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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send in shop brought samosas for Ramadhan?....

58 replies

GaramMasalaGirl · 06/08/2011 23:59

It's Ramadhaan right now and DD (19) works in a call centre where the other fasters bring in TONS of gorgeous yummy HOME-COOKED food. Although DD isn't fasting, she wants to join in and take some samosas into work. She has asked me to help her cook them but I just CBA to spend hours and hours cooking them.

I made a few just before the start of the month and stuck them in the freezer and as there's only me, DD & DS at home we don't normally need to cook massive quantities of food......so bearing in mind that they'll probably taste better just as good as my homemade ones, would it be awful to send in some shop brought samosas?

DD thinks I'm BU and not getting into the spirit of Ramadhaan (being charitable, selfless etc etc) and is now not talking to me!

So what do you all think? (it's my first post here so please be gentle)

OP posts:
littleducks · 07/08/2011 03:42

Could you not choose something simpler to make and send in? Samosas are a bit of a faff, i think, although I have never actually made any just fried premade ones.

Like one of the other posters mentioned, we don't really eat fried stuff when we are fasting, especially now the days are long, as it makes you too thirsty.

So perhaps something different... like a nice salad (that is what we have been taking to mosque to share every night, it goes nicely with the rice and curry provided) or a sweet dish.....semiya/kheer are pretty quick and are only one pot to wash?

khaliwali · 07/08/2011 08:17

I am very offended that you say that all people think about during Ramadan is food...speak for yourself. For a multi cultural country, you guys sure have a weird perception of Ramadan and Eid. Actually, any food shared (as long as it is Halal) is in the spirit and if you are a non-Muslim, sharing your OWN food is far more generous than trying to join in for the sake of it. If you are not sure what is right, just ask!

HerHissyness · 07/08/2011 09:51

When I lived in Egypt every ramadan the shops were packed with people buying food, all day, every day except when the fast broke.

Cooking was ALL day, and yes it did seem to the outsider that the days of fasting were taken up (by the women) by cooking and preparing mountains of food. Even outside the holy months, food is central to a woman's day over there.

I'm sure those fasting were not necessarily thinking only about food, but again to the outsider, as indeed everything is in Egypt, it was weird to observe at times. That's not meant to be offensive, merely it was strange to me.

Chandon · 07/08/2011 09:58

your DD should make (or buy) them herself! FFS, sorry, but she is taking the mickey.

Time for her to grow up a bit.

Don't allow her to treat you like this, please.

ruddynorah · 07/08/2011 10:06

I think she should bake a cake. She can do this herself, no need for help and it will go down a treat. I have taken in krispy kreme donuts for the fasters, and everyone else, at my work.

MrBloomsNursery · 07/08/2011 10:51

Oh don't worry about it. I'm having family around for Iftaar tonight and I popped into Iceland to buy some frozen peas and ended up buying some vegetable spring rolls and corn on the cob, because they looked nice. I'm going to make some home cooked meat spring rolls too and chicken kebabs to even it out! Maybe you could rustle up a few quick potato pakora's aswell so it looks like you've DD's made an effort? Or maybe make a quick fruit salad? You could also make something for dessert like a fruit flan - doesn't take much time or energy at all!!

bringmesunshine2009 · 07/08/2011 11:08

HerHissyness I totally agree. In DH's country, the women are up at the crack of dawn preparing food ALL DAY which is eaten in 10 mins because of stomach shinkage and tons left over and then the sons complain they want fresh food not leftovers everyday, cheeky sods. It is not the point of Ramadan at all.

OP, your daughter can make her own samosas and clean up after herself, though it would be nice to help her if perhaps she isn't confident, Ramadan is about helping family. I have also drunk a bottle of coke at iftar and was seriously unwell-oops!

The Krispy Kreme option is great and one I have used myself! Hooe your fasts are all going well and hope that they are easig up now the days are shortening.

Khaliwali pipe down, tolerance and understanding works both ways. Why should anyone be expected to know how ramadan/Eid 'works' particularly since customs and food vary from place to place (eg Pakistan, UAE, Lebanon, North Africa, Turkey all have slightly different customs for the same observance). If posters don't know, provide the information so they do, don't berate for lack of knowledge, see it as an opportunity perhaps?

worraliberty · 07/08/2011 11:13

Loving Khaliwali's rather sweeping generalisation there Hmm

Anyway, how do you know she didn't ask 'what's right'?

Unless you speak for absolutely everyone, one person's idea of 'what's right' will be different to yours surely?

Original poster
GaramMasalaGirl · 07/08/2011 11:46

khaliwal we are Muslim & I should have made it clear (rather than saying everyone) that the other Muslim people that i know of (in my little world) do think and talk about food a lot during this month......I'm not sure why that is. Whether it's talking about what to cook, what ingredients to buy and what the first thing they're going to get their chops around as soon as they've opened their fast!

