To blame all the trouble on absent parents?

[SindyW]

I blame the parents who couldn't be bothered to bring up their own children. Typically Boris Johnson whos mother or public school (she farmed him out to) couldn't teach him how to comb his hair or which way up to hold a broom. Also, David Cameron who seems to have no temper or impulse control. He also seems more intersted in whether a Lobour MP has his jacket on than the riots. If they had been properly mothered the country might not be in the mess it is today.

I teach in a deprived, inner city primary school and my heart aches for some of the children I teach.

Their parents have it really, really tough. The ones who work barely make ends meet and are juggling the children too. The ones who don't work barely get by and the children go without lots of things that my DC would take for granted (proper heating in the winter, coats that fit...that sort of thing).

How is saying to their parents: 'you pay - get a job' going to help? Particularly as the minimum wage is barely enough to survive on.

That is apart from the fact that parenting is a job and the most vital one at that. How is it to be done properly when we aren't putting enough funding into supporting and education new parents? When we're removing funding for things like Sure Start, that help children set off on a good path?

There are not enough jobs because, in case you hadn't noticed, there are job cuts across the board at the moment.

I don't think for a second that the parents I see every day feel as though anyone owes them anything, they want to get jobs and support their families, but it simply isn't that easy.

I know this is falling on deaf ears, but I have to challenge your views because, to me, they come across as simplistic, ignorant and unpleasant.

Goodness maypole- it is a shame someone didn't bribe you to attend education really, isn't it?

Studies suggest 40% of fathers in Britain are raising a child that is not their's and do not realise it- it isn't the preserve of the underclasses.

You work in Social Services?!! with those judgemental attitudes?

Even if you do meet lots of people like those you describe, do you think that happened in a vacuum because these people are inherently unworthy or do you think that, maybe, there are reasons why these things are happening? Would it not be worth asking the question? What was lacking in their upbringing which made them so lacking in self-esteem and respect? Or are they just bad people?

Seriously, it's upsetting me that you have such a dim view of humanity.

Captain Nancy, I think it is 4% (1 in 25) of men are raising a child that they do not know isnt theirs (there was a thread about it the other day). 40% is almost half the population of fathers - that would be quite worrying!

maypole it is possible that your work in SS has given you a rather skewed view of our society.

OP..... I love you x

Lifeissweet

"Their parents have it really, really tough. The ones who work barely make ends meet and are juggling the children too. The ones who don't work barely get by and the children go without lots of things that my DC would take for granted (proper heating in the winter, coats that fit...that sort of thing)."

Sorry but these children all had blackberries they cost £200+
most had Adadis or Nike tracksuits £80+ don't know about you but that is not deprived their are people who work who wouldn't have enough money to buy their children those things.
If their struggling to meet ends meet they might want to sell the blackberries
These kids were not stealing food or blankets for the winter
Their parents had their kids out at stupid o clock or were their themselves bring the car round to fill the boot

"I know this is falling on deaf ears, but I have to challenge your views because, to me, they come across as simplistic, ignorant and unpleasant."

Whats unpleasant is that the lefties paid off these people then forgot them
We haven't just fallen into this economic doom these people parents have been on benefits for 16 years in some cases so why went they made to work in the boom time when their were jobs because labour were trying to pay people off for votes

I find it sicking the lefties allowed these people to fester in their own worklessnes for years and now are trying to blame the Tories, 2011 and 1980 its a joke you should just admit years of

Benefits and a wooly approach has not worked we need to be much tougher on these children parents which means get a bloody job if not voluntary work and stop having so many bloody kids you can not afford

But I guess until your town has be raised to the ground it easy to be a lefty when Hopi can go home like you said you only work their

On a slightly more serious note, the Daily Mail readers people who are on their high horse about absent parents at the moment are the same people who sound off about benefits claimants. If you are a one parent family, you often can't have it both ways.

SardineQueen. Maybe but the police have said many of these children are know to the police already and social services

But the left won't allow the police to do their job and the left won't allow ss to be much tougher on these failing parents.

Any time either try to do anything the left cry human rights and

yaimee oh so because you a single parent you shouldn't know were your 11 year old is at 3 am pull the other one

I've read some bollocks in my time but some stuff on this thread is beyond parody.

Maypole, if what you are saying is true, then why is it that in the US, where there is certainly no 'leftie dependency culture' and where the attitude is every man for themselves, they have a much bigger problem with 'the underclass'?

