To worry about baby led weaning

[MoominsAreScary]

oldest two were weaned on liquidized food years ago, any tips on first finger foods and anyone's experiences especially regarding prem babies and baby led weaning ?

Having done purees with DS1 & BLW with DS2, I can see both sides of the argument. DS1 needed 'force feeding' (he had a misdiagnosed hernia which meant he projectile vomitted until he was 2 and resulted in him having a fear of food which has not particularly inproved and he is now 5). DS2 refused spoon feeding from the start so without BLW he would not have eaten. DS2 has a wonderful interest in food and will explore anything!

My advice would be to see what works for you. Does it have to be one or the other? Can you combine and try a bit of both? If you do try BLW, you need to remember to relax & not worry about what they are/aren't eating!

Good luck!

I loved BLW - did it with DS2 - and he is way better eater than his puree fed brother - who really struggled with lumps and would have loved BLW - reached for food early and v independant. Its was easier and less stressful for me as well
I think the interesting point with that article is that there are some children - it said about 6 % who don't reach for food and I would guess also don't sit well unsupported at 6 months or so - I would guess quite a few of them would be prem - also babies vary a lot about how interested they are - my friend had a puree fed baby that ate very little until 8 months or so - perfectly healthly.
I think you need to make a judgement about what works for your DS - what he needs and is ready for

They are all different. Those who say they are good eaters with BLW would have found they were good eaters regardless.
I'm not at all keen on having meals with the baby grabbing what it fancies! I still think that it is parent controlled-I can't see many parents being pleased with the baby sitting on MIL lap and grabbing chocolate gateaux! That would be babyled and the baby would be perfectly happy.
The general term means that the baby is firmly under mother's control and has limited choice over what it grabs! There is nothing baby led about it. A baby with vegetarian parents would be helping themselves to meat-if it was baby led-how would they know?

I don't think you have to do one or the other exclusively, and I know no-one who started on purees who hasn't introduced substantial amounts of finger foods by 9 mo anyway.

Flexibility/do what works is the way forward IMO.

It always was flexible people have always done both -it is a shame that people are now made to feel that one way is 'right'.

Exotic, the label 'baby-led weaning' isn't the best really.
'Self-feeding' is more complete.
The main 'baby-led' aspect is the age at which they are capable of picking something up and put it in their mouth.
Of course the parent is in control of what is places in front of the child, but the baby has more control of the piece of broccoli if it hasn't been mushed up and mixed with some other unidentifiable fruit or vegetable.

I did a mix of fingerfood / stuff mashed up with a fork. DS would get frustrated with just fingerfoods as he was hungry but a few spoonfuls would take the edge off and then he could do the rest himself.

I think you should do what works for you and your baby rather than getting hung up on one ideology or another.

It is the terms and the ideology that I hate! It depends entirely on the DC -some will crawl, some will miss out that stage and walk, some will bottom shuffle. It really doesn't matter-they all walk in the end. They will all eat a balanced diet with the family in the end-as Gracie says 'do what works for you and your baby' -that is far more baby led than the mother deciding what she thinks best and wrapping it up as coming from the baby!

We did mostly finger foods with the odd spoon of puree thrown in, although DD never really took to puree. The biggest advantage I can see with it is that you're unlikely to get a child such as some I've seen who won't progress from puree to lumps. Other than that, do what you want, no biggie.

My 3rd child didn't fully wean until 2 - up until then he was very much breast fed with just snacks of real food, he didn't seem to consider a meal a meal, thinking it more like something fun. I had been trying to do baby-led weaning, but it was getting a bit silly, I was nursing him 30-40 times a day for 5 minutes at a time... so we reduced the amount of opportunity he had for feeding by getting him out of the house for longer periods and he gradually increased food intake. He weaned straight on to sausages... but his earliest foods were actually gherkins! We gave him a great long slice at a cafe when he was 4 months and he loved it, weird child... naan bread was another favourite, rice puddings etc. Broccoli is easy for a small child to hold and soft enough to chew easily...

My baby was tongue-tied so I didn't realise that all the gagging and choking that people seemed to refer to, was actually a sign of something more serious til she choked and stopped breathing for what seemed like the longest period of my life. She had a mixture of mashed up food (our food mashed) and semi-pureed food (no jars ever, hated the taste). I was wrongly reassured that a bit of gagging was normal, when I actually saw another baby eating and the mum saying 'she's gagging a bit', I realised that my daughter's reactions were more extreme.

