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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To nearly have a heart attack at the frape on my daughters facebook

76 replies

scotchmist · 05/08/2011 18:22

DD 19 going into 3rd year at uni in september, living away from home and working full time over the summer to pay for her digs, i keep in touch by text, phone and facebook, just loged onto my FB and her FB status said, 6 weeks pregnant :) it was posted about an hour ago and there were 15 likes, i phoned her right away and apparently her boyfreinds freind facebook raped her when she was having a shower and she didnt know, she burst out laughing but im failing to see the funny side, anyone got a valium.

OP posts:
proudfoot · 05/08/2011 18:38

YABVU for use of "frape".

Disgusting.

5littleducks · 05/08/2011 18:40

You needn't have used the word if you hate it. YABU.

DontCallMePeanut · 05/08/2011 18:40

YABVU for using the word "frape". I'm sorry, it's disgusting, and minimising rape to a joke. There are other words you can use. Try "hijack" or something like that.

hermionejgranger · 05/08/2011 18:41

picnic it's when someone posts stuff pretending to be you - either by finding you've left your 'puter unsupervised while logged into facebook, or by knowing your login details and accessing your account that way....

lola I wondered what all the inches thing was about! Nobody invited me this time - even after I told everyone what colour my bra was and where I like to put my handbag... d'oh! Grin

5littleducks · 05/08/2011 18:42

How about "hacked", "used her account without her knowing"... I'm sure you could think of something.

Original poster
scotchmist · 05/08/2011 18:42

hijack it is then Smile

OP posts:
picnicbasketcase · 05/08/2011 18:43

I have heard someone use that word to mean sleeping with a friend you wouldn't normally fancy, whilst drunk. I don't know whether it has two meanings or if the person had heard it and misunderstood what it mean Confused Either way - nasty.

Original poster
scotchmist · 05/08/2011 18:44

ok sorry i will never ever use that word again.

OP posts:
Letz · 05/08/2011 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

mippy · 05/08/2011 20:02

"LADIES EYES ONLY Right ladies it?s time to confuse the lads again as we know it makes their brains work wonders on what we're talkin about."

Fuck the fuck off.

and that's before I think about 'frape''.

SharperSeven · 05/08/2011 20:22

It used to be "facerape" a while back.
Seems a common thing for a friend to take any chance when someone leaves their computer logged on to change the status,
Used to be mainly boys declaring "themselves" gay.

bubblesincoffee · 05/08/2011 20:35

Isn't 'frape' something they sell in starbucks?

DontCallMePeanut · 05/08/2011 20:43

That's a frappe, Bubbles Grin

Now I want one...

JanMorrow · 05/08/2011 20:52

This is why I'm glad my mum isn't on Facebook

Rhinestone · 05/08/2011 20:58

Another vote here for banning the term 'frape'. It's repulsive.

MightyQuim · 05/08/2011 21:16

I don't get the 'frape' outrage. Rape can mean to seize and violate - it doesn't always have sexual connotations. I can't see how it trivialises rape (in the unauthorised penetration sense) at all. If you are that desperate to be offended I'm sure anyone who has been involved in a plane hijack wouldn't like that to be trivialised either.

alowVeraWithPurpleTwuntyPants · 05/08/2011 21:26

Well so far today I have 5 "pregnant" friends, of various weeks gone, craving chocolate bars.

Also have a few friends on facebook ( yes I know them personally ) whose husbands/work colleagues/wives etc think it's funny to update their statuses in their absence. Generally referred to as frape.

Birdsgottafly · 05/08/2011 21:28

You are not really violated by a load of crap written on the internet, though.
Hijack means 'taking over' so it describes it better.

The meaning of rape is now universal, to say otherwise is ridiculous.

LineRunner · 05/08/2011 21:36

OP, report the thread and have it removed?

MightyQuim · 05/08/2011 21:44

Forced sexual intercourse is the more common usage - yes - but it is also still used in the context of the violent seizure or abuse of resources - the rape of the countryside/planet etc. Hijack is also completely overdramatic for someone writing something on you Facebook status.

alowVeraWithPurpleTwuntyPants · 05/08/2011 21:46

Birds - I agree that "hijack" makes more sense.

MightyQuim · 05/08/2011 21:50

Meant to add that the word has obviously evolved from the less common meaning. No-one is suggesting that they have been sexually assaulted by someone writing on their facebook!
Using the term 'frape' is no more trivialising sexual rape than calling it Facebook hijack would be trivialising 9/11. Words can mean more than one thing.

Birdsgottafly · 05/08/2011 21:52

Rape isn't used anymore for anything other than sexual crimes, by the media, yes, at one time it was, in the same way that actors in old British films would declare that they were having a 'gay day'.

Because rape is used world wide, especially across Africa as a war crime, the meaning has become very definate when used in modern context.

LolaRennt · 05/08/2011 21:52

The OP has apologised for offence meant several times now and by her own admission (don't want to sound patronising) isn't "with it" as far as FB etc and was attempting to use what she belived the most accepted terminology for a hacked facebook account.

Think you are all being a bit unkind and that if you want the title changed you could report it yourselves and not hassle her on the actual thread about reporting it herself.

I don't see the point of her reporting it and having it deleted really as she's already been given a rather stern talking to on thread.

MightyQuim · 05/08/2011 21:54

I have also seen rape used in modern times to describe the pillaging of resources across Africa by the west so to say it isn't used anymore isn't true.