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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

A cheeky bitch or not a cheeky bitch? That is the question...

44 replies

Thruaglassdarkly · 11/08/2011 22:14

Ok, this is more a WWYD...

I've been trying to get hold of a builder/carpenter for a couple of weeks now. He and I keep missing one another's calls. It's not urgent - I just want a quote or two and he was recommended by my decorator.

I called him back last week and he said he'd pop in on Friday sometime to see what I wanted doing. He said he'd call me before then to sort out a time.

Anyway, the kids' big trampoline arrived Friday and we spent the whole day building it, so I didn't notice my (crappy) phone battery had died. When I finally charged it, there were no missed calls from him nor messages anyway, so thought he'd just forgotton. No big deal.

Called him earlier in the week and left landline number. Still nothing. No problem - everyone's busy.

Called him again tonight - he was in a pub I think - there was a lot of background noise. This was the conversation:

Me: Hello BuilderGuy, it's Thruaglassdarkly from Chuggington.
Him: Who?
Me: (repeats first line adding...) We were supposed to meet up last Friday... (to jog his memory of who I was).
Him: Oh yeah, yeah. I tried to call you but I couldn't get through.
Me: Yeah, sorry about that, my phone was flat and I didn't realise.
Him: Can I call you tomorrow?
Me: Yeah, sure...I called you earlier in the week to leave you my landline (I said this so he knew I hadn't left it a whole week before being arsed to try to make contact with him and so he knew he could contact me that way too, as my mobile battery is very unreliable.)
Him: I'll call you in the morning then...bye...
Me: That's great, thanks. Bye.
Him: (before hanging up, off stage as it were) Cheeky bitch!

Now, he was in a pub with a lot of noise, so it felt like a stilted conversation anyway.

I'm now sat here wondering if he was referring to me! It's quite possible he'd had a few pints and misunderstood the conversation. He could've been thinking I was complaining that he hadn't called me back and he thought that I was a "cheeky bitch" for doing so because he'd tried to call me and I'd not been available etc etc. Of course, he could've been referring to someone he was with and said it in a jokey way or he was saying it about someone else. That's entirely plausible, but so is my first gut impression, that he was saying it about me. I hate it when men refer to women as "bitches", even in jest.

If it was to/about someone else, then it's none of my business if he's rude or how he behaves in his free time. But if it's about me as a potential client then it is my business. Over the last year we've had massive amounts of work done to our house and loads of builders and trademen in. I've always had a laugh and joke with them and they've always said I'm "cool" to work with, so I'm not a snotty up my arse type at all. I wonder if he took it wrongly and assumed I was, is all...

So WWYD? He's been highly recommended for his workmanship by my decorator who is the ultimate perfectionist when it comes to finish. Would you forget it, assume he wasn't talking to/about you and therefore it was none of your business and still have him over to quote? Or would you go with your suspicions - unconfirmed and paranoid as they may be - and just not bother with him? Or something else?

OP posts:

ForkInTheForeheid · 11/08/2011 22:59

9pm is a ridiculous time to call someone about business. I don't think it's a great indictment on his character that he called you a cheeky bitch, it obviously wasn't meant for your ears. If you'd been a bloke he probably would've said cheeky bastard or some such. It's entirely down to you and your feelings whether you still want to do business with him but I don't think this one incident should write him off as a person or as a workman.

Original poster

Thruaglassdarkly · 11/08/2011 23:02

Magic - lots of the guys who did my extension liked you to call them later in the evening as they'd come home, have tea and go out on quotes most of the nights. Have met a lot of trades people in the last year who operate on that basis, so just got in the habit I guess. My plumber used to get annoyed with me if I called while he was still at work (which would be 9ish still) and tell me he'd call me when he got home about 10 ish.

OP posts:

Groovee · 11/08/2011 23:02

He shouldn't have called you a bitch but you were unreasonable to call him at 9pm. My dh doesn't answer calls at that time of night on his mobile as customers seem to think he should be available 24/7 and he needs down time. In future call at a more reasonable time.

And I once did call a customer of his a stupid cow as she tried to make out he had told her he was off down the pub when he left the job at 4pm as there was nothing he could do as the gas board hadn't turned up and at 6pm on a Friday he dared to sit down to a family meal and he had told her he finished at 4pm and wouldn't be back at work til Monday at 7am.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 11/08/2011 23:23

Ah, but had he called OP back when he was supposed to she would not have called him at 9pm.

