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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand how parents can complain about their kids being bored

68 replies

gailpottertilsleyplatt · 14/08/2011 22:37

I've read a few threads where MNetters are complaining about their kids whinging about being bored. How can they be bored?? Most have access to

TVs, DVDs, playstations, computers, books, magazines, paints, craft materials, sports equipment, toys, friends, pools, parks ... you get the idea.

So why do you tolerate them saying that they're bored? Why keep scheduling their entire holiday time? Why do you think you have to be their entertainment managers?

OP posts:
sixpinetrees · 14/08/2011 23:12

My dcs know they can tell me if they are bored. They know I won't jump to attention but we all live together and quite often one or another of us will casually mention how they are feeling. I don't see what is wrong with being bored. I'm bored right now.

acsec · 14/08/2011 23:14

DP's DS gets 'bored' as soon as he finishes something - he finishes drawing his picture "I'm bored", we leave the cinema after seeing Horrid Henry "what are we going to do now?" he plays a game of Cluedo with us, then "there's nothing to do". My answer is always the same "How can you be bored? We've had a lovely day out, you have lots of books/ puzzles/ colouring/ making to do etc etc."

I've noticed it more with the ch in my class too, they seem to need constant entertainment and stimulation, but are not very good at using their imagination or thinking of something to do by themselves - I think it is because children spend increasingly longer 'plugged in' to TV/ DVDs/ computer games and they don't have to think about entertaining themselves so much anymore.

superjobee · 14/08/2011 23:19

DD has kept herself amused all holidays we go to the park once a week thats about all ive had to do tbh she has a wild imagination so makes up a new game every day and we play jim rummy and snap and blackjack every few days, we play connect 4 or build things with jenga blocks or colour in .. DD doesnt get bored and if she does she doesnt moan to me about it she does something about it Hmm

thefirstMrsDeVere · 14/08/2011 23:19

So this is a 'isnt it sad that people wish the summer holidays away' thread by stealth.

There is always at least one on every sodding parenting site plus loads of statuses on FB 'Am I the only one who wishes the hols could last for ever and ever. I love spending time with my children. I feel sad for the parents that dont'

bleuggh.

By the first Monday of the holidays DS2 had broken his bed, given DS3 a fat lip, eaten a bag of sugar and chewed a hole in his duvet cover.

Oh how I looked forward to another 6 weeks of that Hmm

Love, love, LOVE my boy but he is not much fun to have around when there is not much to keep him busy. Actually he can be a PITA when there is too much to keep him busy.

I look forward to the holidays and dread them at the same time. I have a houseful of kids and an OH who works term time only. I defy anyone not to go at least slightly demented after 6 weeks of that.

DS1 spent an entire year cartwheeling everywhere. He refused to walk. It drove me mad at the time but I sort of missed it when he stopped.

Original poster
gailpottertilsleyplatt · 14/08/2011 23:29

Nothing stealthlike about my posts, MrsDV. I just get exasperated with the posts where people are getting in a tizz about the school holidays. Play with them, ignore them, let them play alone or with friends, take them out, stay at home but stop letting them grind you down with their whinging about being bored.

OP posts:
PenguinPatter · 14/08/2011 23:33

My don't tend to moan about boredom - maybe occasionally it more the starting fights with each other or younger two destroying stuff. Actually this weekend eldest destroyed my washing line as she was bored - cut it down in several places with the clean washing then falling in the dirt Angry.

This morning DS destroyed several pegs - as he was in the garden and got bored - then a lamp in our room.

It all got to much for DH and me with the whining, fighting and destroying so we took them out for 5 hours - five parks via town and three shops with over an hour walk back home with water bottles and couple of snacks.

We keep doing this - they are going to be so fucked up with us filling their time like this.

blackeyedsusan · 14/08/2011 23:35

dd gets "bored" when she wants me to get off mumsnet and let her have a go at something.

Original poster
gailpottertilsleyplatt · 14/08/2011 23:37

I wouldn't think cutting a washing line up or destroying a lamp was a result of being bored - being bloody naughty more like.

OP posts:
MrsRhettButler · 14/08/2011 23:43

Dd never says she's bored, I've never thought about it til now.... Lucky me I guess fuck knows what I'm doing right though, I certainly don't entertain her much, I'm the bloody bored one in the house! Grin

MrsRhettButler · 14/08/2011 23:45

Agree with ops last post though! That's just being naughty!

PenguinPatter · 14/08/2011 23:57

DD1 claimed boredom for the washing line - which really isn't like her but she still got punished.

DS - honestly he has to be kept busy or he is just destructive for which again he is punished. TBH think it's his curiosity and it doesn't seem to have malicious intent and we have less issue if it is directed to acceptable tasks.

If they are busy with activities or out the house they do not destroy stuff. It often happens when they have get fed up playing with each other or doing other stuff.

