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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

... To skip my smear test?

72 replies

chickenchops · 10/08/2011 13:50

I know I probably am but-

3 months ago I suffered from a very trumatic birth. Both physically and emotionally. I'm feeling pretty devastated and violated. Which I'm getting help for to work through.

Letter came from the dr today to say I need a smear test. 18 months ago it was abnormal. A year ago it was normal but they need to recheck it now due to previous abnormal result.

I know how important it is to screened but the thought of anyone examining me and putting a speculum in leaves me wanting to vomit.

What do I do?

OP posts:

AuntieMonica · 10/08/2011 19:40

sorry to OP, i hadn't replied to you

would going to a women's health centre help at all? but what FutureNannyOgg is fabulous

but please DO go, it's a few mins out of your life, and could well preserve the rest of it

sidewaysburger · 10/08/2011 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

AngelDelightIsFab · 10/08/2011 19:57

If not for yourself, then think of taking care of your child's mother. He/She needs you and if your health is compromised because of this (quite legitimate, mind you) temporary blip on your female region radar, then how awful would that be? Would you rather be anxious for a day or worst case scenario your child not have their mother? Please go and take someone with you who can help. Good luck -hugs-.

NotEnoughTime · 10/08/2011 20:03

Hi chickenchops

Its strange as Im in the same position as you. I have got my smear booked for next tues and im bricking it scared.

I was sexually abused as a child over many years by my father but thats another thread in itself and consequently I have terrible problems with vaginsmus, panic attacks, anxiety etc . FFS I cant even use a tampon, pathetic I know.

I always get given Temazepam before I go for a smear which "takes the edge off" a bit-could you ask for some of that perhaps?

I always feel very vulnerable when Im having it done (and although obviously its done with my consent) it brings back very horrible memories. Also I do find it painful (although this may be because I tense up so much) BUT the alternative of not going and then perhaps getting cervical cancer and leaving my kids with no Mum makes me go through with it EVERY time.

Good luck to you (and me!) chickenchops.

Treat yourself to a large or or or poison of your choice afterwards, I know I will

Huffythetantrumslayer · 10/08/2011 20:03

Have reported shanishous as well. Completely vile. Op I'm sorry i don't know the answer. I hope you get a couple of months before you need to go and maybe ask for some counselling to help with the trauma. Fwiw I finally had my smear recently and ds is 20months. It was fine. I know that's it much help, hope it all goes well.

Lizcat · 10/08/2011 20:11

Hopefully the person you need to speak to will call you tomorrow.
I had an awful delivery - stubborn difficult child - I was called for my smear at 3months after delivery. I had a chat with my female GP who told me that after the delivery I had had I would have abnormal cells and it would be difficult to interpret and to leave it at least 6 months after delivery before having a smear.
I did feel much better by that time and actually it was much better than pre-baby smears, I guess it was all a bit more stretched.

flossymuldoon · 10/08/2011 20:22

I so totally understand. I skipped a smear due 3 years ago and only finally went about a month ago - 6 1/2 years after my last.

I had 3 failed IVFs in quick succession. Almost daily internal ultrasounds for all 3 and all cycles were double the length that they should have been. They were all extremely painful and then I went through the worst pain i have ever had in my life for the last egg collection.

Partly because it was all very traumatic for me, and probably having to come to terms with never having children of my own. I just couldn't face anyone messing with me anymore.

Having said i understand, i know i should have gone and i felt guilty for the whole 3 years that i didn't go.
I did finally go a month after my adopted son was placed with me. However scared i was (and i couldn't breath properly and wanted to sob the whole time) i felt that i had a responsibility to make sure that i kept myself healthy as this little boy was relying on me to be there as his Mum.

Good luck!!!!

Also, good luck NotEnoughTime!!

NotEnoughTime · 10/08/2011 20:25

Thanks flosseymuldoon Im going to need it

firstforthought · 10/08/2011 20:47

I never had one pre-dc, some kind of wierd phobia. I just could not do it. Have been tryong to book one but never got around to it. Then 9 months ago I had 2nd dc and suffered a 4th degree tear and didn't know how I was ever going to get one. Absoulutely felt sick at the idea! Fast forward to 9 moths after dc's birth and I forced myself to get one. The Nurse was brilliant and i inserted the speculum myself and then it was fine. I made myself attend that appointment with my children in mind and that is was for their sake as well as mine. Please book that appointment - and attend! Good Luck!
P.S I was very proud of myself and you will be too/

BikeRunSki · 10/08/2011 20:50

Please go. Please, please go, do whatever you need to do to make yourself go.

My sister picked up early cancerous cells on a smear test, early enough to do something about it, and she has been fine since (about 5 years ago this was).

lisalisa · 10/08/2011 20:55

I am another one who is absolutely terrified to the point of phobia about this. I now hav eto have one as I have had bleeding mid cycle ( I have had my tubes tied recently so think it is related to this but docs need to be sure). The hints on this thread are very helpful especially about lifting your bum up an dasking for different type of speculum but wanted to ask about valium. CAn yuou drive and go about your normal day wit hthis and look after a baby too? Does it just calm you a bit or does it knowk you out or make you gaga?c

mummymeister · 10/08/2011 21:49

I dont know of a single woman who looks forward to her smear or even feels ambivalent about it. drs and nurses all know this and are v understanding. mine have come up with a load of tips specifically to help me over the years so whilst i still dread and hate them i do go every year and get it over with. every woman on here who has replied to you but hasnt been when called ought to ring up and book one tomorrow. then when you go you will know theres loads of other mnetters out there standing/lying down in solidarity with you!

