to think if you are struggling to feed your children

[biddysmama]

you shouldnt hire a cleaner

a couple of weeks ago my friend was telling me she only has £50 a week to feed her,her dh and 2 children and that shes really struggling..... now she cant keep on top of the housework so shes looking for a cleaner

Come and kick my arse then Bonnie because I am a SAHM with a cleaner.

OP, YABU. Mind your own business and maybe she'll remain a friend.

Some people just whinge about money, saying their skint is a default. She's not really skint, as the poster above mentioned. She just sounds like a whinger.

mind your own business OP

A friend of mine is like that; one moment she's telling me how skint they are and that they're living off value baked beans and tinned tomatoes, then the next she is off having a boob job and having hair extensions.

Very odd priorities IMO

I agree, I wouldn't prioritise having a cleaner over scrimping on the food budget but,

BonnieLassie "There's no excuse for a woman at home all day to have a cleaner."

That's a bit strong. You don't need an excuse - if you can afford it then why the hell not. Giving my cleaner a job means she can have a bigger budget for her food/living bills.

OP, is your friend coping in other areas, just wondering if maybe she is struggling perhaps and finding it all too much, maybe she sees the cleaner as a way to get back on track?

Having a cleaner is good. You've created (part of) a job. That's important

I have plenty time to clean but I hate it.
I'd love to be able to afford a cleaner.

God I'm a SAHM and I'd love a cleaner!! Lucky pal!

Stay out of it OP - her priorities are under her jurisdiction, not yours.

I am a SAHM to 2 DD's (3.9 yo and 2yo) and I would have a cleaner for a couple of hours a week if I had the spare money. I don't though

I will however be getting one once I am back at work when the girls are at school full time cant wait

Gawd I have a 2yo and a 4yo and I can't keep on top of the housework!

I know SAHM with cleaners too which I was a bit about until I have DD2 and she got mobile...

Btw - I have three kids, including two toddlers and a small three bedroomed terraced cottage - keeping this place presentable is an arduous task indeed. As soon as I've tidied one pile of crap up, they've made another. I never seem to stop picking and putting away toys and all the other crap they pull out and spread everywhere on a daily basis.

If I could afford it, I would deffo have someone in twice week to clean bathroom, change beds, wipe down skirtings and oven, dust throughout .....and clean the windows etc etc....I'd do all the tidying and putting away no problem, but I'd love to pay someone to do the gruesome, time consuming tasks that come on top of all the immediate cleaning and clearing that I do all day, every day.

Nothing wrong with it!

OTOH, a SAHM with two pre-schoolers can quite legitimately claim to have trouble doing all the housework. Presumably she's a SAHM because she wants to be at home with her DC, not plonking them in a play-pen in front of the TV while she does the vacuuming and ironing. There's a reason nursery staff/CMs aren''t expected to do a load of cleaning work while caring for children - it's because if you're doing it right it's a full-tie job in itself and unless you've got textbook easy children who both nap at the same time it's not always possible to get ANY housework done. Give the woman a break.

Thank you!! I'm a single SAHM with 4 DC under 7. It's hard!

Mine both dropped their naps when they hit 1

As for Bonnielassie "There's no excuse for a woman at home all day to have a cleaner."

Yes there is. And that excuse is 'because you want to'.

I'm at home all day and I have a cleaner for two hours a week mainly to do the floors and hoovering as DS has SN and can't be told to keep out of the way. He is also terrified of the vacuum cleaner.

I take him out (as I do every day anyway) to the park and defy anyone to say that isn't work. It's both incredibly stressful and mind-numbingly boring if such a thing were possible. I'd much prefer to clean my own house.

" incredibly stressful and mind-numbingly boring"

my experience of parenthood thus far, in the main. unfortunately

I am a SAHM with a cleaner and only one preschooler, even. I can afford it & she needs the money (& does an unbelievably better job than me).
I do not feel in the least guilty ...! I wouldn't do it if I couldn't comfortably afford it... I guess we don't know what stress OP's mate is feeling, but obviously the decision re having a cleaner isn't purely about money or time.

YABU. If she budgets carefully and meal plans and doesn't buy a lot of crap food, she should be able to feed a family of four on £50 a week. Really not seeing the problem here. She's struggling with housework, didn't know that was a crime. None of your business really is it?

When i was on Mat leave I set up a business, we were broke but I hired a cleaner so as I could concentrate on setting up the business, actually my mum paid half to help me out.

My business has done very, very well and we are very lucky so worth every penny in the end.

Should point out that to outsiders i was technically at home all day doing nothing as nobody new what i was up to work wise. When i go on Mat leave this time i shall be at home whilst older 2 dc are at school with new baby, i'm damned if i'm letting the cleaner go.

YANBU. i suspect she likes having a whinge, whinge about the housework, whinge about having no money. maybe she likes to complain about things rather than take the necessary steps for her to make her life better.

Agree with InstantAtom; I bet plenty of people spend £20 a week on 'luxuries' like coffees out, magazines etc, don't think anything of it, and wouldn't expect to be judged for it. What gives anyone the right to pass judgement on someone for spending that money on a cleaner? YABU and not a very good friend IMO. It's her business and no one else's.

But does she still have £50 to feed the whole family for a week? Or has that now become like £30?

If it's the latter I think the money would be better spent on food, and not completely her own business if her children are going to suffer for it.

If she will still have the same amount then I don't really see a problem.

I have actually sat on the sofa and drank tea all day.DP cleaned the kitchen before he went to work