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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to kill my DH- what the hell are we going to do?

60 replies

BimboNo5 · 12/08/2011 10:53

Im so angry right now I could murder. DH is self employed but subcontracts. He normally brings home about 800 a fortnight and I bring about 1200 a month. Money is tight and we just get by. Imagine my horror when I see today for a FORTNIGHT he has been paid £140. Thats less than minimum wage. We arent going to be able to pay the mortgage. He says this is because they had to put some work right but im just astonsihed. How the hell do I begin to deal with this please im so angry and worried.

OP posts:
TalkinPeace2 · 12/08/2011 22:19

Banks are not in a mood to give self cert mortgage holders leeway at the moment - because of course so many of them were 'optimistic' with their earning potential in the good years.
and JUST WAIT till this case
www.accountancyage.com/aa/news/2101472/employment-ruling-affect-tax-status-million-workers
starts to kick in through the trades ....

Original poster
BimboNo5 · 12/08/2011 22:32

The mortgage costs 1200 a month. Add to that arrears we are paying off from when DH was ill with a brain tumour thats 1500. Then about 500 a month childcare, food (300 a month) council tax (100) travel to work for us both (300) electric, gas etc you can see its NOT being tossed off on frivolities...

OP posts:
TalkinPeace2 · 12/08/2011 22:40

Bimbo
All I can suggest is that you go to see the bank and get your mortgage rescheduled to make it affordable
then check whether your DHs insurance (He does have it I presume) can help

BUT
He's self employed.
In the good weeks you put money aside for the bad ones.
If he's on CIS, have you submitted his 2010/11 return yet as that may help ....

joric · 13/08/2011 08:33

Your mortgage looks too high for your earnings.
Will they extend the term to make it cheaper?

thesortinghat · 13/08/2011 08:51

Bimbo, I understand your frustrations as DH is also a SE sub-contractor and his wages get messed about constantly. There's always a bit take off there and a bt here all for nothing, but because they can. The problem is he can't just leave and find another job as there aren't any other jobs out there so they've got him by the short and curlies. Oh, and don't get me started in the number of times they just haven't paid him and we've had to wait a fortnight with no money for the next pay run. Angry

Its a really stressful situation when your dealing week to week with money, we're constantly pulling back from the last missed wage only for it to happen again. We've found a flexible loan helps like a constant credit card attached to our bank account.

gapants · 13/08/2011 09:09

joric that what I was thinking re the mortgage. We have a similar income as you op and our 25 year repayment mortgage is £700ish. We currently overpay by a £150 to try and get ourselves mortgage free as soon as we can. We got a mortgage based on x3 our earnings. It is the right amount for us a month and any more would mean a significant compromise on our lifestyle. Something to think about maybe? would you consider downsizing?

MoominsAreScary · 13/08/2011 10:39

My dp is also a se subcontractor ( he's a foreman) and has never had money taken off him for redoing work, if something goes wrong they all work hard to put it right and as long as they get back on schedule everything's fine.

I can understand your dh not wanting to rock the boat as we've found this year there are less jobs out there , the new government has cancelled a lot of contracts for roads and bridges etc so more people are out of work and wages have gone down. Weve lost £ 250 a week as wages can't be negotiated like they were in the past.

We do have problems when the weather is bad, 4 weeks unpaid over Xmas last year due to snow. But this is just part and parcel of being se.

However your dh must have known about his wage before now and should have warned you

mumeeee · 13/08/2011 11:05

YABU to be angry with your DH. These things sometimes happen when you are self employed. I know because my brother is self employed and his business isn't doing very well. Your DH probably feels awful. Talk to your bank or whoever you have your mortgage with. Explain the situation and ask if you can have a mortgage break.

DaisySteiner · 13/08/2011 11:21

The 600 pounds you're down this fortnight is annoying, but a side issue from the fact that you cannot really afford your mortgage. If you're struggling now, when interest rates are really low, how are you going to manage when they inevitably start rising in the next year or two?! I think you need seriously think about what you're going to do in the long term and consider downsizing or moving to a cheaper area because unless you've got a plan for increasing your income or know your outgoings are going to decrease soon, things are only going to get worse Sad

joric · 13/08/2011 11:33

I think it's unfair to be mad at DH in the circumstances... He's been ill but he's working, he's had to take a drop in pay this month for reasons beyond his control? your mortgage borrowing is big in comparison to your income... It's just hard times- unfair if you to blame him entirely - I imagine you both decided to take out the mortgage?
YANBU to be worried but it will all work out if you are careful for next few months.

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