Baby showers?

[Angel786]

First baby only or would you have a shower for all babies?

I have been to three baby showers and they were all lovely, btw (all for first babies). No games or tacky shit. Just friends and family gathering around to give the mum-to-be a lovely afternoon and a bit of a 'send off' into motherhood. What's not to like?

I was invited to one just before Christmas. Well she called it a 'baby shower', it was basically just a day she had picked for people to go round a give her presents. My friend and I were the only ones there at the time, no nibbles particularly, just sat in the front room with the television on. It just seemed really grabby to me. Especially since the friend was then hardly ever in touch afterwards and recently failed to show up at DDs christening, and I'm still waiting for her excuses (it was 4 weeks ago). bitter

Be careful OP, they can appear extremely grabby, especially if self-organised. Why not go out for a lovely meal with close family & friends before LO arrives, no expectation of presents & everyone gets a nice meal out?

Thing is about the 'only for first baby' idea is if other people want to organise it, or if it's a total surprise, how can that be wrong?

Personally, I like them. They are not greedy and grabbing. How can they be when the idea is that someone throws one for you.

Personally I did think it was for a first time baby but as I had no friends when I had DS and made them all at toddler groups, they threw me one for DD, with the idea that they get something for me, not the baby as I already had everything (I got vouchers towards some fingerprint jewellery that I really wanted but couldn't afford). Now (as I was the first one to have another one) it does seem to have become that we have to throw one for everyone now who has a baby, regardless of how many children they have and whether they had one the first time which I am unsure about really.

It was a nice excuse for a child free afternoon with friends, we played some games which were fun and had tea, cake and other yummy food. Was such a lovely afternoon!

The only ones I've seen evidence of (i.e. people's photos on fb) ar my idea of hell - "organised fun" (twee party games), little cutesy cakes, and teeny tiny sandwiches. Then again, I'm a complete and utter cynic.

I've only ever been to one and it was for a friend's second baby - I don't think that she had one for her first

I was glad that she had one as we were at the same stage in pregnancy (due a week apart) and it gave me a chance to give her the gift that I would have bought anyway, knowing that I might not have been able to go and see her after the birth due to being tied up with my own newborn or being very heavily pregnant!

I don't see much problem with them really as I usually buy a present for friends' babies anyway

I don't think that I would throw one for myself though - dunno why!

I will let you know how mine goes. But just to say again, my friend is throwing it for me. I would never throw one for myself

my sister threw one for me

nice get together on a sunday afternoon, cakes and nibbles. yes i did get presents, but it was nice to see everyone :)

as a sidenote: i wouldnt attend a baby shower for someone i wouldnt normally buy a present for anyway, so i would take a gift nd would see it as 'present grabby'

Awful things, tacky and grasping. Even if thrown by somebody else, they are still thrown with the intention of getting presents.

None. It's much nicer and more appropriate to give/receive presents once the baby has arrived safely.

not for me or mine. nobody i know has done them but close friends and family buy in wee bits except my mum who hasnt stopped shopping for months now for once the babies born, couple of pretty sleepsuits, teddy etc.

Had sort of get together, organised by a friend. But I tackled it kind if head on with her and said I'd love to get together for chatty evening with the girls, but not if gifts involved. Had great time. Would have been awkward otherwise.

Personally I prefer the idea of a Blessingway, which focusses on rallying around and making a fuss on the mum-to-be, rather than the free stuff.

First baby only or would you have a shower for all babies?

None. They are tacky and grabby IMO. You want a baby, pay for it yourself. Most friends and families do give gifts after the birth without anyone throwing a party just to get presents from people.

I would never throw myself a shower, it is supposed to be hosted by someone else. And since you are not a first time mother, perhaps a welcoming party would be more suitable. Usually held a month or so after the birth.

As far as being fair on the other children, it is tradition to have a shower for the first born, so isn't anything personal against them. Having a welcoming party is the same but without games. Don't mention gifts in any way! Have fun and be sure and post about it!

PS. To the people who think a shower is grasping....what is wrong with giving presents anyways? Isn't this type of thing supposed to be a fun day of making mom feel special? Wouldn't you be giving a present when baby is born regardless? Why not at a gathering of friends and make a party out of it?

I like them but then again, I am a greedy, grasping American. :o

Usually for first babies here; for subsequent DCs you can have a sip 'n' see after the baby's born.

I like that, Deeseus. I had a shower for my dd but always thought it was a one off for the first born. Now I wonder if it would then be unfair on additional children?

How could it be "unfair" you just get baby supplies to help you on your way which presumably you still have form the first one and besides that a baby certainly wont care that they didnt have a shower!

I don't mind them for first babies, I think the idea of having a party for mum (where you give gifts to the mum for the mum not the baby)is weird though. Whoo congrats on your ability to procreate, like the vast majority of the population, have some gifts. I really never get the "pamper the mother stuff" I think its all to much a part of this "me me me" attitude we have now a days. You have a baby because you want a baby.

Lola, pamper as in, her puts her feet up, and gets to relax, not give her presents. Although I think is is really kind to think of the mom to be, and give her something, like a nice baby book to record things in... or Valium. (jk)

she not her! Eeek.

Is it me me me, if a friend does it though? yes, if the mtb does it, but if it is an unasked for gift, is that ok?

The sip n see cheerful mentions is a nice compromise. No presents expected, no games and that sort of thing, just a gathering of friends and family to meet the baby. This can be helpful in preventing a flood of visitors during the first few weeks, if you send out invites ahead of time.

Aren't they just a US thing? Never really heard of any being held here, and I haven't been invited to any, nor had one.

I do quite like Deesuss suggestion though..

The sip and sees are nice. (For anyone unaware of them, it's when you come to "sip" tea and "see" the baby. Though lots have lemonade or even champagne as well as tea.) I love plan to have one for my next baby; they're great and simple, just "come anytime from one to four" or whatever.

And people do often bring presents to a sip and see, but they're not expected.