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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not understand how parents can complain about their kids being bored

68 replies

gailpottertilsleyplatt · 14/08/2011 22:37

I've read a few threads where MNetters are complaining about their kids whinging about being bored. How can they be bored?? Most have access to

TVs, DVDs, playstations, computers, books, magazines, paints, craft materials, sports equipment, toys, friends, pools, parks ... you get the idea.

So why do you tolerate them saying that they're bored? Why keep scheduling their entire holiday time? Why do you think you have to be their entertainment managers?

OP posts:

NacMacFeegle · 15/08/2011 08:23

The secret is to keep their lives very mundane and dull from day one. Skew their basis for comparison. Mine think the beach and forest are places of wonder, and a trip to the pet shop to look at the parrot is met with gasps of awe. Oh, and they like going to the pub. It's quite a retro sort of childhood I think.

strandednomore · 15/08/2011 08:27

On the one hand I think you are being incredibly smug and patronising.

On the other hand I sort of agree with you. Having lived somewhere with nothing for children to do, where the holidays were endless and everyone stuck them in holiday school to stave off the boredom, I find it fairly easy (although can be expensive) to keep them amused in this country. However, there are still a lot of hours around the activities (eg 6am - 10am, or whatever time we go out, every morning) to fill and sometimes dd1 does get "bored". It's good for her, though - forces her to find something to do on her own. I don't want to spend my whole life organising her!

Morloth · 15/08/2011 08:32

I agree with NacMacFeegle keep their expectations low and they think you are a fucking genius when you pull out the Monopoly.

MovesLikeJagger · 15/08/2011 08:35

'So why do you tolerate them saying that they're bored? Why keep scheduling their entire holiday time? Why do you think you have to be their entertainment managers?'

Why do you assume that everyone else does this?

Smug OP, smug and a bit unpleasant responses to replies. Not pleasant. I'm sure there are posters on here whose children do all the things you mention and more, maybe less or maybe even (gasp) something you haven't mentioned in your super duper guide to the holidays.

Some kids get bored, some don't. I don't see why it bothers you at all.

sausagesandmarmelade · 15/08/2011 08:47

Being bored is a luxury....wish I had time to be bored!

No reason for kids to be bored during the holidays...there's so much to do and anyway they should be able to make their own entertainment with a bit of imagination.

Original poster

gailpottertilsleyplatt · 15/08/2011 08:51

I didn't say everyone, Moveslike, I was addressing those who were complaining about bored children.

OP posts:

MovesLikeJagger · 15/08/2011 08:58

But why does it bother you gail? If it's a thread title you see, just ignore it. Or if it's RL friends then again, why would it bother you?

crazygracieuk · 15/08/2011 09:03

In my opinion, it's a personality thing. Ds2 age 4 is brilliant at occupying himself and would never moan about being bored. He plays with anything- for example he had a dishcloth on his head earlier and pretending that it was the Harry Potter invisibility cloak.
Ds2 age 10 is the opposite. The only non-electronic toys that he has ever liked are Lego, football and his bike. The latter 2 require lots of space so are limited in appeal. He doesn't like reading but loves drawing and writing.

I agree that boredom is a luxury and that you only learn that once you're an adult and wish you had so much free time that you could possibly feel bored.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 15/08/2011 09:03

Agrees with FlyingOnion, boredom is the mother of inventive distractions (and mess and mayhem) as another poster said.

I think it's' good for children to have time to just be, wander about, look at and touch things and ask questions, without the parent micro-managing their time. If children are timetabled for everything then how do they get to develop their imaginations?

Original poster

gailpottertilsleyplatt · 15/08/2011 09:14

It doesn't bother me, Moveslike, this is a chat forum and I'm chatting about it because I'm bored

I understand children feeling bored but don't understand why some MNetters are at the mercy of their kids' moods.

DD doesn't have unfettered access to YouTube, she watches Hi-5 and Spice girls (I know, I know) clips whilst I'm in the room. And that's just one of the many - mainly non-screen - things she will do today.

OP posts:

privatename · 15/08/2011 09:40

i've got 5 kids and one of them (7 yr old) is the type of child that likes structure to his day,it's always him that asks what are we doing today? what are we doing after lunch,the others just get on with stuff,if it wasn't for my 7 year old i could get away with staying in my pj's all summer

Bunbaker · 15/08/2011 12:48

"I also wonder do children struggle to adapt to not having the structured school day where they are basically told what to do and when all day without actually having to think of things for themselves...."

I think you are right. I also think that children have far more distractions these days to keep them occupied than when I was small and they simply don't know how to be bored. As I said before, DD is an only child (I couldn't have any more) so she does get bored at times. She has friends she can play with, but not every single minute of every single day, and at the moment most of them are away.

I also agree that it is a personality thing. A couple of DD's friends are happy to play with her, but are just as happy to potter on their own, whereas DD always prefers to have a friend round.

Peachy · 15/08/2011 14:56

Mine love to camp; in a field they can amuse themselves endlessly (and we rarely take leccy, can't be arsed- it's books, ball or counting grass). At home they whinge. At school they are fine- ds2 is the biggest whinger, yet in school gets certificates becuase he uses his time to help other children who are struggling more.

The reason for his home boredom is becuase he is gregarious, this is a small village and if one friend is away it leaves a void; I love his company but have plenty else to do as well, DH works from home so is engaged much of the time in productive endeavour.

it's just him, the way he is.

Original poster

gailpottertilsleyplatt · 15/08/2011 15:20

My DD is also an only and I think it's important to nurture your inner resources so that you can keep yourself entertained as it's a good skill for adult life as well as childhood. I know plenty of kids with siblings who squabble day and night, they are not ready made companions for each other.

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 15/08/2011 15:30

'I understand children feeling bored but don't understand why some MNetters are at the mercy of their kids' moods.'

Because they're annoying when they're following you about complaining that they're bored...you can tell them that they have a room full of toys and books, computers, a park at the end of the road, tv, till you're blue in the face - it doesn't make any difference if you've a child that gets bored easily.

One of mine will happily entertain himself till bedtime, the other seems unable to do anything by herself - I haven't a schedule of entertainment for one and not the other, some children just don't like playing alone.

I don't do anything for them if they complain, but it's irritating...precisely because you know there's plenty they could be doing

ThePosieParker · 15/08/2011 15:36

I have a pocket full of bits of paper with jobs on, such as sort out socks, towel cupboard, shoe shelves etc. so when my dcs say they're bored they get given one.......funnily enough they don't say it.

One of my friends has taught each of her children to do housework chores over the holidays....brilliant idea.

aquos · 15/08/2011 15:45

I have one child who loves to be bored. He likes whole days streching ahead of him with absolutely nothing planned. He is always happy to amuse himself and only mutters about being bored if I make him come somewhere with me like Tescos or dog walking. He's 11 so technically old enough to be left alone for a few minutes, but he's not a mature 11yo so I'm still dragging him around with me.

my 10yo seems to think I am her personal childrens entertainer. She loves school, because for 6 hours a day activities are laid on for her. During holidays she flits from activity to activity, not engaging in anything. Her idea of hell is a whole day with absolutely nothing planned. She'll be a PITA all day.

So 2 kids, same parents, same upbringing, very close in age, but opposite ends of the boredom threshold.

dementedma · 15/08/2011 15:48

DS has been "bored" every day this holiday despite park, kayaking, playing his DS, fishing, drawing, reading, computer, days out etc etc.
Thank Feck he goes back to school tomorrow!!!!

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