Baby showers?

[Angel786]

First baby only or would you have a shower for all babies?

www.randomhistory.com/2008/11/01_baby.html

From en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_shower
In England, this is called wetting the baby's head, and is a more common substitute to a baby shower, which is seen as a materialistic American custom.

My best and I were pregnant with our firsts at the same time and she wanted us to throw a joint one together. No fecking way.

People buy gifts when the baby arrives anyway, and we knew we'd get DC Christened so yet another time people feel obliged (not that we'd ever have expected) to buy gifts. Plus a lot of people had been so generous with loans of various things baby-related as well - the idea of asking people to come to a baby shower for me and give more gifts was just not an option.

I can see how they would be nice if handled correctly, but this wouldn't have been!

Well, I guess I'm a grabby Canadian then, as a baby shower was thrown for me by my MIL, as a surprise, with our first born. It was great fun, all sorts of friends I hadn't got to see in a while came, along with the family matriarchy.
Some gifts were larger (from family) some were simple, like bibs and cloths, and all we greatfully recieved. We were very broke, due to uncontrolable circumstances, and the gifts were really helpful.
We did have some silly games, but it was mostly a chance for everyone to catch up, have some lovely food, and pass along real support.
If that makes me tacky, so be it
(oh, and we had a sip and see when our second came along.)

Not tacky at all Goodynuff.

I don't understand why people (in the UK, (As this is the only place I have heard negativity over showers) think showers are "grabby", especially when done as a surprise for the expectant mom. Maybe they think they are obligated to buy 2 presents, one for the shower and one for when baby arrives?

Maybe they do not give friends and family presents when a baby is born in the UK? But I don't read people mentioning that, so not sure.

I think it may be a prejudice against Americans, I also saw a lot of bashing of Halloween, with people commenting it was an American tradition, here on Mumsnet.
I am so unused to prejudice here in Canada, that it was a bit of a surprise/eye-opener.

I would like to know where people draw the line. When I was pg, colleagues, who were also great friends, threw me a surprise do on my last day at work, far beyond a normal leaving do. I have done the same for others except mine was at work, theirs have been at mutual friend's houses or in restaurants.. No silly games etc but certainly lots of food, drink, chat and, yes, presents. No one was obliged to buy anything but they did because they wanted to. All of them were great fun, enjoyed by all.

I find this really odd about MN and it comes out in the wedding threads all the time. Most of you seem to have friends you can't stand. Very strange set up.

I do respect other peoples culture, and would never throw a shower for anyone who lives in the UK, now that I am aware that is not the thing to do.

Sorry, my question was actually when does a gathering with your friends to see the person off, as it were, become the baby shower you all seem to despise so much? I'm finding all of the replies a bit worthy.

I live in the US. I am loving hearing these other perspectives as a baby shower seems so normal to me. HOWEVER. I recently received a shower invite, complete with a registry list for 2 stores. Fine. Then I see at the bottom it says also bring a package of diapers to be entered in a raffle. And it also specifies adults only. I feel like she may as well hand me her grocery list and have me do her shopping for her. How's that for greedy grabby americans?

I live in the US. I am loving hearing these other perspectives as a baby shower seems so normal to me. HOWEVER. I recently received a shower invite, complete with a registry list for 2 stores. Fine. Then I see at the bottom it says also bring a package of diapers to be entered in a raffle. And it also specifies adults only. I feel like she may as well hand me her grocery list and have me do her shopping for her. How's that for greedy grabby americans?

I actually didn't know (til Mumsnet) that that's where the word "shower" came from. It's just a word I've always known to mean "special party" ; I had no idea about the showering with gifts thing.

I just think you're all jumping to conclusions when you hear the word when, although the word shower might be thrown around a bit more now, in the majority of cases it's simply friends getting together.

Urghghghghgh I can't bear the thought of my friends throwing me a baby shower - the thought of sitting around having contrived baby-related games and having to buy presents for a baby which hasn't even been born yet is just too horrible for words.

I would much much rather go for a meal with friends - totally un-baby related, just to enjoy being able to go out for dinner without having to think about baby sitters etc. and then have friends over once the baby is here if that's what they want to do.

GML: a shower is however a specific type of party. It is one where the honouree is "showered with gifts".

No one is against people having parties!

But people don't say "wedding shower" when they mean "hen do", or "birthday disco" when they mean "birthday dinner".

If you say "shower", then of course guests will assume it's a shower!

If you want to have a different celebration, don't call it a shower!

sleepywombat if someone asked me what I'd like as a present I'd assume they actually wanted to know...

They make me feel all ick. Why not just have a few friends around for cake and tea if you want a bit of 'me time' before you give birth?
Presents for baby shower, presents when the baby is born and then quite often christening presents as well...it's just not do-able for the average person, surely?

Fair enough. But if you do as dickiedavis suggests and the friends decide to bring presents, what's the difference? A couple of you have said the games, but the bit that seems to piss people off is the present giving, but we've established that a lot of people like to do that anyway?

SGM the problem is that most people assume that presents are expected after the birth as well, I've never had anyone specifically say 'no presents' because they've been given stuff at the baby shower. Perhaps if they did people would be more comfortable with them as it's much less grabby.

Stewie - have the baby showers you've been to been in Canada? I think they are fair enough where there is a culture of having them. If I had one here in the UK, my friends would think I had lost the plot.