To worry about baby led weaning

[MoominsAreScary]

oldest two were weaned on liquidized food years ago, any tips on first finger foods and anyone's experiences especially regarding prem babies and baby led weaning ?

You can buy a plastic table cloth for kids parties for about £2 and put that under their high chair. And then just give them back the things they throw on the floor.

I do both types of feeding. Fruit to play with at breakfast. Half a jar at lunch and then a finger food version of our dinner. I did have trouble because our dinner normally always comes with a sauce but now I just give him the sauce too and bath him afterwards.

I do like baby led weaning if that's what all the cool mums are calling it but I don't want to be in the cool mums club.

I am not keen on the idea. I can see the principle. But it just feels wierd. Sitting on your hands when your baby gags, (which is a hint I read on another thread) seems like madness. Both my DCs were puree fed. One is picky, one eats anything. One eats loads, one picks. They were both fed the foods we ate, pureed. What makes BWL so revolutionary? Why is it better than puree?

Who said you had to sit on your hands while your baby gags?

Tbh I did BLW and think dd2 only gagged once and I certainly didn't sit on my hands.

He's 23 weeks now so not quite at the point where he's ready to try, have been told to give it another 4- 6 weeks and see what we think then, he was 8 weeks prem but has caught up realy well , he's over 16 lbs now and can sit pretty well in the high chair, I've been sitting him in it for the last week because he realy likes to be sat up, he has started picking toys and his dummy up off the tray and can put them in his mouth so I'm thinking that in the next 4 weeks he should be sitting up better and we will then just wait for the usual signs that he's ready to try food.

Saggy It's not better than puree, it's just what suits the individual - eventually they all end up eating the same things the same way. I doubt there are many who did BLW who would say it is any better than spoon feeding.

The concept of spoon feeding felt as weird to me as BLW probably did to you. To me it seemed bizarre that I spent 6 months getting my DD to do things for herself but then to spoon feed her when she was capable of picking up the food and eating it herself. If I didn't have to arse about with a blender, even better.

I certainly don't agree with sitting on your hands when your baby gags, and never have done myself - and I don't think it's revolutionary, many MNers have said that their parents didn't bother with puree and just gave them 'normal' food but that it just didn't have a fancy name then!

Gagging isn't choking Saggy, it's them learning what size chunk they can manage.
It's not revolutionary, it's just been newly-framed for this generation of mothers, as purees had become the norm and we like fancy names for parenting approaches.

The advantages of baby-led weaning are that the baby is definitely ready to eat, because it's feeding itself. No too early weaning. They get to get to grips with actually solid food straight away, which is the point of weaning after all, develop their self-feeding ability, and learn about their own appetite.

I did blw ridiculously militantly with DS and was disappointed I then had to purée with DD cos she's prem (I'm v lazy and hate making purée - silly I know). Tbh she's only just managed to sit in a highchair at 6 mo corrected so it would have been difficult to blw before.

I'm sure you've heard the guidance re weaning premmies according to actual not corrected age cos they are more prone to iron deficiency etc. That blw book only has a paragraph on prems and says you might want to start on purees/mixed feeding but it pretty much depends on your individual babies ability.

I'm slowly switching from purée to now DD is 6 months corrected (i.e. she's offered the same things as my 2yr old now plus a bit of purée before or after) but she's definitely not got the motor skills of an equivalent term baby, even corrected so I'm going slow. Having said that her favourite food so far is fried rice which I never expected her to manage but she just sticks her face in and troughs it

My DS was 6.5 weeks prem. I did purees at 6mo actual - no way he could have sat in a highchair, let alone grabbed anything at that stage. Did lumps at 7mo then at 8mo he refused to let me feed him at tea time (and could by then sit up in a high chair, just). So we did finger foods instead, which is effectively BLW. He would have porridge in the morning, spoonfed, followed by a puree at lunch, then a finger food tea. Did this till 10mo when we went BLW for lunch and tea and at 12mo I let him loose on the spoon himself for breakfast.

