Children's table manners

[atosilis]

My old university friend came to visit for a week this month with her 2 daughters (9 & 7). Every meal was a warzone. They couldn't use cutlery, every thing was picked up and eaten with fingers - after it had been sniffed. If they didn't like something they'd pretend to be sick and make gagging noises. Actually sitting didn't happen; kneeling, standing and fidgeting were the main activities. I could go on but I can't have her to stay with me again. AIBU?

I must admit to being a bit of a stickler for good manners at table. I noticed last Christmas that at school, on a table of 10 children, 6 were holding their knives and forks in the wrong hands and two couldn't use a knife at all. I couldnt understand what was going on until I spoke to then and it turned out that they ate most of their meals sitting on the sofa and needed one hand to hold the plate/bowl and held their fork in their right hand. Very depressing.

My stepchildren are all right-handed, but eat with their cutlery in the "wrong" hands.. so long as they know how to use cutlery and can eat without spraying food everywhere, it really doesnt bother me.

As for eating in front of the tv, off your knee, using fingers (with food that is compatible, ie pizza, chicken drumsticks), then again, that doesnt bother me either providing when they are at the table, they know how to behave and do so.

It's not just children for me, anyone who slurps their tea or talks with their mouth full makes me want to vomit. Adults are as guilty of bad manners as children.

Gross - vomits.

I think children should know the correct way to use the tools of eating. Holding then incorrectly drives me nuts, but more depressing are those children who are unaware that their is a correct way!

Using a knife and fork is one of the things we have been told by the school that they expect all RECEPTION aged children to be able to do - they have compulsary school dinners. If 4 yr olds (unless SN) can do it then its very lazy parenting at 9 and 7. However, I allow a bit of fidgeting as I was a fidgety child that has turned into a fidgety adult - makes you thin fidgeting .

there..... Not "their"

its laziness, on the part of the parents, they were not corrected lazytoy.

All my DC hold their knife and fork in the wrong hand. This is down to my fucking tosspot DH who also does this and swears blind that he should be able to do it as he likes. We spent at least the first five years of our marriage fighting over laying the cutlery on the table, he has taught the children to eat like him which they initially did to annoy me and now it is ingrained. Total knob.

I can see two sides on this one.
My own upbringing was a very strict one,including where table manners were concerned.My father would be very critical of me and constantly bark instructions at me during mealtimes from a very early age "sit still! don't tear your food! where's your napkin! etc etc
this would be all through my childhood,hence i never really enjoyed mealtimes and developed food issues and a "phobia" of eating in front of other people which i have only just got over.
I realise this is an extreme example but just wanted to share my experiences

til i left home every meal was eaten in front of the tv . only at christmas were we allowed in the dining room, for one meal. when i left home i was clueless and used to watch other people eat, find books on how to - its a big social thing and i used to be invited out a lot to very smart restaurants. dh still does:) people are very snobby at table manners and grade you and your social class accordingly.

a friend of mine filmed herself and family eating and played it back - she also had her dd eat in front of a mirror once to stop her eating with her mouth open...