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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think colouring a childs hair is a bit ugh?

109 replies

shelfy74 · 05/08/2011 16:33

An old school friend has posted pictures on fb of her colouring her blonde daughters hair bright red with proper permanent dye. Child is 7. Everyone is commenting, saying "it looks fab". I dye my own hair, it's harmless as far as I know, but is it ok to do a 7 year olds?? I really don't know now. But then I'm very tired and it's none of my business so I guess this is a bit pointless really.

OP posts:
SpottyFrock · 05/08/2011 18:39

Jambalaya, I'm not particularly directing that at you. I don't know you or your daughter.

OTheHugeManatee · 05/08/2011 18:47

I would hoik my judgy pants right up at this. Dyeing a 7-year-old's hair is just tacky Hmm

banana87 · 05/08/2011 18:48

Inappropriate.

DontCallMePeanut · 05/08/2011 18:54

I nearly asked this the other day. A friend has recently highlighted her daughters hair... The girl in question is 5 Shock

DontCallMeBaby · 05/08/2011 18:59

I wouldn't put permanent hair dye on a 7yo, no. But I am quite tempted to put pink streaks in DD's hair - I have a temporary dye that I got to put on mine, but I need to lighten my (purple) hair first to use it, and I CBA. But DD is blonde and it would take beautifully. Tacky? Probably. As are the pink and purple fake eyelashes she's been wearing on and off for the last few days. She likes tacky, she has the rest of her life to be tasteful and understated.

ouryve · 05/08/2011 19:02

Temporary colour for fun, fair enough. Permanent colour (which contains a lot of irritating chemicals, which is why salons insist on a patch test) on a 7 year old is pretty ridiculous.

catgirl1976 · 05/08/2011 19:03

I can understand temporary colour for a fancy dress party or festival etc, but as a day to day "Look" - very tacky.

JambalayaCodfishPie · 05/08/2011 19:08

"She likes tacky, she has the rest of her life to be tasteful and understated."

Thank You !!

Theres a big difference between doing something to attempt to enhance a childs beauty/age them, and doing something temporary and harmless for a bit of fun.

notlettingthefearshow · 05/08/2011 19:09

No way. It's so sad (not to mention tacky) seeing kids with dyed hair. It's worse than make up and pierced ears.

Teach her to love the way she looks as she is. Adulthood comes quickly enough.

CheerMum · 05/08/2011 19:11

oh dear, i'm back again. Yes, i let my daughter wear makeup if she wants to - the last time she did she drew a beard on herself using black eyeliner. for her, it is about having fun, it's got nothing to do with trying to look a certain way, or be grown up or whatever, it's about having a bit of fun. actually, she can't stand trying to look "grown up" and delights in drawing silly shapes on herself with makeup.

her hair is dyed, but in amazing condition. she has sensitive skin but has never had any problems with her hair dyes ... some of you will need to sit down for this next bit......

when she was six she fancied a big blonde streak through the front of her hair - AND I LET HER (not bleach i hasten to add - even as an irreponsible judged parent i have some limits)

when she was 7 and again at 8 she wanted BLACk streaks through her hair AND I LET HER

My daughter is having a fab fun childhood playing with her hair. if she wants it all cut short then she can, because it's her hair and her choice. if she want to change the colour she can, because it's her hair and her choice.

remember fun - when we could dress up and pretend and have a laugh???
i do, and so does my daughter.

JambalayaCodfishPie · 05/08/2011 19:15

Thank you Cheermum, i fear you and Dontcallmebaby are doing a far better job of explaining childhood fun than I am!

befuzzled · 05/08/2011 19:16

tsk

GrimmaTheNome · 05/08/2011 19:23

One of DDs school rules is that hair must be 'a natural colour' - doesn't say no dye, but purple would be a no-no. I think this is a fairly common rule in secondary schools - if primaries don't have it, its probably because they tend not to need it.

A bit of spray or wash-out colour over the summer is harmless enough fun, wouldn't don me JPs for that.

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 05/08/2011 19:23

For me it would be - never permanent, why would you do that? and for fun, fine, is dd wanted green streaks, I could live with that, but to 'look pretty' no way, whole life of that kind of bollocks ahead of them.

For this reason I have no problems painting ds's nails, but hate doing dd's.

Pseudo341 · 05/08/2011 19:24

I had disgusting lank greasy hair from early teens and probably a few years before and had massive confidence issues because of it. In my early thirties I started dying it to hide the grey and suddenly it looks much better, I wish I'd known I'd have been doing it much sooner. If my DD is unfortunate enough to have inherited my hair she can dye it as soon as she likes, I wouldn't sit by and let her suffer like I did. I would restrict her to a near match for her own colour to start with though, save the purple and green for late teens.

janelikesjam · 05/08/2011 19:24

I agree about children looking fantastic naturally and ultimately it is tacky to start messing with that.

CheerMum · 05/08/2011 19:31

i agree that dyeing a child's hair so that they will look more grown up or more "attractive" is really icky.

dd and i sit and watch Toddlers and Tiaras together (it's a tv show about american beauty pageants for kids) and we are torn between laughter and tears for the poor girls being taught that they need to alter themselves in order to be considered "beautiful".

my dd knows that she is beautiful...and smart and funny and perfect just the way she is.

at the moment she is going through an emo/goth phase - hence the purple and black hair. i actively support her right to choose how she looks because i know she is making her choices based on what SHE wants, rather than some image that she feels she should adhere to.

SpottyFrock · 05/08/2011 19:35

Yes, to the school thing too. School would be on the phone to me by 9.05 is they went in with hair colour that isn't natural.

CheerMum · 05/08/2011 19:41

ahhh the joys of home education

Original poster
shelfy74 · 05/08/2011 19:44

Pretty much unanimous then. Thing is, the actual colour achieved is amazing and one I have tried (and failed) to get. But I think whoever said it's not a safety thing, it's a childhood thing, hit the nail on the head for me.

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 05/08/2011 20:41

Cheermum - if your daughter wanted to shit on the stairs and smear it over the banisters for fun, WOULD YOU LET HER?

If she fancied having sex, for fun, when she was eleven, WOULD YOU LET HER?

This is a child, there need to be limits, and you, as the "responsible" adult need to draw them.

And how can you get a big blonde streak without bleaching hair? You can't. You might say "Oh I tint it" - but that still involves bleach.

Emo? Goth? At her age? Oh my stars...

JambalayaCodfishPie · 05/08/2011 20:50

Good God. Someone get MrsSchadenfreude a glass of wine.

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/08/2011 20:53

Got one, thanks!

alowVeraWithPurpleTwuntyPants · 05/08/2011 20:55

Personally I would not let my dd dye her hair. But as it has such an array of natural colours in it highlights wouldn't have a noticeable affect on the colour.

My only problem with sun-in is it can dry out and damage the hair. But then so does swimming. So promptly dropping that argument.

I'll just leave it as I wouldn't dye my dd's hair. (she's 5 btw)

JambalayaCodfishPie · 05/08/2011 21:01

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