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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

soup row

87 replies

Digggers · 08/08/2011 11:06

a petty row that's over now, but interested on what the consensus is

me, dh and ds have half an hour to eat lunch and get out the house. I have made a pot of soup that's on the hob. I pour a bowl for me and ds, and take it through to the dining room, leaving DH's in the pan and the gas on low to keep it hot. DS is in the kitchen making a sandwhich, still so I tell him that his soup's still in the pan, point at it and that I'm going to go and eat with ds and then get him ready to go.

I return to the kitchen briefly to put mine and ds's bowls in dishwasher and then get us both ready to go. DH is in the kitchen the whole time, eating and clearing up. We get in the car and drive 20 miles, and I ask him if he remebered to turn the soup off when he got his out, because i remeber I didn't check the cooker like I normally do? He then tells me that he didn't eat any soup, didn't want any and no he didn't turn it off because he didn't go near the pan.

We then have to turn car around, come home and turn the gas off, therefore missing appointment. Apparently my fault as I left the gas on, he didn't realise the gas was on, just didn't want the soup. I think it's his as he didn't tell me that he wasn't going to eat his soup. I wouldn't have left the gas on if I'd known he didn't want it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Digggers · 08/08/2011 11:30

I said i was going to make soup for us all and he said good, he saw me making soup, he usually eats soup, i had no reason to doubt that he wouldn't eat the soup. I thought his sandwhich was to go with the soup.

SOUP!

He was in the kitchen as he was clearing up before we had to dash out, so i was dealing with ds and getting him ready, that's partly why i didn't pour him a bowl, but also because i thought he'd want it with his sandwhich and come thru and eat with us in a minute.

No i didn't say that the gas was on, just thought he was about to go and get his soup. That's my mistake then, I just assumed he'd eat the soup as he hadn't said he didn't want any and then didn't double check after.

oh well, like i said, petty and over now. Just curious so as to learn for the future

OP posts:
LadyClariceCannockMonty · 08/08/2011 11:32

YANBU. Any adult is conscious enough to have a quick 'sweep' of the kitchen before going out, surely? Whether or not they 'know' that a specific gas ring was on for a specific purpose.

BitOfFun · 08/08/2011 11:33

I've just had to make a cup a soup.

Soups · 08/08/2011 11:35

I want soup now, better than the pizza yesterday Wink

I don't think there's a right or wrong, one of those things.

Original poster
Digggers · 08/08/2011 11:35

a misunderstanding yes, that's actually what i said to him, that we were both made a mistake, but he insited hat it was my fault we'd missed appointment. Although on consensus maybe most would have thought so too. so thank you! i always find aibu brilliant for reality checking yourself

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 08/08/2011 11:35

YABU to not have told him you left the gas on. And it wouldn't have needed to be left on if you were assuming he was going to eat the soup within that very short space of time.

However, I'm more interested in what you are expecting to learn for the future?!

Original poster
Digggers · 08/08/2011 11:36

SOUP!

OP posts:
Original poster
Digggers · 08/08/2011 11:36

not to leave the gas on? ;-)

OP posts:
EightiesChick · 08/08/2011 11:37

It's only a minor thing, so as you've said, one to move on from. But for the record, I agree that in this situation YABU because to me, unless you have specifically asked another person to switch the gas off, then it's always the responsibility of the person who put the gas on to make sure it's switched off.

TrillianAstra · 08/08/2011 11:38

What mistake did he make?

He didn't turn off the gas that he didn't know was on.

I'm afraid this one is all you.

No need to fight about him eating/not eating the soup either.

EightiesChick · 08/08/2011 11:38

SOUP!

What flavour soup was it? I don't think we've heard enough about the soup. In fact, the soup's voice in all this has been unfairly sidelined.

rubyrubyruby · 08/08/2011 11:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 08/08/2011 11:40

How was it a misunderstanding when he didn´t know that the gas was on?

If someone else has cooked, I don´t then check that they have switched everything off.

If anything was left a pan for someone else, the heat is rarely left on, & if it is, then they are told.

rubyrubyruby · 08/08/2011 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

upahill · 08/08/2011 11:41

YABU

I would have turned the gas off and said 'there's some soup there if you want it' noting that he was already making a sandwich.

ExitPursuedByAGryffin · 08/08/2011 11:42

Yes - what sort of soup was it? Was it good? Did you make it yourself?

This is why I am glad I have an Aga Grin

eurochick · 08/08/2011 11:42

YABU. If you'd said to him "I've left the cooker on to keep your soup warm so turn it off when you've served yourself" then fine but he had no warning.

YouDoTheMath · 08/08/2011 11:42

I think you always have to check these things to cover your own arse.

Unless you had specifically asked him to turn it off, in which case it would be his fault.

Original poster
Digggers · 08/08/2011 11:44

The soup was definately out of order, it was a distinctly average carrot and lentil that put in no effort what so ever. It accordingly mainly ended up in ds's lap and hair, on the carpet, in the bin and burnt onto the bottom of the pan. The small amount that made it into my tummy didn't really make up for it's shortcomings. No wonder DH spurned it. Bloody soup

OP posts:
Original poster
Digggers · 08/08/2011 11:45

does anyone else make soup?

OP posts:
PeopleCallMeTricky · 08/08/2011 11:48

Next time, just put the lid on the pan Smile

Original poster
Digggers · 08/08/2011 11:52

see that's something to learn for the future.

SOUP

OP posts:
EightiesChick · 08/08/2011 11:53

I do sometimes but haven't for ages. Must make some more!

Lulabellarama · 08/08/2011 11:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 08/08/2011 11:57

Only on MN can a pan of soup end in divorce Wink

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