I guess it is poss slightly Unreasonable to call at 9pm, BUT if you are a tradesman I would guess you should either a) have a mobile specifically for work that you don't answer after whatever you deem suitable hours, or b) don't answer your mobile at such times, unless it is someone you know or c) don't give people your mobile no.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 11/08/2011 23:52

YABU to call a tradesman before 9am or after 6pm or anytime on weekends unless it's an emergency (burst pipe, etc). unless they have expressly asked you to call 'out of hours'.

If you'd texted him you would have given him the opportunity to call or text you back at his convenience; as it is, your call ensured that 'work' crashed into his downtime.

Cheeky mare... does that sound better?

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA · 11/08/2011 23:57

I think if he has a rep for doing a good job you should just get over it - do as DBF suggested :)

Gillg57 · 12/08/2011 00:00

9.00p.m. !!! Way too late. I'd take the hint that he doesn't want the work anyway. My Dad could never say no to a job. He used to just be unavailable until they got fed up calling him. My Mum used to get very annoyed lying on his behalf - sorry he's not in - when he was sat in front of the tele .

Original poster

Thruaglassdarkly · 12/08/2011 00:25

Izzy and Gill - assuming now he did mean me being the cheeky bitch. This wasn't an AIBU as I stated in the OP but a WWYD. I don't see how it's professional or acceptable to say that about someone bitch or mare - (in earshot) who is a potential client. I hadn't been rude, nasty or unpleasant. I might have called out of his timeframe to receive work calls but wouldn't have done if I'd had any luck getting hold of him in the daytime. I'm afraid it's cost him the job in that case. He can think what he likes about me but he should be more careful what he actually says.

OP posts:

empirestateofmind · 12/08/2011 00:38

I can't imagine giving work to someone who has been so difficult to get hold of and so rude (even if I had phoned them too late). It would be too awkward and I would not feel able to trust them.

I think you have done the right thing.

Original poster

Thruaglassdarkly · 12/08/2011 00:42

I just think, when I was self-employed for a while, if people called me at 9pm wanting to book my services I'd be pleased, not referring to them as cheeky bitches...

TBH I think the comment was less about the time I called and more because he thought I was being snidey about him NOT calling.

The OP wasn't about whether or not I was a cheeky bitch but wwyd if you thought someone you were giving work to had called you this but you weren't sure.

Thanks again to everyone who took the trouble to respond. Great replies and I'll certainly not be calling people at 9 again as will take on board your ideas about appropriate timing.

OP posts:

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 12/08/2011 01:28

If his reputation for excellent craftsmanship preceded him and I couldn't be absolutely certain that his 'cheeky bitch' comment was about me, I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

Tortington · 12/08/2011 01:33

honey....im sure - he called you a cheeky bitch

so get another builder

ring him up and say 'oh hello mr builder its mrs x the cheeky bitch who no longer requires your services'

and on check a trade im going to tell everyone not to count on you to be very reliable. cos im a cheeky bitch like that

MadamDeathstare · 12/08/2011 01:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

garlicbutter · 12/08/2011 01:39

This has got nothing to do with whether you're cheeky, or a bitch, or BU!! He can't be arsed to return phone calls or even do your quote. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be relying on him to do paid work.

Bin him. When he finally rings to arrange your quote, tell him he's too late - and add, just as you hang up, "cjeeky twat".

empirestateofmind · 12/08/2011 05:16

garlicbutter

Original poster

Thruaglassdarkly · 12/08/2011 15:14

Ha ha...have a guess...he didn't call ...

Tosser.

OP posts:

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 12/08/2011 15:21

Well, cheeky bitch comment aside he sounds very unreliable and obviously doesnt want the contract. My DH is a decorator, his brother a carpenter and they wouldnt act like that..........I would forget him and get a quote elsewhere!

aquashiv · 12/08/2011 15:23

Dont use him, he is hardly keen for your businesss is he?

TimothyClaypoleLover · 12/08/2011 15:35

OP, you called him at 9pm. I would not want a work call at 9pm if I was out with friends or even just sat at home. YABU. I doubt he meant to say cheeky bitch in a nasty way, he was probably just astounded and said it in a flippant way because of the time you called.

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