AIBU to think colouring a childs hair is a bit ugh?

[shelfy74]

An old school friend has posted pictures on fb of her colouring her blonde daughters hair bright red with proper permanent dye. Child is 7. Everyone is commenting, saying "it looks fab". I dye my own hair, it's harmless as far as I know, but is it ok to do a 7 year olds?? I really don't know now. But then I'm very tired and it's none of my business so I guess this is a bit pointless really.

Sun in is the work of the devil it contains chemicals that react everytime it is exposed to sun/heat therefore keeps processing causing damage to your hair no dye can b put over it as it has a lovely reaction that actually melts the hair!this is why we take test cuttings. it has to be cut out as a hairdresser I really don't think it should be sold at all! Especially to be used on children

I think my greater concern would be the degree of negative attention the child would be exposed to.

A child does not always have the same emotional resilience as an adult when it comes to being judged, hearing off the cuff remarks judging their parent(s), being constantly visible (stares, double takes, faces), verbally aggressive catcalling and pointing.

You can't really guarantee that the above won't happen becuase unles syou are a hemit you don't have much control over the gen pubs reactions. And parent who is convinced they have done a fabulous thing for their child may render themselves oblivious to any fall out. As a result perhaps not being that sensitive to (or even aware of) how their child is coping with their "standing out-ness"

A secondary concern would be what the potentially darker underlying motivations of the mother might be.

Given that dyed hair in young children is uncommon, it may be that a parent is quite keen on attention, in whatever form it comes and (for a variety of possible reasons) have altered their child's appearance in a controversial way as a provocative proxy, in order to stimulate much greater levels of visibility and\or notoriety for themselves.

Which would be worrying for reasons that go well beyond the colour of anybody's hair.

I have a much better understanding of the situation now Cheermum has explained the intentions of the makeup, hair dye etc - very different from what I had initially assumed. This probably means a. I jump to conclusions too easily and b. I came over as pretty judgmental!

I'm a bit shocked by the strength of some of these comments! Hope there have been some useful comments amidst all this, Cheermum.

Nice bit of judgeypantness there..."council housed and violent."

Don't see the problem with a kid sticking a fun wash out colour on their hair tbh.

Better than doing what dd did, sticking a bottle of royal blue food colouring on her blonde curly bonce after a trip to the circus, now THAT was fun to clean up

Vegetable semi-permanent ones are harmless, DD2 has hers done in the holidays - her choice and it comes out after a few weeks.

I think there's some dispute about that Cheermum, most people think it comes from a Romany word for children, hence it being used about Travellers originally.
And also, Blimey.

Oh I would. The happy child would be the one that hadn't had its hair dyed.

Chav = Cheltenham Average, no?

Hmm - not basing this on anything scientific, but I do think that a small proportion of the chemicals we put on our hair/skin might well be absorbed into the body.
So that's why I wouldn't let my dd use anything other than vegetable-based dyes on her hair if she were a young child (she's 17 and it never cropped up.)

Actually, I think Madame Lupino is right.

My point (which you seem to have missed or ignored) is that you seem to be happy to let your child do whatever she likes "for fun". I was just giving a few more extreme examples of what a child might like to do "for fun", and to see if you would be happy with these.

The Chavmum was a typo - apologies - I wondered why we were having this conversation and then scrolled back to see what I had typed.

I think you would have to be a MASSIVE sourpuss to get a catsbum mouth about children playing with wash out/vegetable dyes or experimenting with mums makeup drawer. We used to raid my mums make up drawer and would normally ise it to make ourselves up like ghosts/jessica rabbit/rambo and then play act. All part of being a child.

Nice arguments fastweb.

I think that they are some well thought out points.

Dyed hair on a 7 year old. DSD's mum used to dye DSD's hair when she was 4 or 5. DSD was born blonde (like her mum) but by the time she was 4 her hair was getting darker (like her dad's) so her mum would dye it because she didn't want DSD looking like her dad. She stopped eventually when her (maternal) gran found out and ballistic. Thankfully it didn't effect hair at all, and apart from some highlights for her 12th birthday has only just started dyeing her hair at the age 18. Funnily enough she's gradually going darker and insists on getting it done professionally.

I started dyeing my hair when I was 12 (why mum why)? And I never stopped. 21 years later and my once lovely thick curly hair is falling out in the fistfuls and is so thin you can see my scalp (tis dark brown though). I have to style it a certain way everyday so I don't look like I'm going baldy. And now I can't stop dyeing it because most of my roots are grey, at the grand old age of 33. I'll probably be bald by the time I'm 40.

• went ballistic and her hair. Teach me not to preview.

Chemically treating a child's hair is not cool...

I might not be popular with my post here
DDs 13 and has never dyed her hair, I will not allow her I have told her when she is 16 then it will be her choice

Im happy for her to have a modern cut from hairdressers, but no dye.

Im not a overly strict parent, just want DD to feel comfortable being herself.
She experimented with foundation last year [most of the time she looked like she had been tangoed left a big mark on her jaw etc], which I was fine with [obvs told her face was too orange, wiped jaw lines for her], but now she does not bother [think it was just something her friends were doing at the time]

There seems to be a trend for this...I have noticed the same thing on my FB..the kids look silly at best and then dreadful as it grows out. cheermum this is not a case of judgy pants (stupid expression) butof common sense and class prevailing.

cheermum Chav did not originally mean Council Housed and Violent it comes from the Romany word for child or youth "Chavi" and possibly from the Geordie dialect "Charva" for "rough child" the two words could have come from the same place....it''s nothing to do with council houses.....that's a later acronym.

No, CheerMum, no-one knows where Chav originated from or what it originially stood for. Around here it started of as charver and was used as slang from friend/mate.

I actually have no problem with young girls or boys experimenting with their hair and with colours, I just don't see why it needs to be a permanent colour. As I said I do allow 8 year old dd1 to use temporary colours over school holidays if she asks to. Its started out because my sister started dying her fringe bright colours and dd1 wanted to copy. She is going to the hairdressers with me later and will probably end up coming back with cobalt or purple streaks, which will be semi permanent extensions, if I know her (my sister is also getting some done).

It doesn't have to be a toss up between saying no completely and allowing your child to ruin their hair. What happens if your daughter doesn't like the colour? You cannot just wash it out and dying over it often makes it worse. What happens if she is bullied or it causes trouble at school?

I also agree with whoever said you cannot lighten hair without bleach. Bleach is damaging to the hair. Any chemical process is damaging to the hair, even modern hair dyes weaken the hair over time.