To feel depressed because I can't cook

[Olivetti]

The fast food baby thread prompted this, but it's not really a thread about a thread - more a plea for help.

I can't cook! In my 20s, I was a singleton/party girl, and basically survived on chardonnay, silk cut and crackers Fast-forward to my 30s, and I am married, have a 9 month old DD, and am getting more and more worried. My DH is an excellent cook, so I became even more complacent in some ways when I married him.

Don't worry - I'm not giving DD junk. So far, I've managed to get by with weetabix, fruit and veg (I can cook those), bolognaise/stew/chicken that DH has made, yoghurt, and I have turned to Ella's kitchen on occasion.

But I know that I have to get competent for the future. It is meat I am terrified of, to the extent that I can't even do a chicken stir-fry, because I feel so under-confident about knowing when it is cooked etc. I've looked into cookery courses, but they all seem to be either quite advanced, or too narrow (i.e. based around a menu). What I really want, is a course on meat safety . I just wish I felt confident about preparing meat, deforsting/reheating, different ways of cooking it e.g. frying, grilling. I can stick things in the oven if I know the timings, and serve with veg, but anything beyond that and I feel worried.

I'm paranoid about giving DD food poisoning. Can anyone give any tips on what I could do? I would pay someone to give me a few one-to-one lessons on meat.

There must be some basic cookery videos on YouTube by now!

Yep, another vote for Delia. You won't even have to spend a fortune on that, I always see at least one copy in every single charity shop I venture into. It'll give you the confidence to move on from basic cooking to maybe finding a real passion. Delia is my failsafe, especially for baking, her cake mixture is perfect everytime. But the books and recipes I love are Nigella. And actually, they're mostly not that challenging either. Have a flick through Nigella Express, she has some very simple but yummy recipes in there.

get a meat thermometer, this will tell you when the meat is cooked through. Most have the markings on for different kinds of meat. you can then see what lamb cooked medium rare feels (most cooks can tell how done a steak or burger is by just prodding it) and looks like. I bet in a month or so you will be able to do without if for all but roasts

You don't even need a slow cooker - just a casserole dish and oven turned on low (120). I do lots of long, slow cooks for meat because I don't like it rare.

Could I confirm that this is the right book? Im going to order it now :D

www.amazon.co.uk/Delias-How-Cook-Book-One/dp/0563384301

I watch the food channel now but a lot is just way to complicated for me. I did do Barefoot Contessa meatballs on monday and have to say it was probably one of the best meals I have ever made!!

Thing is, are you targeting being able to feed your DD, or being able to cook well?

Cos the only kinds of meat my kids (7,4,3) eat is mince or roast chicken or lamb stew - and they're considered good eaters. I mean, a 'good' cook mint be treating themselves to a nice steak, butterflied rack of lamb, pork chops, coq au vin. And the same 'good' cook is probably bunging in fish fingers for the kids .

I know what you mean about meat safety, but with mince, roasts and stews you can't screw up: cook it until you can't see any raw bits.

I can recommend Tana Ramsays family cook book in general. For the age your Dd is - just giving her boiled veg steamed fish etc is sufficient. they don't necessarily need 'dishes' when they're starting out. Avoid annabel karmel like a plague. That woman can't make a FECKING sandwich without two pages worth of complication.

I bet if you had a look on You tube they will have directional videos probably from very experienced chefs aimed at people who are nervous.
(Dp taught himself to tie flys using youtube, and I taught my self how to use a cable needle!)

Youtube is good.

Make a list of basics that you need to master. Off the top of my head, I would say how to sweat onions (take it slow and steady) and how to make a basic white sauce (bechamel sauce) are two skills that are essential.

For meat and fish there are very simple tricks you can learn, such as wrapping it in greaseproof with a bit extra, a splash of oil and a teaspoon of water. Stick in oven for half an hour and then cut one open to see if it's done (serve yourself this one so no one knows). Serve with a salad and oven chips. Easy ones to try are chicken spread thinly with mustard and drizzled with honey and baked with half a lemon. Fish with lemon. Beef with mustard or cherry tomatoes.

Well done for mastering the meatballs. As you grow in confidence your skills will improve.

Have a search for lucysmam 's threads- there were loads of simple, inexpensive recipe ideas on those threads. I would stick to casseroles and such for first forays into meat, as you'll know it's cooked through after 1.5 hours or whatever.

I was veggie for 15 years, so was very unsure about cooking meat when I first started eating it again.
Maybe use really thinly cut meat first of all- like frying steak or pork?
Also sausages- because it's not going to matter if you keep chopping them in half to check if they're cooked!

