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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stab the next person who complains about their baby waking once during the night through the eye with a citrus reamer

96 replies

MrsWifty · 04/08/2011 20:23

With the bouts of hot and humid weather lately, I'm beginning to lose count of the number of new mums I know complaining their babies are sleeping badly and how so very tired they are. But invariably on further investigation, it seems that their precious bundles of joy are rousing but once during the night. Once!

As the proud parent of a bouncing little bugger DS who has never slept for longer than two hours since the day after he was born almost five months ago, AIBU to imagine increasingly grotesque and violent ways to respond? And can I just double check that should I accidentally carry any out, that sleep deprivation is a reasonable justification in court?

OP posts:
hophophippidtyhop · 04/08/2011 23:46

or 'roughly every three', even.

keepingupwiththejoneses · 04/08/2011 23:51

DS3 is 5 and hardly ever sleeps through, he can wake for hours on end every night. He is now on medication to sleep but is often awake by 4-5am, he has asd and has no concept of night and day.

CareyHunt · 04/08/2011 23:53

None of mine slept. It is a total mystery to me how anyone gets a baby that sleeps through.

Ds2 was the worst...ADHD and horrific eczema meant he was about 6 before he slept more than a couple of hours in a row.

I always thought 'sleeping through' meant from about midnight until it was a bit light (4am ish) I'd have been delighted with that. I was Shock when I realised that some babies sleep for 12 bloody hours, and that their parents are a bit put out if they don't.

Go for it with the reamer.

michelleseashell · 05/08/2011 00:11

I love you all.

Except the bastard who suggested that co sleeping is some kind of through the night wonder panacea. What a load of bullshit. Yes, I don't have to physically get up but he still wakes up and I AM MORE UNCOMFORTABLE THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE

Thank god at seven months we moved him in his own room and occasionally get six hours straight out of him. Only trouble is I have now forgotten how to sleep longer than four hours. Bullshit bullshit bullshit

greenbananas · 05/08/2011 01:16

Everybody knows somebody whose baby 'slept through' at 8 weeks, but this is the exception, not the rule. I don't think babies are designed to sleep through the night at 5 months old. Their tummies are still too little and they need feeding.

michelleseashell, how Sad that you have had such a negative experience of co-sleeping. I really did find it to be a "through the night wonder panacea".

DS woke up at least once every night until he was 2 years old, but it didn't bother me at all - I simply rolled over, plugged in a breast and went back to sleep. I wasn't uncomfortable, but this is probably because we shared a big double mattress on the floor with DH on a single mattress next to us - not everyone's choice of stylish bedroom furniture!)

LolaRennt · 05/08/2011 01:27

Dunno, you're being a wee bit harsh.

LolaRennt · 05/08/2011 01:29

Oh dd really did sleep through from almost day 1.

Its sounds like a great thing but it did fuck me for BF, contrary to whatevery midwife told me you can not wake a sleeping baby who doesnt want to wake up. ONe of several reasons I dried up like the Sarahe I suppose.

GotArt · 05/08/2011 01:38

I love co-sleeping, but some nights are horrendous as DD2 is restless and fidgets. Drives me nuts. DD2 still wakes at night at 2.7 y. Drives me nuts. I ignore anyone talking of sleep filled nights.

saffronwblue · 05/08/2011 01:42

Citrus reamer completely reasonable. I wish I had had one when someone in my mother's group said "Isn't it boring when they are just asleep for hours - I don't know how to fill the evenings!"

Bubbaluv · 05/08/2011 01:59

YABU but understandably so given your sleep deprivation.
Can I suggest getting some professional help? A sleep school type of thing or a maternity nurse short-term?
Help is out there and unless there is something wrong with your bub (sorry if you mentioned reflux of something and I missed it) then your situation can be vastly improved.
Up to you (and your finances I guess).
Anyway, my other suggestion is the pillow over the head cure (your head not the babys!!!). Works like a dream but is not for everyone.

emmanumber3 · 05/08/2011 02:01

YANBU re: stabbing. DS1 was a dreadful sleeper from birth until about age 5! In fact he's 13 now & I can still hear him moving about in his room at this time of the morning!

discrete - my dad had sleep apneoa too & was told he probably had had it for nigh on 30 years. He also passed away shortly after diagnosis but from cancer rather than heart problems. Still, though, I think it is definitely not taken seriously enough or enough known about - the strain on the body over such a long period of time is huge.

Original poster
MrsWifty · 05/08/2011 02:52

Saffron, that comment would have made me get creative with a mushroom brush, aargh!

Thanks all - we'll get there in the end I'm sure, and in some twisted way it's good to know we're not the only ones in the same boat. But I hope you'll forgive me for optimistically naively hoping we'll be able to disembark soon ... in the meantime I'm off to Lakeland to stock up on ammunition for they-don't-know-how-fucking-good-they've-got-it comments ...