Oops- sorry samstown! Slight overstatement of the figures there by me then...

maypole- you mean 'razed' not raised.

Ok - assuming that everything you say is correct, Maypole, what's your solution?

For whatever reason, we have children being brought up on benefits, whose parents were also brought up on benefits. They don't have ambition or aspiration, they have been conditioned to value belongings and fame over education and achievement, they feel ignored and abandoned by society.

What's the solution then - for now.

Get tougher? Send them all to prison? Stop giving them the money they survive on? What then? They need education, compassion, new horizons to aspire to, self-esteem.

What you seem to call 'the left' are actually thinking people who are trying to solve the problems at their source, not trying to punish and judge in a way that is going to store up problems for the future.

Should we take these children into care, then? How will that set them - and us - up for the future? Particularly when the care system is such a mess.

You need to think long-term and that means asking why these things happen and moving on from there.

Plus - I don't know where you're getting these ideas from - your posts are full of sweeping statements about what the Left 'won't let' people do.

No 'leftie' has come round to tell me I can't shout at my child.
As far as I am aware, the police are still doing their jobs under some rather difficult conditions.

These 'lefties' you speak of are pretty unreasonable and powerful people. I can't say I've ever met anyone like you describe.

Maypole, I'm not really sure that's what I said, is it?
I hear that it's quite difficult to hoover and play the trombone at the same time. This does not mean that I feel that it is appropriate to play the trombone at 3am, just that I acknowledge that it is problematic to do both at the same time.

Lifeissweet the care system is a mess because of the left dogma any time a sw try's to remove a child article 8 is used bernados have been saying for a long time that children should be removed from brith and that too often we leave these children in broken families who cannot be fixed.

But for some reason the left won't have it then you end up with children in and out of care and looting at 3 am

The suggestion I have made that if your child is under 16 and is out at 3 am looting or not , you are not a good parent you either cannot control them or won't either way bad parent has already been met with left crys on here.

If that 11 on the telly who had been out at stupid o clock had been removed from birth and placed with a loving family(we have a waiting list for adoption btw) the chance of him being out at 3 am due to lack of boundaries would be less he already has previous convictions he is 11.

But carry on thinking more benefits and a listing ear is the key has it worked for the last 10 years from watching the telly NO

yaimee because the us dose have a real issue with race and it is squarely about their history with blacks
They have different employment laws ect

Different culture different context

CNN referred to Obamaa 50 birthday as a hip hop BBQ

We have a different history when it come to race here very different we have one of the largest mixed raced population in any western country

Just last year a judge refused to marry a black and White couple

He was not sacked or even told off
THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN HERE

Any who I have to go shop now in my town which they almost brunt down so I have no more instead in speaking with the criminals spokes people

I think I have to agree with Maypole. The whole thing needs to change. I know it must be horrible for the children if their parents are rubbish but I think that the women having babies with no income or support need to go into hostels. Maybe they could improve their education instead of just having another baby with another man who comes their way. This has been allowed to go on for far too long

Where did race come into this?

I don't think I ever said that we need to merely offer a 'listening ear'. I am suggesting we offer real support and real opportunities. For whatever reason we are in a situation where some children are being brought up by some parents who weren't parented properly themselves. The only way to break this cycle is with education and intervention. I don't see that taking children away and locking up the parents is going to solve anything in the longterm.

I am surprised that you don't see the need to fund social services better so that they can do the work that needs to be done. The problems are not a result of being too understanding - they are a result of not tackling the problems with proper money and resources and education.

I love that, Yaimee - and it diffused my mood somewhat. I am getting a little hot under the collar. I think I need to step away from the thread!

Lifeissweet throwing money at the issue dose not work labour tried it.

It was more benefits and more money for education Ect

The issue with dave nailed on the head is you cannot legateslate for bad parenting no amount of sure start centres will cure so mine who dose not care where their child is at one am

Unless you make these parents do things they don't work it's been proven that people who were using those types of services end up being the middle class and clued up not the poor

Personally I don't think keeping a child WITH a neglectful parent will help the child either

It's about removing the children from day dot and making sure they cannot afford to have any bloody more unless they work for it

Social services is not the issue it's the courts lefty attitude that allows the children to be placed back with the foolish parents who should be looking after a plant let alone a child

Lifeissweet fab to be so smug when you don't live in the affected areas

I wonder if you will lurch to the left after you had be brunt out of a man had been killed were you live

Lifeissweet, that's why I posted it, reading some of the post on here is upsetting me, so I've decided to laugh rather than despair.