TotalChaos · 10/08/2011 21:59

my first smear wasn't a great experience (retroverted uterus and incompetent HCP). when I explained all this to GP, she was great, she did the second smear herself and did an internal first, so she knew the ahem lie of the land, so to speak, so the smear itself was over very quickly.

edwinbear · 10/08/2011 22:05

Please go. I can relate to this, pre DS I had such a fear of smears that I have fainted after one, and on a separate occasion vomited in the Dr's sink afterwards . I had bleeding problems in pregnancy and needed several speculum exams to check my cervix and on a couple of occasions I was so tense they couldn't physically insert the speculum.

I had a dreadful birth with DS, forceps, manual removal of placenta, external tears and and internal tear from entrance up to my cervix, they took an hour in theatre stitching me up and I now have an anterior and posterior prolapse. I still agonise over the birth every single day, 2 years later.

You can imagine how I reacted when I was called for my post birth smear with my previous fear and newly diagnosed prolapse. However, it was absolutely fine, it was totally, totally different to pre birth smears, I barely felt it and these days I merrily trot in as and when necessary without giving it a second thought. Honestly, it really will be fine, please, please go.

Steph260311 · 10/08/2011 22:30

Hi OP glad you're getting help so soon for your traumatic birth experience. Maybe you could set yourself a sensible but achievable deadline for your smear for example delaying by 3 months. That way you might be feeling a little better after your help (I'm assuming it's counselling?). I had a coil fitted 7 weeks after giving birth and was nearly sick with nerves beforehand but it was not horrendous and was much quicker than before giving birth.

I was on a 6 month recall for abnormal smears for about 3 or 4 years until they miraculously went normal again and did try to put them off sometimes as I got sick of people prodding and poking.

It sounds like a good idea taking something to calm you down before but are you breastfeeding and would you still be able to take something if so? Also, you may feel that being fully conscious and in control and fully informed of what is happening/about to happen could make you feel more able to cope with the smear.

Good luck with whatever decision you make and I hope you have an agreeable outcome from the conversation with the nurse tomorrow.

NoobyNoob · 11/08/2011 07:43

Sorry, but I'm not going to sugar cot my posts.

You know how important it is.

My birth was far from rosy, and I'm not going to go into it. However, being told that I have carcinoma-in-situ, having to have endless biopsies, a LLETZ treatment and a cone biopsy and being - quite frankly - scared shitless about never seeing my son or DH again.....

I hope it goes well for you, I do. But also, this is AIBU. You knew you'd get some 'tough love' replies surely?!

ZonkedOut · 11/08/2011 08:26

I was told not to have a smear until 6 months after giving birth because it can take a while to settle down and can give abnormal results if done too early. Best check that, it would be horrid if that happened after all you've been through.

Good luck!

Chandon · 11/08/2011 08:28

I had this exact same situation, and I waited a few more months.

Just couldn't face it before.

Gonzo33 · 11/08/2011 08:42

OP I have not read the other responses in full, but please please go. I hate having smears, but when I was 21 I forced myself to go and thank god I did because they found cancerous cells and I had to have laser treatment. If I had left it longer it could have been worse.

My friend put hers off and has had to have half her cervix cut away.

If you cannot face it on your own please take someone with you or call before and make arrangements for another nurse to sit with you.

I know it must be awful to have to do this after your terrible experience, but it could be so much worse.

Oh I want to give you a big hug

BallerinaBetty · 11/08/2011 08:48

I've not read all of the thread but please please go. I do understand - I had a very traumatic birth with dc1 that resulted in PTSD. Added to that I had an undiagnosed medical condition which makes sex painful anyway. I didnt have sex with dh for FIVE years after dc1. Didnt go for a smear until the Alma storyline in Corrie - then plucked up courage to go see a lovely dr who - I kid you not - listened to me then arranged for another dr to come to the surgery to cover and spent the whole morning with me before doing the smear. She also referred me to a consultant who diagnosed my condition.

Now - when I have smears I take strong painkillers beforehand (and I mean STRONG!). I use hypnotherapy techniques so dont need the tranquilisers any more. And I ask for a small speculum.

Please please go. Just think of it as a few minutes out of your day and then make sure you have something relaxing to look forward to. PM me if you want to talk more and take care.

Itchywoolyjumper · 11/08/2011 10:32

Oh Chickenchops, you poor thing.
It is important that you go for the smear test but you also have to take care of your mental health as well. No proper HCP will want to traumatise you any further.
There's some really good advice on here, especially talking to your GP and the person who will be taking the smear beforehand. You could also try Family Planning or Sexual Health clinics. I work in this kind of area and the staff there tend to be carrying out speculum examinations multiple times a day and are pretty well practiced at it. We have also have come across plenty of traumatised folk and are well trained to help you out. We're also very nice :)
PM if you want a chat.

Dignified · 11/08/2011 10:57

Chicken , ive had a very similar experience and as a result didnt have a smear test for over 10 years . I knew i was pushing my luck health wise but simply couldnt bear the thought of it .I would feel ill , shaky , and tearfull if the issue was pushed . I eventually went to the family planning clinic for a contraceptive issue and the female docter there obviously raised it .

I explained and she was loveley , suggesting i pop back simply to have a chat and to get familiar with the place , and her . If i didnt want it done , fine , no pressure . I did that , and she would loveley , never pressured me or went on about health issues . I eventually got it done , wasnt pleasant , but much easier done by someone i had built up some trust with , by this stage i could actually have a bit of a laugh with her , so she had become a person instad of a medical proffesional .

Perhaps when you are ready you could do something similar , dont rush it if you feel it would cause you even more upset . Also do consider contacting the birth trauma association or asking to look at your notes . I feel for you , its no joke .

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