Since about 13mo I've just been chucking food in his general direction and it inevitably disappears. He can use a fork now at 20mo.

YABU because you are not asking an AIBU question at all and this thread would be much better placed in the weaning section

AIBU to worry about baby led weaning? Why us that not an AIBU?

My 7 mo DD gags and nearly choked on a piece of food, it was very very scary. I puree most things now and give her certain food in one of those mesh feeder things. I just don't think it's for her.

I loved blw, I did it with dd2 and found it far less stressful for both her and me than when I did traditional weaning with dd1.

As others have said gagging is different to choking. Babies have a very strong gag reflex, that is very far forward in their mouths until they are about a yr old, for the very reason that they could learn to eat safely in the years before food processors have been around. When you spoon feed you are actually pushing the food further into their mouth past where the gag reflex is so there can actually be a higher risk of choking as they are not able to control it themselves.

I also think its important to let a baby respond to their own appetite and be allowed to decided when they are hungry and when they have had enough. Some may think its a stretch but I believe there is something in the theory that shovelling and coaxing food into a baby's mouth can potentially lead to eating disorders later in life.

As others have said each to their own, but I am a firm believer in blw.

Anything can be overdone...at least if you start with BLW, you can add in some puree if you are worried about quantity of food taken. Pre-loaded spoons are your friend - your DC can pick them up and eat from them as if they are a finger food - the DC then isn't put off by being spoonfed if they aren't used to it.

I did BLW with my DC until 11mo when we went on holiday - hotel had little suitable food and we got some jars for DC. He gagged more often in that week on holiday than he did in his life before or since. DC has never choked and has not vomited in over a year. DC is now 23mo and has had / is having a fussy stage, but has wide-ranging tastes e.g. curry, garlic bread, most fruit and veg, doesn't like cake, chocolate or ice-cream. Still likes to have ready-made toddler dishes - AARGH! when given the chance, e.g. at Grandma's. Well co-ordinated when using spoon and fork, less so with knife and fork.

DN was exclusively puree-fed, gags at every single meal and snack, frequently vomits and at 18mo is not allowed to hold a spoon ever - though does eat some fairly solid items from the spoon e.g. small piece of boiled potato. Main meals are still porridge (salted) or purees. Avid consumer of cake. SIL believes he would have choked with BLW, that BLW destroys the stomach lining and that he will destroy their house if given a spoon. She admits to having no evidence about BLW, and I admit to having no evidence that DN won't destroy their house - though I do wonder if DN is plotting revenge

Meh, why on earth would there need to be any research into BLW?

If purees worked for your older two, do that. If you want to try something different, do that.

It really won't make much difference.

Most people from the beginning of time have fed the baby some mushed up (or prechewed) stuff and also some bits and pieces of other stuff.

This is madness I tell you, madness.

Moomins - I understand why you're concerned but if your DS is sitting up and able to grab things like his dummy already, I don't think he's got the sort of developmental delay this study was talking about. I imagine what the study's saying is if there are excellent reasons why a child will not sit up / grab anywhere near on time, it might not be a good idea to use that as a weaning cue. I think in your position (as far as one can tell from the internet!) I would BLW if I wanted to. I did with DD and loved it. Enjoy.

Whatever worked for first two has darn good chance of working for a third. The way some of these theorists go on you'd think no one had managed to wean a baby in the last million years or so.

I agree with Morloth-madness. Just do what you want to do-to puree or not to puree doesn't matter in the least! Try them both-it doesn't have to be exclusively one or the other. The baby will decide if they like it or not. As usual, it isn't babyled-the parent makes all the decisions!

The aim is to have them eating the same as you asp, how you get there doesn't matter-you really don't need to 'research' it-go with your instinct.

My DD wouldn't let me put a spoon near her mouth by the time I started weaning at 6 months and so the default was just to let her have bits and pieces off my plate. It worked really well and she eats pretty much everything. I had no idea I was in fact following a "parental technique".

Regarding nutritional deficiency I would have thought there was at least an equivalent risk of children cutting down on milk too soon having filled up on purees but I haven't done any reading up on the subject?

