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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

A cheeky bitch or not a cheeky bitch? That is the question...

44 replies

Thruaglassdarkly · 11/08/2011 22:14

Ok, this is more a WWYD...

I've been trying to get hold of a builder/carpenter for a couple of weeks now. He and I keep missing one another's calls. It's not urgent - I just want a quote or two and he was recommended by my decorator.

I called him back last week and he said he'd pop in on Friday sometime to see what I wanted doing. He said he'd call me before then to sort out a time.

Anyway, the kids' big trampoline arrived Friday and we spent the whole day building it, so I didn't notice my (crappy) phone battery had died. When I finally charged it, there were no missed calls from him nor messages anyway, so thought he'd just forgotton. No big deal.

Called him earlier in the week and left landline number. Still nothing. No problem - everyone's busy.

Called him again tonight - he was in a pub I think - there was a lot of background noise. This was the conversation:

Me: Hello BuilderGuy, it's Thruaglassdarkly from Chuggington.
Him: Who?
Me: (repeats first line adding...) We were supposed to meet up last Friday... (to jog his memory of who I was).
Him: Oh yeah, yeah. I tried to call you but I couldn't get through.
Me: Yeah, sorry about that, my phone was flat and I didn't realise.
Him: Can I call you tomorrow?
Me: Yeah, sure...I called you earlier in the week to leave you my landline (I said this so he knew I hadn't left it a whole week before being arsed to try to make contact with him and so he knew he could contact me that way too, as my mobile battery is very unreliable.)
Him: I'll call you in the morning then...bye...
Me: That's great, thanks. Bye.
Him: (before hanging up, off stage as it were) Cheeky bitch!

Now, he was in a pub with a lot of noise, so it felt like a stilted conversation anyway.

I'm now sat here wondering if he was referring to me! It's quite possible he'd had a few pints and misunderstood the conversation. He could've been thinking I was complaining that he hadn't called me back and he thought that I was a "cheeky bitch" for doing so because he'd tried to call me and I'd not been available etc etc. Of course, he could've been referring to someone he was with and said it in a jokey way or he was saying it about someone else. That's entirely plausible, but so is my first gut impression, that he was saying it about me. I hate it when men refer to women as "bitches", even in jest.

If it was to/about someone else, then it's none of my business if he's rude or how he behaves in his free time. But if it's about me as a potential client then it is my business. Over the last year we've had massive amounts of work done to our house and loads of builders and trademen in. I've always had a laugh and joke with them and they've always said I'm "cool" to work with, so I'm not a snotty up my arse type at all. I wonder if he took it wrongly and assumed I was, is all...

So WWYD? He's been highly recommended for his workmanship by my decorator who is the ultimate perfectionist when it comes to finish. Would you forget it, assume he wasn't talking to/about you and therefore it was none of your business and still have him over to quote? Or would you go with your suspicions - unconfirmed and paranoid as they may be - and just not bother with him? Or something else?

OP posts:

LadyThumb · 11/08/2011 22:17

Maybe he said it because you phoned him 'tonight'. Now we have mobile phones it seems to be that we think we can call anyone at anytime. Sounds as though he was just chilling and didn't want to be bothered with work while in the pub!

DogsBestFriend · 11/08/2011 22:18

If he's that good a tradesman I'd get him round for the quote, assuming that he wants the business and say, "When I called you the other day... I hope it wasn't ME you were calling a cheeky bitch!" with a big smile and watch him squirm his reaction!

Yama · 11/08/2011 22:19

Well, he's either referring to you or another woman. More than likely you I would guess. Not a nice man.

I wouldn't give him your business.

Yama · 11/08/2011 22:20

But agree with DogsBestFriend - get the quote before not giving him your business.

mouthwash7 · 11/08/2011 22:23

I think i'd find another carpenter. He was probably annoyed that you called in the evening when he's having a pint. I don't think he tried to call you back, otherwise you'd have had a missed call message. May be a bit of an alcohol fuelled comment or showing off to a friend? But he doesn't sound like he has much respect for his customers and I wouldn't want him in my house.

create · 11/08/2011 22:24

I wouldn't employ someone who doesn't return calls TBH. His friend has recommended him to you, so he's letting him down as well as you and that's before he's even given you a quote let alone started work

If I was him I would be put out that you'd called in the evening, but then if he'd called you, you wouldn't have had to!

