... To skip my smear test?

[chickenchops]

I know I probably am but-

3 months ago I suffered from a very trumatic birth. Both physically and emotionally. I'm feeling pretty devastated and violated. Which I'm getting help for to work through.

Letter came from the dr today to say I need a smear test. 18 months ago it was abnormal. A year ago it was normal but they need to recheck it now due to previous abnormal result.

I know how important it is to screened but the thought of anyone examining me and putting a speculum in leaves me wanting to vomit.

What do I do?

Yes, in this case support is more helpful when combined with telling this woman to go and have a smear. Interesting you choose to use the sneering "huns" here...

The nature of where the OP is at is that she is feeling a lot of trauma about what has happened to her female reproductive organs in a medical context and meeting that with descriptions of potential further trauma really isn't a recipe for reducing anxiety. She needs to manage her anxiety in order to go to this appointment.

It's not rocket science to see why graphic descriptions of negative outcomes are counterproductive here.

YABU.

If you've already had an abnormal smear test you should know better. You know how important it is, so just go and get it done.

You know you need to go, but I completely understand your reluctance.

12 weeks post delivery is the earliest you should attend for a smear.

Make an appointment with the nicest nurse or doctor. Explain that you need a double appt so you can all take your time. Maybe see the GP before your smear appt to ask for sedation but with the right preparation and support you might not need it.

Take a friend, partner, someone you trust. Practice some deep breathing and relaxation exercises. A good practitioner should explain the process as they go along if you want to, so there are no surprises. There is no reason a smear should hurt but I appreciate they can be uncomfortable and the stretching part can be unpleasant for some women.

As all advice above.

Please go. They are uncomfortable, but a good doctor/nurse should be as gentle as possible, and try to make it as painless as possible.

I don't like having a smear, but have done every 3 years since I was 17 because I would hate my DCs to grow up without their Mum more.

GO-it doesn't make any sense not to-sometimes you just have to get over how you feel and concentrate on the big picture.

Well, I called the surgery to let them know I've just given birth. The women I need to speak to had gone home for the day. I am hoping they will call tomorrow and say I need to leave it for a few months yet to let hormones settle etc. I am not letting myself freak out until I've heard back. I know I really really need to but really can't see how I'll be able to.

Thank you to those of you who provided gentle reassurance snd support.

To those of you who believe it "tough love", I pray you never have a birth that leaves you a hollow shell of who you once were- one who is scared to even be touched by your husband and struggles to get through each day. Because although you'd understand then why someone opening your vagina up with a piece of plastic is the most horrific thing you could have done to you right now, I wouldn't wish this on you.

Fuck off to another thread

i wish you'd post in 'pedant's corner', shanishous

i'm not qualified to correct your grammar or spellings

OP - I'm sorry some posters have been so insensitive.

Well done for phoning. I had my first smear after having DC1 a few months ago (about 12 months after the birth). I did not have a traumatic birth but I was very nervous about it because of scarring etc. In truth, it was the easiest one I have had. I told the nurse beforehand about my concerns and she was really reassuring.

sidge has given some good advice I think.

Please do go.

WRT your birth experience, you are doing really well to be getting help with your issues at this stage. 3 months is still really early after the birth so give yourself time to work through everything - you won't feel this way forever.

Reported the comment above.

Chickenchops speak to your GP and explain your situation and ask if it really does need to be now. If it does then it probably won't be nearly as bad as you think it will be - as others have said ask for diazepam, get it over with and treat yourself to a vat of gin coffee & cake afterwards.

shanishous - you are being utterly vile. do fuck off and take your issues out on someone else.

hahahaha!!

i think that's known as a 'fail'

Well that's very helpful shanishous ffs give the op a bit of slack! Op speak to your nurse or gp and tell them your situation, they will make allowances to make it easier for you, but you know you need to go.

FWIW I not adverse to a bit of tough love but sometimes a bit decorum I called for.

your body, your choice

Please go. I had an abnormal smear just before I was pregnant with DS1. At my 6 week check I had another abnormal smear and had to have laser treatment at 3 months after birth for level 3 (highest) pre cancerous abnormalities. You need to look after yourself for your sake and your new family.

shanishous has been popping up all over on various threads in a similar vein. I think reporting then ignoring is best.

So take a bag to vomit in. Better that than not go! It'll be fine, honestly. No one likes them but they're really important.

I actually found mine less traumatic after DD1 - and hers was a very traumatic labour (37h after being induced at 36 weeks). I figured that I had lost all my dignity anyway, and what could possibly be worse than a ventouse???

Seriously though, you might find it's really not as bad as you think it's going to be. I also have a retroverted uterus so smears are always uncomfortable (until they invented smaller speculums, yay for those) and those since giving birth have not been half as bad as before.

Good luck

birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/
Firstly, go here, get info, act on as much as you can.
Secondly, go to your GP, tell them you are having issues dealing with birth trauma, get on the waiting list for counselling. Explain about the smear, they have met this before, a good GP doesn't want you to get psychologically damaged having a routine test, but they will help you find a way to deal with it.
Thirdly, talk to people about how you feel. Your friends, your partner, hell, send me a message if you like. Keep telling the story, it helps you come to terms with it.
Fourthly, ignore the people being unhelpful on here. Birth trauma is a very real problem, and it can have serious knock on effects on your quality of life. Making threats of death and illness to coerce you into having a procedure that you can't psychologically handle is damaging. It is ill thought out, please ignore it.

hope you manage to go