour of having children in the future (and then join MN for more info). It'll be mostly adult friends (non-English; I'm usually the only English person and they all formed a group at university) with their children so not sugar crazed screaming. They love cuddles and playing games and running around. I actually had a blast buying their presents (wanted to get the four year old a water pistol, which his Dad and he would love, but I'd like his Mum to still be speaking to me after tomorrow!).

I would probably have said something like, well now you've put your dirty knife into the x and y, I'll put them aside for your lunch.

Licking knives is bad enough,but using them again-urgh!
I would've gone nuts if someone had eaten my treat. You should've told him to back the fuck off

Cojones,my exH used to do that I even found out he used my toothbrush without me knowing sometimes