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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

When I say I don't want my photo taken

37 replies

bananapirate · 08/08/2011 19:41

Please listen and understand that when I see a picture of myself I just want to cry
And then please fgs don't put the bloody thing up on facebook.
I know you love me and don't care about how I look, put please respect me when I ask you not to take my photo,

OP posts:

Islandlady · 08/08/2011 20:27

I am the same - in the flesh I dont look too bad but every photo of me looks like I fell out of the ugly tree - and hit every branch on the way down

So what does my DH do, puts a photo of me on his facebook page, for my SISTER to find and show to her new BF (before I met him) and then said sister gleefully tells me that her BF said I look HOMELY ffs.

I have told my DH that the next picture of HIM that I post on facebook will be the inside of his arse as I am going to shove the camera up there.

Know just how you feel.

BitOfFun · 08/08/2011 20:29

Oh I hate this too. It's difficult to stop it though- but I do sympathise.

LineRunner · 08/08/2011 20:30

I am naturally lovely if I look in the mirror at a certain angle with just the right shadows crossing my chin, but every photograph taken of me suggests I am, in truth, hideous.

Is this a syndrome?

NattersAndMutters · 08/08/2011 20:32

What is worse is when your friends (friends, pah!) reassure you that it's a really good photograph of you. I'm still clinging to the "unphotogenic" theory, I don't want to be told that I really look like that, thanks, :(

squeakytoy · 08/08/2011 20:33

I can understand the facebook thing, but my mum always hated having her photo taken, and now she has died, I have very few photos of her. Photos are a lasting memory for people after we have gone.

LineRunner · 08/08/2011 20:34

That's it! Unphotogenic Syndrome. We is victims, innit.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 08/08/2011 20:36

I used to be like this.

Hated having my photo taken, would hit the roof, hid from cameras.

Then it occurred to me - people can see me. They look at me. They know what I look like! I look like that. And they don't care. It doesn't matter. There's nothing a camera does that changes me! People look at a picture of me and say hey, a photo of Bathy...

And I lost my fear of cameras.

It was very liberating, it really was. To accept myself.

I'm sure you are lovely. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

MacGuffin · 08/08/2011 20:42

DSil posted several very unflattering pics of me at a party on Facebook about 6 months ago - they were deliberately awful and i know this because i saw what she had on her camera the next day and there were some nice ones of me having a laugh etc. and generally not looking too bad - they were strangely absent on FB. I untagged myself pretty quickly. Then DBil "joked" that she'd put them up deliberately - he's the sort of chap who blurts the truth out iyswim.

She's just lovely....

MynameisnotEarl · 08/08/2011 20:44

I absolutely hated having my photo taken when I was in my teens (thought I looked hideous). Now I'm very sad I have no pictures of (actually lovely) me between the ages of 13 and 20 at all.

I still find it hard to smile in photos so I'll probably be remembered as a sour faced old grump.

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA · 08/08/2011 20:45

I understand it - I hate having my photo taken, but then so does my best friend and we have about 8 photos of us together in over 20 years and 4 of those are on her wedding day - that makes me really sad. I also have very few photos of her on her own, with her kids, with her DH etc as I know she hates it so much... even she recently commented that she would like a nice one of us together (not do-able right now as she lives overseas and neither of us want a computer generated one).

In light of this, I have started to be less anti when a camera comes out - even though I still hate how incredibly FAT I look :(

ChumleeIsMyHomeboy · 08/08/2011 20:45

Absolutely sympathise. Any picture of me has to be photoshopped to within an inch of it's life so as not to frighten small children and nervous animals. My friends know not to even try!

ClaireDeLoon · 08/08/2011 20:46

Oh I sympathise I hate pics of me and I hate people taking awful pics of me and 'tagging' me with them on fb. It's awful to put pics of people anywhere without their permission.

MacGuffin · 08/08/2011 20:50

Having been with Dh since we were 16 - we still think of each other as being young. Recent holiday pics appeared to reveal a chubby woman and a middle aged man came with us - no idea who they are.....

Shutupanddrive · 08/08/2011 20:51

If someone tags you in a photo on Facebook, then you can click on it and untag it then none of your friends can see it. And YANBU

squeakytoy · 08/08/2011 20:52

They can see it, if they are friends with the person who has put the photo up, but it cant be name tagged again.

Merlotmonster · 08/08/2011 21:32

macGuffin.......Hilarious comment !! I have a similar problem....damn those middle aged stalkers.....

ThePopsicleKat · 08/08/2011 21:39

Oh god, I know how you feel! I HATE pictures, I really do. Most of my friends respect this, but there is always the odd one who thinks he's being funny by taking one anyway.
I recently had to got through it for my uni graduation though. The official photos came the other day, I dared sneak a peak at one and wished I hadn't. I thought it would get better after losing a considerable amount of weight, but I still can't bear it.

I suspect one day I will really regret not having any pictures of me in my teens, but right now I just avoid them as much as possible.

gallicgirl · 08/08/2011 21:53

YABU

I can sympathise when it comes to facebook but a lot of photos are about documenting life and establishing memories. My DP and his family hate having their photo taken and as a result I have only 1 photo of DD with them. Also I had to beg DP to take photos of me while pregnant. He just doesn't get it. If anything happened to him, God forbid, I have hardly any photos to show his daughter.

However YANBU to ask people not to tag you in photos on facebook.

LolaRennt · 08/08/2011 22:05

Gallicgirl, dh not taking photos for family and children is a bit unfair (although if it really makes him uncomfortable you should respect his wishes) but what the OP is a bit different. I know you can untag things but some people feel horrible even knowing they are out there. You know those photos that make the rounds, candid photos of strangers looking ugly/fat/drunk/stupid? I always worry someone will see a pic of me and it will end up "out there"

BulletWithAName · 08/08/2011 22:14

I like having my picture taken if I can control the angle at which it is taken, I have a big thing about my nose(even though I've had 3 nose jobs) and I get upset if someone tags a horrible picture of me. One of my mates won't take one down even though I asked her really nicely, she just says 'Oh you look fine'- but I don't, my nose looks hideous! YANBU!

ChumleeIsMyHomeboy · 08/08/2011 22:16

3 nose jobs?? Wow - and it's still not right? Wow. That's all.

timidviper · 08/08/2011 22:22

Don't worry ladies, I have this figured out. They don't make cameras like they used to! I have even figured out when they introduced this, around the late 80s which I realised recently when looking for a photo to ut on a profile and the most recent one I liked was 1987. Up until this change I looked lovely on photos, after it I look too old, too fat or both. I haven't quite tracked down the reason for this conspiracy on the part of camera manufacturers but the proof is out there for all to see on the few pics that escape my censorship.

BulletWithAName · 08/08/2011 22:22

Unfortunately, I had a badly deviated septum, couldn't breathe through my nose because the inside was so twisted, and I've inherited my dad's lopsided nostrils. It looks okay now, but it'll never look how I really want it to, it's not possible.

gallicgirl · 08/08/2011 22:34

@lola It's a fair point and I know what you mean. I always wonder who can see photos of me on fb just because I keep mine private, it doesn't mean my friends do!

ScaredOfCows · 08/08/2011 22:36

Another here who hates photos, although I put up with them for family. But I hate, hate, hate people who feel the need to shove a camera in your face at every fecking opportunity - my brother-in-law has a friend who fancies himself as an amateur photographer. He is an absolute menace!

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