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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this facebook 'baby progress' status thingy is wrong?

34 replies

PencilCaseBlue · 13/08/2011 20:46

My friend has a facebook alert/status thing which uploads every week saying 'week X, the baby is/has...........' with a long description of the developments. But in week 25, it says 'Only 15 more weeks to go If my baby boy were born today, he would probably survive the ICU, as his tiny lungs CAN breathe'. AIBU to think this is rubbish? How many premature babies actually survive being born at 25 weeks? I am probably over analysing but it just seems to be a very lazy wording.

OP posts:
MissPenteuth · 13/08/2011 20:49

It should probably say "could survive the ICU". I don't know the exact statistics but "would probably" sounds like a stretch. I know they don't want to be unnecessarily negative, but they'd be better not to mention it at all than to include what could technically be misinformation.

I wouldn't point it out to your pg friend though.

worraliberty · 13/08/2011 20:50

I think they're pointless and stupid anyway to be honest.

They bore the hell out of me just like the 'baby tickers' on some chat forums. I have no need to know how anyone's baby is developing, how old their other offspring are...or how many chuffing days left til Christmas.

Grin
EuphemiaMcGonagall · 13/08/2011 20:51

Is it her first?

I would never be so public about something so uncertain: I prefer to be private and tell people only what they really need to know.

LolaRennt · 13/08/2011 20:51

I think its a weird fact to put on a happy little fb widget thing and could be quite upsetting to someone who has been in that siuation. Although personally they annoy the fuck out of me anyway, I am very happy when someone is pregnant but don't need to know that this week they may notice a little extra cervical mucas.

worraliberty · 13/08/2011 20:52

I am very happy when someone is pregnant but don't need to know that this week they may notice a little extra cervical mucas.

LMFAO!! Grin

cjbartlett · 13/08/2011 20:53

People don't realise no one is interested except the parents and possibly the grandparents
It is sooo boring

frasersmummy · 13/08/2011 20:55

The thing is you could go all the way to term and the baby still not survive and those of us painfully aware of this find comments like this update make us want to scream... dont you know this....

But I guess if you dont know then its exciting to think your baby si getting to the stage where they could survive in the outside world if they had to

working9while5 · 13/08/2011 20:58

Really? People don't find tickers helpful? I have never used one on fb myself but I found it really helpful that "mum friends" had them because it prevents me showing how little I listen by perpetually asking the same "and when are you due?" question. I'm a member of a facebook group of women who shared a thread on here when my son was born and there are 20 women in it, of which 15 are now pregnant again. I just can't keep up, quite frankly. The tickers save many a social faux pas...

GwendolineMaryLacey · 13/08/2011 20:59

You're a bunch of miserable sods :o People who put these sort of things up are excited, so shoot them.

HeyYouJimmy · 13/08/2011 21:08

YANBU. FB is great if you have relatives on the other side of the world and would like to catch up on the latest about them. I generally assume that any relative's/friend's babies are doing OK unless I'm told otherwise and I don't need to hear a week by week account of how the baby is growing. If there was any real bad problems, I'm sure your friend will let you know either by FB or preferrably by mouth.

TBH, I never had the internet at home until about 2yrs ago (I'm 33 and my kids are 5 & 6yo).

superjobee · 13/08/2011 21:12

i shut my facebook as its utter shite but i still go onto baby gaga to get my weekly fix of what DS is upto and let OH know whats going on :) but i also go to babycentre huggies parentsconnect and countless others as there is varying information available.

ballstoit · 13/08/2011 21:18

frasersmummy pregnancy and birth must be a terrifying experience after the loss of a baby Sad

Ephiny · 13/08/2011 21:26

I don't know how medically accurate it is, but seems a bit of a weird thing to put as your FB status. Does she have a particular reason to think her baby might be premature? 25 weeks is very, very early, isn't it - surely not something most pregnant women would be posting light-hearted comments about, unless it's her way of coping with the worry?

Seems a bit insensitive to anyone who might have lost a baby at that stage or later...

Sharney · 13/08/2011 21:28

A women I know has 2 boys, the 1st born at 26 weeks the 2nd born at 24 weeks both boys are healthy and now nearly in their teens. :o Agree with Gwendoline Your friend is happy and excited. She's having a baby for gods sake. If you don't like her that much delete her. In short, YABU.

superjobee · 13/08/2011 21:30

its not an actual status update its a pregenerated response from a linked website that 'updates' every week like the weekly horoscopes etc do

Original poster
PencilCaseBlue · 13/08/2011 21:34

Sharney - "If you don't like her that much delete her"

That's a bit of an assumption, isn't it? Hmm

Where have I said that I don't like her? I just think that the generic status-widget thing is wrong

OP posts:
worraliberty · 13/08/2011 21:37

"You're a bunch of miserable sods Grin People who put these sort of things up are excited, so shoot them."

I'd actually love to Blush

MissPenteuth · 13/08/2011 21:44

Sharney the OP's not complaining about the FB thing itself, just about the wording. It's the other miserable buggers posters who are saying they don't like them.

I never understand why people complain about their "friends'" status updates; if they're your friends, surely you should be happy for them. If you're so disinterested in what's going on in their lives, delete them from your FB or shut up about it.

faeriefruitcake · 13/08/2011 21:45

It's also very sad when a person miscarries because everyone who was recieving the feed then knows about it.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 13/08/2011 22:10

:o Worral. You're not my mother are you? Wink

I agree with MissPenteuth though. If they're your friends then why would anything they put on their FB annoy you? I had a cull recently and defriended over 150 people because it dawned in me that I'd never met most of them and wasn't really bothered about their status/pics etc. Now all my remaining FB friends are people I care about and love hearing from. I highly recommend it!

TottWriter · 13/08/2011 22:16

I just block all those bloody things from showing up. If you hover over the X at the side you have the option to hide the person or the widget they are using. That way it will never trouble you again! Grin

havealittlefaithbaby · 13/08/2011 22:30

My colleague put this up for his baby. Given that we've been ttc for over 18 months with no joy it made me want to vom. Hidden the app. Just too much. And the whole 'baby will could survive' thing is awful. Like what if someone you know had a baby at that point?! Awful.

MissyBrookes · 13/08/2011 23:00

You can block them if you wish. Some people find these things fun and some people don't I guess. But if you don't like them you don't have to read or see them!

GothAnneGeddes · 14/08/2011 01:46

YANBU - I find it very irksome how the tickers completely gloss over the realities of being born prematurely. They'd be better off not mentioning it at all.

And yes, I do have a friend whose baby was born at 25 weeks and died Sad

LolaRennt · 14/08/2011 03:56

I think FB has taken away all normal inhibitions and makes people come over self absorbed and horrible.

If I had a friend who was pregnant I would ask about her pg and expect her to talk about it on occasion. If she spent 24 hour a day telling me about it I would lose it entirely. But with FB came the idea that you could let everyone know with out discrimination about every aspect of your personal life. Work colleagues, old school mates, Aunt Ida... fucking everyone.