AIBU to think that once grandparents are warned that

[ChablisLover]

DS is tired that they should not come over at bedtime to wind him up.

DM and DF started this habit of coming over at bathtime - if they don't ds kicks up stink. We are trying to wean him off it as when he starts school next month it won't happen mainly cos they will be picking him up three days a week.

Yesterday, warned DM twice that DS was tired, had been up early and the rest.

They phoned and he whinged in the background so to pander to him they came over. When they are here I am overruled on everything and told a little bit of pandering works wonders this time of night.

Now DS is 4 1/2 - he has been hell the past few weeks to parent and I am trying to get him to understand that mummy and daddy are in charge and he is not. Now DM and DF coming over and ignoring or overrulling what I say isn;t the way forward.

Also, as DF winds him up to high heaven - he doesn;t do quiet time - I am left with an overtired ds who takes forever to calm down and go to sleep. There is inevitably tears and tantrums. We all get het up. I don;t think it is fair on him, nor me cos I get the blame for trying to impose order on the situation. I had said in the past to DM about this and she agrees but just says I have said to your father but he doesn't listen - it will all change come September.

Help - AIBU (and any advice on how to deal with much appreciated)

It highlights exactly what the problem was though, and well done you for putting your foot down straightway. I think getting alternative child care is wise too. Your consistency and firm boundaries are hugely important to your son , even (especially) when he tests them same goes for your father .

Fair enough if your mum is fine. However, it might be fun to point out the inconsistency in a parent's raising a child, then not trusting the child to do the same.

Independent care sounds an excellent idea. With school starting, hopefully that will free up a cascade of places, and you won't have to wait long!