I think instead of whinnying about being bored they take initiative and 'get naughty'.

Its like their problem solving and team working skills they deploy to get to thing like fruit, cakes other stuff they are not supposed to have. Any other situation would be fantastic and something to be proud of - but there a source of concern and 'naughtiness' requiring punishment.

PenguinPatter · 15/08/2011 00:00

OK mine don't do boredom whining - they go straight to naughty.

Aren't I the lucky one Hmm.

Lancelottie · 15/08/2011 00:04

And to all those saying 'Tell them to go and tidy their rooms' -- just wait till they're supposed to be doing GCSE projects all summer (DS1 has four, unless another one lunges at us out of the woodwork) instead of lounging around being bored. Room tidying instead of (or as he claims, preparation for) GCSE projects suddenly seems so much more appealing.

I'm bloody bored of telling him to stop tidying and get down to some English/Art/Geography DT, though!

Nihilisticbunny · 15/08/2011 00:47

Mine too Penguin, don't ever remember them whinging about boredom, they go straight to being silly, squabbling, making an almighty mess.

I really don't schedule them whatsoever, we don't have much money so entertainment is usually the park, we hardly ever go out before midday, unless necessary.

You do come across as a bit of a know all smuggard op, if I had the cash we would be off out every other day and scheduled to the hilt, as it is, we have no choice but to take it easy.

ilovesooty · 15/08/2011 00:48

YANBU. Those children who say they are bored probably want entertaining most of the time in school. Then teachers get bollockings for "failing to engage" their pupils. The parents who complain relentlessly (not the odd day here and there) are probably those who can't wait to get shot of their children and are dying for their free childcare to resume in September.

tabulahrasa · 15/08/2011 00:51

Hmmph, if mine tell me they're bored I give them housework to do - it doesn't stop them moaning the next time Hmm

Hardgoing · 15/08/2011 01:12

This is where having two children close in age starts to pay off: hell in the early days when both babies, but now they can play with each other. I don't think mine have heard about being 'bored' but they do get tired and bicker at the end of the day. I still love the holidays though, I tell them that it's a really special time, they don't have to get up early, put their clothes on, do what the teacher tells them, they don't have any clubs/after-school commitments, it's their time to choose what to do. They are quite 'scheduled' in school-time, so all this time off is actually fun for them.

Original poster
gailpottertilsleyplatt · 15/08/2011 01:37

And you come across as a bit of a dullard, Nihilistic, if you think that money and scheduling your kids to the hilt will stop them misbehaving. Can they read books? Play a game of rounders? Draw, use their brains, stare into space for 10 mins?

OP posts:
Morloth · 15/08/2011 02:56

DS1 knows better than to tell me he is bored. Because I wouldn't want him to be bored would I? No of course not! So I find him something to do!

Like cleaning the pool, or vacuuming the play room, or dusting the house or or or...

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 15/08/2011 06:16

Well, if you're allowing a six year old unfettered access to YouTube, OP, then of course they're not bored. Personally I limit and supervise that sort of thing. Talking of smug.

I'm intrigued at this idea that young children have access to pools, parks and friends without bothering their parents. How does that work, then? I have to take mine out, she doesn't just wander off on her own.

EttiKetti · 15/08/2011 06:28

I don't cram my children's lives with activities but I can't ever recall them saying they're bored. Maybe at 6&9 they're too young, but I'm sure my eldest had said it by this age. I think the fact they fight play so well together generally, helps though as they can just create some chaos game together a lot of the time.

LtEveDallas · 15/08/2011 06:37

DH combats 'I'm bored' with "Right, let's take the dog for a walk then"

Poor bloody dog is knackered!

bumbleymummy · 15/08/2011 07:53

Acsec, I agree with the point you made about children spending too much time in front of tv/computer/computer games - I think it kills their imagination which obviously allows them to get bored much quicker. I allowed DS1 a bit of extra computer time recently because we were having a bit of a hectic time with lots of other things going on in our lives and I noticed what anegative impact it had on his ability to entertain himself. He became very lethargic and grumpy and didn't want to do anything except sit in front of the computer all day. We nipped that in the bud pretty quickly!

I also wonder do children struggle to adapt to not having the structured school day where they are basically told what to do and when all day without actually having to think of things for themselves....

raspberryroop · 15/08/2011 08:07

sixpinetrees - I think makes the most sense on this thread for me ayway. I'm board doesnt me me jump to attention - just a kid expressing thier feeling at a certain time - I'm personally happy for my kids to express thier feelings to me, chance to discuss why they are feeling like that and what THEY can do about them.

AuntiePickleBottom · 15/08/2011 08:12

my son is getting bored.....we have done all those things in the OP and more.

he bored of doing the same thing,and we havent alot of spare cash for days out.