It seems that hissy and sunshine can also verify that from their experiences

littleducks & MrBloom I think I'm over thinking it and getting myself in a tizz. Your suggestions are great and I think it would be easier to take in a small variety of easier to make healthier things and I will definitely try Iceland

sunshine Krispy Kreme idea is fantastic and DD would love love love to take those in but we don't have one where we live Sad

OP posts:
bringmesunshine2009 · 07/08/2011 12:00

Lots of Tesco branches seem to have a small KK concession, not that I have researched this or anything ;)

Original poster
GaramMasalaGirl · 07/08/2011 12:08

sunshine Gosh is that true?? I think you might have just changed my whole life! There's not many problems in life that can't be made even slightly better with a Krispy Kreme and a cup of coffee!

OP posts:
LucySnoweShouldRelax · 07/08/2011 12:20

worra "It's like giving up something for Lent...but then having a bit of it and giving it up again before having a bit more."

I'm afraid to the majority of Irish people, that's exactly what Lent is... I mean, everyone knows that Lent doesn't count on St Patrick's Day, right? Or birthdays... Or Sundays...

I would be inclined to say let her make the samosas, but supervise from a good, comfortable vantage point, with handy "Maybe now you could soak those bowls while xx is cooking/in the oven?"

HerHissyness · 07/08/2011 12:51

good points sunshine, i was up against a deadline and skiving, so couldn't devote my full attention, but your point about traditions varying, that is so pertinent.

Even X when he once when to an Asian mosque here said the way they did things was totally different to what he'd experienced growing up.

Festivities and even pharonic/pagan rites have been included in egyptian 'islamic' life (albeit a little known fact), and other nations/culture have their own very distinct and individual practices that are not carried over into other societies.

I think actually that as a nation, here in the UK we ARE highly multi-cultural, inclusive of any difference and variation between religions as a whole and within these religions.

I vote Krispy Kremes, that'd be a really novel and delicious addition to the table!

khaliwali · 07/08/2011 13:40

Garam, I appreciate that food is a big part of Ramadan and a huge social aspect, all I am saying is that anyone who is fasting and sits around all day thinking about food is surely defeating the object of the exercise. A lot of the people I work with don't even take the shortened Ramadan hours day because they want to be reminded of how it would feel to be hungry, thirsty, poor and tired. A bit different to dieting where you are doing it for completely selfish reasons, I thought Ramadan was to not think about yourself and your own needs while fasting. That's all I am saying. I work in an office with 2 Indonesian Muslims, 2 Pakistani, 3 Emarati, Saudi,Bangladeshi and two British converted.

Original poster
GaramMasalaGirl · 07/08/2011 14:05

khaliwal I don't think anyone I know who is fasting actually sits around all day whilst fasting. Life goes on as normal, people who work...go to work etc.

And the purpose of fasting isn't just see how it feels to be hungry, thirsty poor and tired. It is (amongst other things) a time of reflection, prayer and increased spirituality and it is completely different to dieting, I accept that was a silly analogy. But Ramadhan is definitely a time to think about yourself and your desires and actions and the impact of them on others.

I guess the people who I know of (who talk a lot about food) just aren't as good Muslims as the people you work with. Well done them.

OP posts:
Original poster
GaramMasalaGirl · 07/08/2011 14:09

I meant to say we don't sit around all day thinking about food just a lot of the day!! Smile

OP posts:
HerHissyness · 07/08/2011 14:25

me thinks there is competitive islam going on there though OP! Wink

mumblejumble · 07/08/2011 14:37

You could just get ready made fillo(sp) pastry and make them, but if it was me, I would just buy ready made ones.
If dd is so bothered, perhaps she could make them herself Grin

HedleyLamarr · 07/08/2011 14:54

[Arf] at competitive Islam!

Original poster
GaramMasalaGirl · 07/08/2011 15:05

Hissy I know!! Reminds me of when my DD was in reception class many many years ago. She was told by her classmate, also a Muslim that she wasn't a proper Muslim because her Mum (me) wore jeans! Confused

I've lost count of the number of times I've been told that I am not a proper Muslim because I don't wear a scarf/have the odd sneaky fag/occasionally wear bright red lipstick!!

OP posts:
HerHissyness · 07/08/2011 15:10

don't get me started! Grin

khaliwali · 07/08/2011 15:15

Well.I am not a Muslim actually.

bringmesunshine2009 · 07/08/2011 16:04

I will never understand why for some people Muslim woman=dress old and dowdy. Saying that, am not at my foxy best today haha. Must do better!

lachesis · 07/08/2011 16:12

'DD is actually quite a good cook better than me but she's not quite that organised yet and hasn't yet learned to clean as she goes along which means the kitchen will end up looking like a bomb site!!
'
Then make her clean it up! FFS. She's 19 and you're still cleaning up after her because she's not quite organised?

Plenty of us were living on our own by that age.

She wants to bring in homemade she makes it herself and cleans up the mess like any other adult.

HerHissyness · 07/08/2011 16:16

IME, (not muslim, but X is, and we lived there for a while ) but the clothes that provided acceptable coverage were pretty dowdy, even shopping back in the UK, everything was too low cut, tight, arms too short, showing the back of the neck Shock

IME smoking cigarettes was rare for women, but shisha was acceptable.

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