if I send my sister a bill?

[CharlieSaid]

She came to stay with me for a week bringing her DP and 2 kids. We now live by the sea, so this was their 'holiday'. OMFOOKINGG! They have taken the piss the whole time. Bite my tongue. Don't say anything. Mother will be uspet. They left today while I was at work, which I knew was going to happen. HALLELUJAH!

They have taken everything they brought with them and I mean everything. The unfinished cornflakes, the uneaten packets of crisps, the apples. She's even taken the milk out of the fridge that she went out and bought last night because her kids have guzzled the lot I bought. The kids campbeds are all left up, douvets and pillows all over the place, dirty cups in the bedroom she had.

I'm fooking livid. And breathe.........

changed name coz she knows my nick although I'm secretly hoping she sees this anyway and realises what a self-centred trollop she's been

[wannabesybil]

Polterguest by Ogden Nash

[LineRunner]

CharlieSaid, that's just plain weird.

Normal form when leaving a relative's house is to clean and tidy one's room(s), and to leave a suitable gift.

I think you might take a box of food away that has been bought specifically for children, if you think your host would regard it as clutter, but you would normally leave anything that is being used communally e.g. milk - unless you knew you would be arriving back home after the shops had closed. But even then you'd mention it; you wouldn't just leave your host with no milk.

[rookiemater]

Why don't you plan a visit to their pad

[iscream]

Since it is your sister, you should say something to her.
Very rude to leave that mess behind, and not even take you all out for a meal! At the very least!

[ledkr]

My pils do exactly this,they took a slice of cake that was left over from the only thing they bought. They did it when i was heavily pg and tried to 2 days after my section-we didnt let them.
What has you Mum said op?

[RandomMess]

Last time we visited a friend en mass I sent her hard cash in advance so she could stock up on food etc etc, offered to do chores and stuff etc........

[Lara2]

Say something, or it will fester and turn into WWIII. Or visit at the most inappropriate time (Christmas?) unannounced and make her life hell???

[Loonytoonie]

One of our life long friends lives in France and we get an invite to stay there for a weeks holiday every few years. We always go, stock up on lots of lovely UK foods that I know they love (lots of Cadbury's , take our own towels and bedding. We clean their pool every day when we're there (DH loves doing it, kids love netting up the dead bugs), we take them out to dinner to a nearby chateau, and the kids and I take their 3 labradors out for a hefty walk everyday. If they had children, I'd baby sit for THEM to go out alone.
We cook for them. It's the best holiday we have by far, and we only pay for petrol costs to get there (Mr Tesco pays for the chunnel .

Your sister, by far, is taking the piss,

[Grockle]

Reeling, we must be neighbors! Why do people never shake the sand out?!

Some visitors are very cheeky - I always go armed with wine & buy dinner, make a meal & keep everything clean & tidy. I'm going to stay with a friend in a couple if weeks so am now worrying about how to be the perfect houseguest.

[Sparkletastic]

your sister, for example, is a twat

[frazzle26]

Really out of order. You have to say something or you will just be silently fuming about this for ages. Best to get it out in the open. In her head she's done nothing wrong so she may (or may not) be really apologetic and embarrassed about what they've done.

[InstantAtom]

You need to say something. She won't know unless you tell her.

[PerryCombover]

I never do anything at family or friends houses as they are hosting me.
I bring booze. I expect to be treated very well.

I return the experience. I love looking after them and in return being looked after.

[TalcAndTurnips]

I am disgruntled for you, CharlieSaid (especially as you must be named after the public information films, which are legendary)

When we stay in holiday lets, we leave the place spotless; beds stripped, house cleaned, polished and hoovered, any excess non-perishables left in the cupboards for the next guests.

That's after paying a substantial amount for the place in the first place (I know you're not required to do all that - but I'd feel churlish not to.) For somebody who is supposedly a loving relative to leave their beds unmade, dirty cups in the bedroom and so on - after accepting your hospitality for a week, gratis, is quite beyond the pale.

Definitely send a bill. I believe the going rate in high season could be around £500-600 - and that would not include meals? Knock up a bit of headed notepaper on the PC - Freeloader Cottage or something similar. She'd probably get the message.

[G1nger]

I wouldn't say anything (although that isn't really surprising given that my family are all 'sweep it under the carpet-ers'). What are you going to say, anyway? Point out her incredibly bad manners? Tell her what she could do differently next time? Just don't have her back.

[Rollersara]

We regularly spend time at my mum's in the summer now she lives by the coast. We either bring food or do a big shop when we're there, at least half the cooking (all the cooking when she's poorly as she has been the last couple of years), do all the driving, make the beds and try and either take them out or get a takeaway. My mum would never let us buy a thank you gift, but it's common courtesy to do everything else!

[squeezemebakingpowder]

Very rude and inconsiderate, definitely never invite her again!

My niece and her husband live in Cornwall, and she kindly invited us down for a long weekend break, and while their hospitality was second to none, we certainly didn't take the piss! We washed up and took them out for meals, I baked goodies for them before we went. We were eternally grateful to them for letting us stay in such a beautiful place!

She has asked us to go again so we can't have been too much of a nightmare!
:)

[InstantAtom]

It may be that she'd be quite happy for you to have an equally lazy break at her house so it all works out fairly.

At least give her the chance to mend her ways or apologise, by telling her what the problem was. Say what the expectations will be next time.

[SquidgyBiscuits]

You've done well to last a week without saying something to her, OP!!

I don't think I've got it in me.

I used to stay at my uncle's in Bournemouth for a few weeks during the summer hols with my mum. We always got shopping in, cleaned up and cooked. He would always go OTT with buying things in, and spending a small fortune on "entertaining" - BBQ's and the like - plenty of alcohol etc. We would always strip our beds when we were leaving and leave the cash he wouldn't take from us towards housekeeping in the bedrooms.

[ImperialBlether]

I hope she does see this thread and feel ashamed of herself. She sounds like a lazy, greedy woman with a sense of entitlement as big as your house.

[nothingnatural]

YANBU to be pissed off, of course not your sis was well out of order.

BUT why not say something whilst she was there? She's your SISTER! Why the need to bite your tongue? I'd be totally like you if it was a selfish friend or more distant relative staying over, but if it was close family, I'd be more than happy to say a quick "oi - tidy up love" or some such sisterly nudge. Why be so tolerant of slovenly house guests if you're closely related. Surely brothers and sisters can manage a bit of a frank exchange without all hell breaking loose?

[flyingspaghettimonster]

Feel for you. Since moving to America my sister has visited 3 months of the year, as long as her visa-waiver allows her. Nice as it would be to have family living over there near me, I hate being a taxi/chef/b&b/entertainer for so long... I'm not very sociable, so being around anyone but my own husband and kids for so long is a bit of an ordeal...

[StayingDavidTennantsGirl]

Some friends of ours came to stay with us last year - it was their only holiday that year, because money was really tight for them. They originally came for 4 days, but ended up staying for a week because they were having such a good time - but they were exemplary guests, fun to have around, took my dog with them and theirs on one long walk/day out and wore her out, and ordered a whole leg of cooked ham from a really nice online supplier as their contribution to the housekeeping. And they helped out with washing up etc and sorted their beds before they left.

They will be welcome back any time they want - and I do not understand why there are some people like the OP's family, who'd think that the opposite is a) acceptable and b)at all likely to result in a second invitation!

[JanMorrow]

See, if my bro or sis did this I would feel perfectly comfortable telling them off. I would use the actual words, don't be a dick..

[MissyMoo321]

I would say something if any of my sisters did this. Out of order.