When I weaned my first child, I found annabel karmel's book invaluable- Top 100 baby purees - double up the quantities, and don't puree- lots of the recipes are actually really good and tasty. (dhal, tuna pasta sauce, lamb casserole, beef casserole etc) They all freeze well, so you can get out portions as you need them. (I used ice cube trays when the children were small, and avent via pots (2 sizes) as they've grown)

There... I'll be kicked off MN forever now for that admission

Some of the recipes might seem a bit intimidating for a novice cook but with sections on food safety and storage, how to buy food, what cuts of meat to look for, reliable roasting times (take not Nigella!) and so on Leith's Cookery Bible is just brilliant.

As others have said, there's plenty online too.

Maiavan That's it :) Chapters in Book One are: eggs; omelette; other egg uses (custard, sauces etc.); bread; pastry; cakes & biscuits; flour-based sauces & batter; potatoes; rice; pasta.

Book Two is how to stock your store cupboard; fish; all meats (inc poultry); vegetables; salad; dairy; fruits; cheese; chocolate

I think I saw an 'all in one' version on Amazon when I was googling for my earlier comment - that might be more useful to you. I have both but in separate versions I stole DSis' Book Two

The great thing about casseroles is the meat is so soft and tender, so babies can eat it, and get used to the taste before their teeth come in. And yes- some of AK's recipes are a faff... mainly because I think she uses kosher methods for cooking (ie meat and milk separate). The recipes are tasty though, and introduce herbs and spices early which is a good thing IMO. I still use slightly adapted recipes from that book 5 years on for family meals now. True, it's not the most adventurous cooking, but there's a good variety of ingredients used, and they're quite homely recipes.

Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food has lots of good basic meat recipes - I would recommend it. His "Cook with Jamie" book is a bit more advanced, but also has lots of technical stuff about meat, as well as different vegetables and stuff.

I'd go for Delia - Complete Cookery COurse or the How to Cook if you need the more detailed version.
And then 'What to Cook and How to Cook It' by Jane Hornby which goes step by step and has pics of every stage of the meals which are things you actually want to eat - it's been wonderful for dyslexic MrNC in expanding his repertoire from 'the stirfry' to some impressive meals, in almost no time!

Delias book is good, but there are also so many others on the market too now that are easy to follow and also have good photos too, which I do think is important. If you are trying something new, you do want to see what it is supposed to look like!

Also, watch cookery programmes on tv.

Timing is the worry that many people who are learning have. So start of with stews and casseroles that are not time specific.. a slow cooker is definately a brilliant tool to have.

Preparation is also vital. Make sure you have ALL the ingredients, make sure you have all the utensils. Make sure you have time. Then get on with it!!

Dont panic, and dont rush.

The actual cooking is very easy, it is being organised before you start that is important.

Ok I have just ordered this one: Delia's Complete How To Cook: Both a guide for beginners and a tried & tested recipe collection for life

I think it will be brilliant for the kids as well and I am sure I could still learn a thing or 50

OP - I will give you a shout here once I have read it but from what the other woman are saying - it sounds brilliant!

I'm the same, OP. Am finding this a very interesting thread with lots of good tips :)

I'm ordering it too need all the help I can get, I have to google every time I decide to get creative (which means cooking from scratch for me)

I learnt to cook properly, and enjoy it, with Bill Grainger's Everyday. The recipes were so yummy but simple that i could achieve good results and interesting dishes with very little effort. Plus its a really nice lifestyle read for fantasizing about a sunny outdoor lifestyle!

Agree with RoseC - you really can't go wrong if you follow Delia's recipes.

And if you're worried about meat being cooked, you can always snip into it and see if it's done. Chicken and fish are the ones you have to watch moreso, but people often eat rare/med steak.

Once you've mastered it a couple of times, you'll feel completely different and much more confident.

Another vote for Delia, I was in a position where I could do a set meal but not the basics (seriously I could make a chicken curry from scratch hand ground spices and all, but didn't know how long to boil an egg for. I thought to hard boil an egg it had to be on for at least 30 minutes)

Delia fills in all thoes little gaps, after that Google, trust me so many of my kitchen specials have come about having run to the computer in a panic and googling things.

Oh shes on line too www.Deliaonline.com

River Cottage Meat Book and a meat thermometer.

Jamie and Delia are great too, as lots of people have said.

Thing is, meat changes colour and texture when it's cooked so it's easy to tell if it's safe to eat or not.

You need to buy some meat and get stuck in, I can guarantee it'll be easier than you think.