Calling all ex-wifes - AIBU

[Mumofjz]

to think my DH ex wife shouldn't have stayed sat/talking with the immediate family for the whole day at a family function, then go onto a restaurant with said family whilst DH and i felt a bit pee'd off at it

I think it's a bit odd too OP and I would be pretty put out by it. YANBU.

Although, to be fair, I can't think of anything worse than going to a party and sitting beside my former MIL.

Clearly the relationship is no longer labelled with daughter in law or sister in law. They just must like her.

Well if there are no children & MIL sees her often, it does seem odd not only to invite, but too then spend so long with her & not her own son.

DH nephews Christening, i was a godparent. And yes she knew plenty other people there, that was why intially everyone thought it wouldn't be a problem. I expected she would be with MIL for a time, not ALL the time!
DH has sinced spoke with parents and everything ok, thanks for the support from so few and the opinions of so many :)

Well, MIL could have got up and talked to others, it was between her and the ex to do so. Seriously, it's nothing to do with you or your DH, and both you and he should remember that he once loved her enough to marry her and welcome her into his family.

But you haven't said why you didn't go and join in the conversation.

Often at these dos you have people that flit about and others that stay in deep conversation having a chat and catch up.
When I have been engrossed a third party normally comes up and says 'can I join you, what you up to'

YANBU. Speaking as an ex-wife and a second wife I think that once you are divorced, things do, and should, change. There are times when you are all going to be in the same room, especially if you have children, but people should have consideration for EVERYONES feelings. OP you said your DH's ex knew lots of people at the function, therefore she should of mingled and not sat with your MIL all day. Your IL's should have also mingled with you, they must know it is an awkward situation for you. They certainly should not of invited the ex to the restaurant and not their son, no matter how good the relationship they should not of put her feelings over their sons. Everyone gets on in my ex relationship but I won't go to a family function, even though we have children together. I don't think it's appropriate and people have to move on. We were together 20 years, his family were closer to me than my own, but I wouldn't want to put his new wife through what you have had to deal with.

Thank GOD for a bit of common sense from kitty and bluebell...when you have been battered half to death OP by the thought police, the absurd party line. I despair of this inane shit!

YANBU to have been pissed off. Of course you aren't! ffs, who is this bint and what on earth was she doing there, hogging the MIL. It was bad grace, bad manners, ignorant. Your MIL was ignorant to have allowed it. you are being perfectly reasonable to have felt very uncomfortable. I am an exW and there is no way I would step on the toes of the current wife.

Bollocks. The only times ex and current wives should have a problem are when one of them is being poisonous to the other, or when the DH left one wife for the other. Apart from that, surely everyone is perfectly capable of being civilised and getting on with each other.

It was the PILs call whether or not to invite her, and as one of their guests she was perfectly entitled to be there. Which means you both should have been gracious and mature enough to be ok with that.

Guess in every relationship past and present the dynamic is different.

Maybe the MIL was pleased she had the exW to talk to then she didn't have to talk to the OP? Who Knows?

The only time when I've seen some one uncomfortable was BIL was at a funneral and my SIL was there with new bloke who has a loud booming voice and made himself very much at home at the wake.
Apart from that ex H and ex w are pretty normal at the family dos I go to!

Ex MIL loves me (the feeling ain't mutual) but doesn't speak to her son. I understand that he has tried to rebuild bridges with her and he wants her to meet little Miss Awsome but she's having none of it. I couldn't care less - they are all as toxic as each other and I only put up with her so I can police how she treats my kids.

YABU OP - they obviously get on.

Ignorant? Do you mean rude?

Today is building up to be a Very Odd Day, threadwise

What do you mean?

Well, we've already had this thread, the AS Tattoo thread and the Giggling My DH Was Groped By a Man thread.

AIBU to be thoroughly looking forward to the full moon?

YABU. She will have had her own relationship with ILs, it doesn't end because the marriage ends or it would mean that she was just tolerated because married to DH and not liked in her own right. You need to make your own relationship with them, if you don't already, get to know them without DH being around.

Oh yeah I get you now!!

There have been some odd ones!

"MIL has a great relationship with ex wife, but surely, why sit by her side for over 6hrs???? and them knowing that DH can't stand her!!!!!"

Well at a fmaily function, where else should she have been? Hiding in a corner not allowed to talk to anyone?

I love dh's family more than my own. I told him if we ever split up I get custody of his fmaily!

The OP does say it is a function too so there would have been other people to mingle with not just the MIL. I would find others to mingle with at the function or join in with a "Hi, I'm x how are you?" and hope into the conversation if I was that desperate to talk to my MIL.