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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to go on holiday!!

55 replies

chazbomb · 18/08/2011 18:00

Problem is with stepson as well it takes the cost up for next year from £2500 (for me hubby and 2 boys)to £4000 if we take step son as well.
Really dont want my boys to miss out on a holiday, we could afford £ 2500 but £4000 just can't stretch to, it's cos we would need an extra room if stepson came as the rooms only fit 4. Husband thinks it's a complete no no not to take him but he does go away with his mum, not abroad though!
Don't want to be the evil step mum but really would like to get a holiday next next!!

OP posts:

LadyBeagleEyes · 18/08/2011 20:08

Just
Rhondajean
OP you'll find thousands of holidays that can fit you all in.
Do you actually want him included at all?

Minus273 · 18/08/2011 20:09

'His mother already takes him on holidays.'

That doesn't mean he shouldn't get to go on holiday with his Dad and half siblings.

Portofino · 18/08/2011 20:11

My dad used to go on holidays to Spain with my SM and SSs. We used to get a week in Ostend with my GPS. It pissed me off NO end and still rankles a bit to this day. He drops lots of hints (now he is on his own again) that he might like to come on holiday with US. Strangely I ignore them

Maiavan · 18/08/2011 20:12

What his mother does and the relationship she has with her son are completely independent of the childs relationship with his father, stepmum and siblings.

You cant (help) raise a child and build a relationship based on other peoples relationships with your child.

honeymom · 18/08/2011 20:13

www.roomfor5.co.uk/blog/?p=584

rhondajean · 18/08/2011 20:14

I think I suggested they could all do something together later on if anyone read properly.

honeymom · 18/08/2011 20:14

www.roomfor5.co.uk/

worraliberty · 18/08/2011 20:14

Its not her child and I can totally understand her wanting to take her children to somewhere in particular. And I think shes entitled to do that

Rhondajean but she's not the only adult going on the holiday is she? Her DH is going too, so when you apply your logic...surely he's entitled to have his son come along too?

rhondajean · 18/08/2011 20:16

Sure, if he can afford it.

Minus273 · 18/08/2011 20:17

What would people be saying if it was a step-father wanting to exclude his step children?

I am not an expert in holiday prices as haven't been away for a long time but I would think you would still be able to get something reasonable for 2.5K.

Maiavan · 18/08/2011 20:18

Thats not the point rhondajean. The child will be excluded from the "family" holiday. What message would that send to the child and is that the correct message to be sending to your DS?

worraliberty · 18/08/2011 20:19

Sure, if he can afford it

Oh, are you assuming the OP has paid for her children alone?

She says " we could afford £ 2500 but £4000"

I took that to mean both adults are paying for the holiday?

Hulababy · 18/08/2011 20:20

It's the family holiday. You can't go on the family holiday and decide to exclude one young child from it.

YANBU to want to go on holiday.
YABU to chose a holiday where you can't afford to take ALL of the family.

rhondajean · 18/08/2011 20:21

I didnt assume anything except that he was the father.

You seem to have made an assumption about their finances.

Minus273 · 18/08/2011 20:23

But they can afford a holiday just not the particular holiday the OP originally had in mind. In less than 5min of searching (complicated by me not knowing the ages of the children) I found 2 holidays in Majorca the first week in June for 2 adults for less than 2.5K on significantly6 so. I would imagine with a bit of time and effort the OP or her OH could find plenty more to chose from. Being fair and inclusive to a child is worth the effort IMO.

worraliberty · 18/08/2011 20:23

Well you confused me rhonda when you said 'sure if he can afford it?

If they are both paying for the family holiday, then surely they'd both pay for the family to go?

talkingnonsense · 18/08/2011 20:25

Could you have a low key little kids holiday with dh and your little dc, and a different style of holiday with all the kids? I understand you might want time with your nuclear family, especially as with the age gap you might need to do different activities, but equally you don't want dss to feel excluded? Maybe go away while he is away with his mum, and then again with him too?

rhondajean · 18/08/2011 20:26

OPs gone quiet. I dont want to talk for her, I dont know their circumstances, I do know what I would do.

honeymom · 18/08/2011 20:28

If you have a 2.5k budget. Then that's what you spend for the whole family. You look at holidays within your budget. No point looking at holidays that you can't afford. (unless you are lottery dreaming)

Maiavan · 18/08/2011 20:28

IF it was only the OP paying, I cant see what the difference would be. Surely just because she was paying - she wouldnt leave a child behind (he is equally part of the family)? Or does the person paying for a family holiday get to decide which child is left behind {shock]

worraliberty · 18/08/2011 20:30

Maiavan Exactly...a family holiday should include all children in that family.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 18/08/2011 20:42

With a 2/3 year old in tow, I doubt that you'll want a villa with pool unless it is particularly secure.

Rent a 2 bedroom villa or apartment close to one of Mallorca's beaches direct from the owners, book your flights with easyjet as soon as their 2012 schedule is available (the earlier you book, the cheaper the flight), and arrange car hire to start at and return to Palma's Son Sant Joan airport, or take a bus/taxi (taxi rank and bus stop are immediately outside the arrivals lounge) to your accomodation and book car hire in resort if you want to explore the island.

Even in peak season (July/Aug), by booking in advance you should be able to bring the cost of a 2 week holiday in at less than £2500 for 2 adults/3 children.

If you prefer a hotel based holiday, again, book direct and don't discount 2* accomodation as some of the most welcoming and spotlessly clean family-run hostals I've had the pleasure of staying in while in the Balearics and on the Spanish mainland have been in the lower star bracket.

The cost of living is generally cheaper on the Spanish mainland than in Mallorca; if you book a holiday on one of the Costas you'll be sharing the same sun and paddling/swimming in the same sea at considerably less cost.

mummytotwoboys · 18/08/2011 21:12

YANBU but you cant not take him - how would you feel if your DH said ok well we will take 1 DS and DSS but leave DS2 and home with family. because you are basically asking him to choose between his three children. Find a cheaper holiday, win win!

create · 18/08/2011 21:45

I've been out in RL since I first posted on this thread, but it's still being bugging me, but I have come up with a solution!

OP, take one of your DDs and leave the other with GPs or similar. See how unreasonable you are being to ask you DH to do just that?

Just like every other family, you'll have to go somewhere you can afford to take everyone. And please don't ever let the boy know that "he" cost an extra £x or prevented you from going where you really wanted to go. He didn't. The cost of the family holiday was £y between you.

create · 18/08/2011 21:45

Ah, mummy had already said that

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