OP posts:
michelleseashell · 05/08/2011 07:06

I have a very kicky, easily disturbed baby who wanted to latch on all night, greenbananas. Co sleeping meant I was able to get enough sleep to survive but I would wake up in the morning in so much pain from stiffness that I would lie crying because I literally couldn't get up.

Ugh, when was my last post? That's how much sleep I've had including two wakings. Now have to spend the whole day entertaining a baby. Could actually kill someone.

Andrewofgg · 05/08/2011 07:31

OP: what have you in mind for parents who boast how early their DC slept through the night?

LadyFlumpalot · 05/08/2011 07:32

I'm one of the lucky ones, DS sleeps well and has done since he was born. However, I know that I am lucky. I was 16 when my little sister was born - she has only just started sleeping through the night without getting up and going into dad and step-mums room. I am now 27.

I fully expect to be given a non-sleeper for the next child!

Andrewofgg · 05/08/2011 07:34

LadyFlumpalot - you are the one living dangerously!

VeronicaCake · 05/08/2011 07:40

No YANBU, and I think the citrus reamer is a nice touch.

But I warn you now that although right now you think you'd be fine with just three hours unbroken sleep, when you start getting that you'll want four. If you are used to unbroken nights just getting up once is hard.

And JanelikesJam - I breastfed, I co-slept and my baby still woke to play for several hours every fucking night until she was 8m old. Why do you imagine that co-sleeping will work for everyone just because it worked for you? And why are you arrogantly assuming that anyone who doesn't do things your way just wants to be a martyr?

gotobedsleepyhead · 05/08/2011 08:04

My dd is 2.8 and has slept through about 7 times in her life. I'm ok with our current set up - she starts off in her cot (won't fall asleep by herself mind you) & then when she wakes in the night she comes in with us. We've finally (I hope) emerged from the nights of endless & constant waking & not wanting to go back to sleep. Like many of you bf-ing and co-sleeping helped but did not solve her sleeping issues. Mainly I was too exhausted to deal with her anywhere other than my own bed.

I have a question though - we want to have another dc. We plan to wait a while but it's starting to dawn on me that she might not actually be in her own bed by then (as I had confidently and foolishly presumed until recently). So where does the poor new baby go? All sleeping together wouldn't work as she's a mummy clinger, and a major kicker.

Better get Gina Ford out Grin

Megatron · 05/08/2011 08:17

YANBU. Give them a good kicking while you're at it.

My DS didn't sleep through the night til he was 4. I also breastfed and co-slept but obviously I was doing it wrong eh Jane?

JumpJockey · 05/08/2011 08:22

Dd2 is 6 months and she slept for 4 hours in a row last night Grin
followed by waking every hour until 5 when she was up for the day [ hmm] just trying to get her to have her first 'nap' now. Hey, at least it's stopped being an 'I'm awake it's time to play' sesh from 2-4am, those glory days are hopefully past...

I reckon a melon baller could be put to good use on the eyes of complaining mums as well.

LisasCat · 05/08/2011 09:40

Can a special form of torture be devised for the DPs/DHs? Mine laid it on extra thick this morning about how exhausted he was, and what a struggle it was to get out of bed and go to work on time. Just because month-old DD2 had woken him at 4am (whereas every other night I manage to attend to her before she starts crying, thereby allowing DP to sleep through blissfully). He fully admits that he knows I work hard during the night, and he feels guilty for sleeping through it all and having no idea, but I know he still thinks I've got it easy being on ML.

The worst thing is, as DD1 is 4yo, and still a nightmare sleeper, being one month in to this one is very depressing when I consider that it may be at least another year before I experience the thrill of 8 straight hours sleep.

Poweredbypepsi · 05/08/2011 10:31

YANBU my dd has recenrly cut done to one wake up per night at 12 months. until 4 or 5 months she was feeding 2 hourly day and night after that it reduced to 3 or 4 hourly at night which felt like a lie in!

Original poster
MrsWifty · 05/08/2011 10:31

Andrew, how about being bludgeoned with a doidy cup? Not quite to death though, that might be a little U.

LisasCat, yyy! Mine does that too, it's so annoying. Something medieval for them, involving a corn grinder maybe? Or a spit roast?

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 05/08/2011 10:35

Then I won't mention how soon my DS slept through. But I will say that he was FF and I thoroughly enjoyed the night-shift while it lasted. Early stage of male bonding; turning a hungry and wet squeal into a warm, well-fed, contented sleep.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 05/08/2011 10:48

I think, really, that YABU as a citrus reamer is simply not enough. Rusty serrated knife I feel would be more suitable. Hammered in and then twisted further.