I really don't think they are going to fill up on a few spoonfuls of pureed apple.

I was terrified of BLW due to a friend of a family member whose toddler died after choaking on a grape. I am not saying BLW is dangerous but this story scared the life out of us so we pureed everything for ages, was all homemade healthy stuff though, tried to get ds to eat occasional bought jar food but he hated them worse luck for me! If you are happy with old fashioned trad weaning then go for it. We never 'force fed' ds to fatten him up, didn"t realise that spoon feeding had a,reputation for this!

This is where it is all wrong CamaLlamaDown, you do what you are comfortable with. You can't force feed a baby-they won't swallow if they don't want it.
Baby led is the wrong term. The parent decides when the baby will eat and the parent decides what the baby will eat. The baby has the choice of take it or leave it, in the same way they have a choice of take it or leave it with a spoon of puree.
As an adult I like my bananas mashed! Luckily I can get a fork and do it. The baby has no choice-it would only be baby led if they could manage 'excuse me, I would prefer my banana mashed'!!

DS (DC1) was weaned on purees, but I struggled to transfer him to any lumpy foods. He is still a pickyish eater, doesnt like anyhting he has to chew too much like meat.

DD1 (DC2) was BLW, clamped her jaw shut if she saw a spoon approaching in someone else's hand. But she was pretty sickly from 6-15 months (had croup which turned into tummy bug about 4 times), didnt put on enough weight and ended up on a paeditrician referral and high fat diet. She will eat absolutely anything going now, and is happy to try new things.

DD2 was mix fed. Porridge for breakfast, finger food snacks, finger food lunch with custard for pudding etc. She always had her own spoon, and as we all eat together she very quickly moved towards feediing herself. She maintained healthy weight gain, but will (at the moment at 2.3) try new foods and eats anything and everything.

It is important to be flexible, depending on the baby and rest of the family's needs. You dont have to stick religiously to one approach...tbh I dont think many people do. Try to ensure they eat enough, but also introduce lumps early on.

My experience of BLW is as follows:
I have two children who were both adopted at 10 months.

DS's foster cater spoon fed him from jars and stuff like Heinz mums own and when he came to me I gradually introduced my own home made meals using various baby and toddler recipe books.I continued to spoon feed him. He eats a really varied and healthy diet and is a good eater. The problem was trying to get him to feed himself! I'm sure he would still rather be spoon fed now and he is almost 6!

My DD's foster carer followed BLW. I found it to be a nightmare.Food everywhere, the highchair and my DD needed jet washing after every meal! She refused to allow me to feed her and still won't. She is now 3 and still just picks at her food. I sometimes wonder what keeps her going. She is incredibly fussy and will not touch vegetables. She does at least eat chopped up fruit. On the positive side she was much quicker to master a knife and fork than my DD

From an the point of view of an adoptive mother I also found that spoon feeding allowed me good bonding time with my DS. Bonding with DD took longer as she wanted to feed herself and wanted to be left alone while eating.

We love BLW. Entirely baby led because DD sat on someone's lap at nearly every meal since birth and one day decided to grab some food and get on with it. No pureeing, no special baby meals, just exactly the same food as us for every meal. I'm far too lazy and, due to working full time, don't have loads of time to prepare special 'baby' meals.

Regarding the "sitting on hands" quote, what I actually said (if it was my comment that was being referred to) was to sit on the hands and count to 10 if baby gagged. This prevents a knee-jerk reaction and possibly dangerous habit of trying to scoop the food out with a finger which can result in pushing it further down the throat. Part of BLW is babies learning to move food around the mouth by themselves so when/if they gag, they manage to move the food to the front of the mouth by themselves, so the 10 second rule allows parents to learn that babies can do this for themselves. I don't think I ever counted further than 5 before DD had managed to shift the food herself. I'm guessing the people commenting on my comment don't understand the difference between choking (dangerous) and gagging (not dangerous). Oh, and sitting on hands doesn't mean that the adults weren't ready to spring into action should DD have become distressed.