So: don't be led by a philosophy, go off your experience of what works for your child.

I BLW my second, even though I didn't know it was called that. Worked well for her, but I have a friend whose child is now over one and her BLW just doesn't seem to have taken off with him, he eats very little and still relies on them to break off bits/constant encouragement, left to his own devices, he appears not to be motivated to feed himself. Not sure what you do then.

Absolutely flexibility is needed. But the principle of encouraging self-feeding where possible seems a sound starting point.

I only recently worked out what BLW was!
I still don't get what is supposed to be wrong with mashing up a bit of whatever you are having and feeding with a spoon.
That doesn't mean you can't give them finger food too, does it?

My ds would just sit there and open his mouth when he saw the spoon and was on 3 square meals a day by eight months!
He is still a good eater,(not remotely fat), not at all fussy, and when he could grab the spoon off me, he did and just got on with it.

It's just common sense!
I know someone whose 18 month old just seems to suck pizza crusts and eat the odd chip, most off which end up half masticated all over the carpet.
I can't see how that is a better start to being well nourished.

Dont be swayed by fashion OP because thats all it is.

The problem with Common Sense is that it is not that common.

And I don't understand the "shuvelling a load of gunk down their throats" comment, I just spoon feed my daughter when she opens her mouth. It is normally the same food as we eat, and I don't feed my family gunk!

I agree!

10 years ago I gave my ds a mixture of puree and finger foods, he soon made it clear if he didn't want it!

I wish someone would tell me how you force feed a baby? I don't think it possible.
I am forced to agree, Morloth, that Common Sense isn't common.
I predict that it is a fad-something else will have taken it's place in a few years time.

exotic I clearly remember ds just turning his head or clamping his mouth shut if he didn't want it - no way could I force feed him!

I feed mine with a tube a nice French man with geese gave me. I'll move her to Big Macs when she's 18 months, isn't that what you do when you don't have a cute acronym for your 'whatever mood we are both on on the day method'?

If you could force feed DCs you wouldn't have anguished threads about DCs who won't eat! The answer would be simple-'get a spoon and force it down'!! It doesn't work.

If you ff or do purees then you are FORCE FEEDING your baby.

That's how it normally goes isn't it?

I offered ds a spoon of mushed up dinner and he decided wether to open his gob or not depending on how he felt

OP Regarding the prem concern - I was told to adjust ds's age by how prem he was -so add 8 weeks on - does that make sense? ( I didn't actually have to do that in the end as by ds's predicted due date he was bang on 7 lbs so no longer considered prem)

When DD was 17 weeks old she stole another child's toast at nursery! A rather large hint to me and the HV that is poor baby who had nearly, but not quite fallen off the bottom of the weight charts actually needed solid food to get back to her birth centile. Pomme please don't label all of us who FF as force feeding, as the reason my DD fell so low in the first place was because I can not produce milk with sufficient nutrients in it. I would have loved to BF, but nearly killed her trying.
As a result of the toast I did a bit of both spoon feeding and her feeding herself. I didn't worry about what it was called.

Lizcat - I was being sarcastic. I hate it when people say that ff or purees are like force feeding and cause obsesity and all that rubbish. I think it's a very 'trendy' opinion and I despise it.

Sorry to have not been clear.

I also ended up ff and I weaned at 17 weeks with purees. I have no regrets, I feel I responded to dd's needs and my own. My second may be the same or totally different and I hope to act in tune with them as well.

Feed your baby however you want. I think in the end it comes down to what you find easiest. You're the one who has to prepare the food and clean up after.

I do think it's ridiculous though to cite choking risk as a reason not to BLW. A baby can choke on liquid or puree just as easily as on solids.

If a baby gags on food you should 'sit on your hands'. What else would you do? Stick your fingers in its mouth and risk pushing food down their windpipe? Gagging isn't choking. It's the defense mechanism against choking.

I wouldn't ever feed a baby or toddler whole grapes, ever since the thread I read on here a few months ago.

Don't think it's always about commen sense, if he'd been born closer to his due date likes his brothers I'd have just fed him when I thought he was ready,

The hv told me to leave him a couple of weeks after he turns 6 months and if he's sitting well finger foods would be a good idea to try, she also told me to check out the bliss website which I've just done ( took ages to find any info on weaning! ) there advice is any time after 5 months as prem babies often need weaning abit earlier due to increased risk of iron deficiency and not to start with finger foods

Advice seems to be conflicting! Have to admit I'm prob abit more worried about it all due to him being prem!