MadamDeathstare · 11/08/2011 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 11/08/2011 22:24

Well, if you called him after 6pm... Still very unprofessional of him not to check if the call had ended before expressing his opinion .

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 11/08/2011 22:26

I would interpret that as referring to you. I wouldn't give him the work. Stupid man talking big talk with his mates in the pub. If you can bear to get a quote off him then fine, but i wouldn't take him on. There's plenty of people looking work.

If you've had lots of trades in your house recently, someone else will be able to recommend another joiner.

pictish · 11/08/2011 22:26

How rude.
Get someone else to do your carpets.

Jajas · 11/08/2011 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BirdOfPassage · 11/08/2011 22:28

He's unprofessional - would not trust him with the work.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 11/08/2011 22:29

I'd get somone else. Then when (if) he calls you explain politely that you have engaged someone else, make to hang up, then mutter (loudly) "stupid git"

MirandaGoshawk · 11/08/2011 22:29

You phoned him when he was 'off-duty' and a bit pissed and he had to switch back into 'work' mode. He wasn't impressed at your timing.

Yama · 11/08/2011 22:29

Oh, and I have dealt with many tradespeople recently and had many conversations after 6pm.

The more I think about it I do think he was referring to you. He hadn't returned your previous call so turned nasty as a defence.

porcamiseria · 11/08/2011 22:30

hmm, err on the side of caution and use someone else id say

Takitezee · 11/08/2011 22:30

I think you sounded a bit snidey.

He asked if you could call him the next day and you carried on the conversation and made the remark about having called him earlier in the week Perhaps you were saying it to show that you hadn't left a week but it could sound as though you were trying to blame him for the lack of contact.

I also agree that you shouldn't have called him in the evening.

squeakytoy · 11/08/2011 22:30

He was probably saying it to someone who he was with, who was ribbing him about his other woman being on the phone, or some other sort of banter..

CurrySpice · 11/08/2011 22:31

What time did you phone him?

ZillionChocolate · 11/08/2011 22:34

Definitely get someone else to do your carpets! Carpenters are not likely to be any good.

If he can't be bothered to give you a quote promptly and professionally I wouldn't pursue it. I have done this in the past and lived to regret it.

Original poster

Thruaglassdarkly · 11/08/2011 22:53

Thanks Ladies:-)

I called him at about 9pm, which I guess is a bit late , but still..does that make me a bitch (if it was me he meant, that is)? That said, if you call people in the day, they're usually too busy to chat. I should've called a bit earlier I guess.

(Not having carpets done - needing built in cupboards and a downstairs bathroom, all of which he does btw. Sorry for the confusion.)

Takitezee - I was worried he thought I was being snidey. In my head I wasn't being snidey with him but I felt a tiny bit guilty about the lack of contact from my side, so I might have had a twinge of defensiveness in my voice...I don't think I did, but...if I did, then it's likely it is me he meant I suppose.

Really valuable everybodies' opinions here, so thanks again loads.

OP posts:

Original poster

Thruaglassdarkly · 11/08/2011 22:55

What I mean is by calling at this time, if he had been put out and called me a bitch because of that, well he shouldn't. Totally entitled to be put out but the bitch thing...?

OP posts:

pictish · 11/08/2011 22:55

Right. 9 o'clock IS too late OP. That's why he called you a cheeky bitch.

However, a professional person would have dealt with the call graciously.
I still wouldn't hire him, with that insight into his character.

CurrySpice · 11/08/2011 22:57

Yes, it's too late and a bit cheeky. The bitch bit was added for effect for his mates is my guess.

MagicFingerGoesPop · 11/08/2011 22:58

As an aside, what on earth made you think it was ok to call a tradie at 9pm?

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