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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

if I send my sister a bill?

67 replies

CharlieSaid · 05/08/2011 18:29

She came to stay with me for a week bringing her DP and 2 kids. We now live by the sea, so this was their 'holiday'. OMFOOKINGG! They have taken the piss the whole time. Bite my tongue. Don't say anything. Mother will be uspet. They left today while I was at work, which I knew was going to happen. HALLELUJAH!

They have taken everything they brought with them and I mean everything. The unfinished cornflakes, the uneaten packets of crisps, the apples. She's even taken the milk out of the fridge that she went out and bought last night because her kids have guzzled the lot I bought. The kids campbeds are all left up, douvets and pillows all over the place, dirty cups in the bedroom she had.

I'm fooking livid. And breathe.........

changed name coz she knows my nick although I'm secretly hoping she sees this anyway and realises what a self-centred trollop she's been

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 06/08/2011 14:09

We occasionally go and stay at my sistes house on th IOW - sometimes when she's there saometimes not. We always strip all our beds (and if there's time and someone to unload the washing we put it in the machine), hoover where we have been and clear the fridge out (if she's not there, but leave basics if she is), then I leave a bottle of champagne in the fridge.

Because we quite like being asked again

Your sister (apart fom being rude) isn't very smart, is she.

DadIsSad · 06/08/2011 14:50

If sending a bill is too much, then why not make up a price list for next year and send it? Slightly less inflammatory.

WiiUnfit · 06/08/2011 16:39

YANBU, your Sister however is BVVVVU & you are right to be fuming. A relative of DP has a holiday-home type flat in Bournemouth which we have all stayed at on occasion (usually without them there as it is only small). We make & strip the beds, replace any food if we have used any (we usually don't & there isn't usually any there as it's their holiday pad) as well as leave them a nice bottle of wine as a thank you gift. And definitely no sandy towels!!

DizzyKipper · 06/08/2011 16:43

Don't send her a bill. Just tell her how disrespectful it was - especially taking back the milk that she bought to replace all of YOUR milk that they guzzled! - and that you won't be having them back.

Collision · 06/08/2011 16:51

Dh, 2 boys and I went to stay with my bro and his family in the South of France last year.

We were lovely guests though. We cleaned their house from top to bottom (when they were out and we were babysitting) and we paid for food for everyone for the fortnight we were there. DH (a chef) did all the cooking and I did front of house and set the table for dinner with candles every night.

Some nights we ate with the kids and some nights we did the posh bit with just the four of us.

They were thrilled and SIL said she felt SHE was on holiday.

I would never take advantage like they did. Tis most disrespectful.

TottWriter · 06/08/2011 17:09

YANBU> If my brother or sister ever did this sort of thing I'd be straight on the phone giving them a good bollocking!

I can almost understand the kind of weird thinking it would take to remove all food they had bought, even general supplies, but to not tidy away and leave cups lying around? What the hell?

purplepidjin · 06/08/2011 17:32

Peapodmamma43 · 06/08/2011 20:32

We live in Scotland and we've had family and 'friends' stay in our last house which was 5 bed, brand new detached, huge garden, jacuzzi bath, 40 miles from Edinburgh....sounds great doesn't it! Then just hours after they arrived they decide to monopolise the TV, not get up in the morning until 10am, moan about the 'paper thin walls' and how crappily it was built.....we did a self build so we were upset! Then they didn't want to help with any cooking and just waited for us to serve them, wash up and clear away, moaned about hearing a sheep fart in the night (we lived in a rural area), and didn't want to go out for a walk with us and the kids, or for daytrips with us! Then when they left there was hair in the plughole and damp towels left on the floor and the quilt cover was scrunched up and we had to strip the beds ourselves! We have now moved to a smaller house in the country and have had complaints when we have offered to put people up for the night in our living room as we had no spare bedroom (with 4 kids and 3 beds, you can imagine why we didn't have the space...). We give up! We don't invite folk anymore as they just complain there nothing to do (all grass and trees, boring), no shops and they don't like the smell of the coalfires and woodburning stoves that you get in the village!! Don't make me rant anymore!!

Peapodmamma43 · 06/08/2011 20:44

Oh I forgot, having friends stay with kids who don't get on with your own kids is always a bad idea! Especially if their kids are girls and yours are boys or vice versa! A sure recipe for disaster!!

LatteLady · 06/08/2011 21:13

My aunt used to do this to my mother every year! Although we still talk about the year that she bought a hand of bananas and two loo rolls. The other thing that would happen is that she would run out of money by the end of the fortnight and my mum would have to give her the cab fare for her trip across London...

purplepidjin · 06/08/2011 21:27

Worst one as a single person has to be people who don't get up with their own children. Who then proceed to jump all over me at 5am demanding breakfast - because their parents decided that I should have "one more and sleep on the sofa, go on, here's a blanket, then we can have a proper adult catch up" Yeah, because you know I'll feel guilted into keeping the kids quiet all bloody morning!

G1nger · 06/08/2011 22:53

I don't really get the whole bed-stripping thing, personally. I wouldn't want my guests doing it, so wouldn't think of doing it myself.

GnomeDePlume · 07/08/2011 00:01

Some people are good houseguests and some arent. My DPiL are good guests, when we lived abroad they would give DH their housekeeping for the week. My DM is prone to 'grand gestures' so her contributions tended towards the impractical (takeaways when we had already bought dinner or expensive bottles cognac when we dont drink spirits).

The problem is that some guests just dont appreciate how expensive they are. They consume everything at the same rate as everyone else normally in the house plus a bit. Unfortunately they dont see that. A week's stay is not repaid by a dinner out for the host.

The ideal houseguest responds to the situation. They recognise when the host needs a break from being a host and take themselves (and family) away. They recognise when the host wants to host.

Above all else they remember that houseguests are like fish, they go off after a few days.

SingingSands · 07/08/2011 00:18

Families, eh?

Last year we had both sets of parents visit for the day when it happened to be DS's 2nd birthday and also mother's day. I did a lovely buffet lunch for DS's birthday "party", which they all just picked at, gave gifts to both mothers, had pink champagne on ice etc etc. Then we went out for a lovely long walk along the river before heading home with DH leaving the walk early to prepare the veggies for dinner and lay the table - we had bought 2 joints of beef and they were slow cooking. I was really looking forward to a big jolly family roast dinner so you can imagine how disappointed we were to be told by both sets of parents that they were not staying for dinner, and they didn't even stay for a cup of tea before jumping in their cars and zooming off! They could have fecking told us that the day before! We were eating sodding roast beef for a week!

SingingSands · 07/08/2011 00:21

Oh I missed a bit - it was also Mother's Day - hence the pink champers and giving of gifts to the ungrateful mothers.

Teachermumof3 · 07/08/2011 00:29

Nope-you left that bit in!

Agree with you, though-families can be a nightmare!

SingingSands · 07/08/2011 00:52

But then, my lovely brother and his girlfriend came to stay for a weekend recently AND looked after my two children whilst DH and I went on a city break. It was amazing - DB had the kids bathed and in jammies for 6:30pm every night, his girlfriend baked chocolate brownies with them, he took them to a school fair, the park, the toyshop and the wildlife park. They ate every meal he cooked for them. The house was spotless when we returned, the kids were fed and put to bed and then DB made an amazing curry for us and also brought out some beers he'd bought! My face was like this --> The kids now hero-worship him and I am left wondering if I ought to make this a twice yearly event?! Now that is the kind of house guest I am happy to have!

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