to stab the next person who complains about their baby waking once during the night through the eye with a citrus reamer

[MrsWifty]

With the bouts of hot and humid weather lately, I'm beginning to lose count of the number of new mums I know complaining their babies are sleeping badly and how so very tired they are. But invariably on further investigation, it seems that their precious bundles of joy are rousing but once during the night. Once!

As the proud parent of a bouncing little bugger DS who has never slept for longer than two hours since the day after he was born almost five months ago, AIBU to imagine increasingly grotesque and violent ways to respond? And can I just double check that should I accidentally carry any out, that sleep deprivation is a reasonable justification in court?

I agree wholeheartedly with discrete

My ds3 is nearly nineteen months and has never slept a whole night through. A good night is only getting up three times. And i breastfeed.

Did someone mention Gina Ford?

I thoroughly recommend her book!

Yanbu at all.

Make sure the citrus juice is still on it for extra sting.

ds2 is 14mths, still up between several and ??? times a night. Co sleeping helps.

Riven and Agent - yes, sorry about the poncey utensil, but I was afraid if I'd said vegetable knife you might think I was serious and call the police :)

genuinely curious, so please don't flame me... there seems to be a few co-sleepers who are saying that they haven't had a decent night's sleep - some for years so my question is , what are the benefits, then? Other than snuggling with a gorgeous DD or DS of course, but I meant in terms of them sleeping?

Awww Wifty, I dont know if this is any consolation, but just think of all the energy and trouble that the kids who are sleeping 12 hours can cause during the day!

I had two good sleepers or I would have ended up in a mental hospital/prison, I dont feel smug about it just really really sorry for the rest of you. Some children do naturally need less sleep it seems.

Im sure I am going to get pelters for this but I did used to sit DD1 in front of the washing machine and turn it on and it almost hypnotised her, dunno if that of any help to anyone, suppose it doesnt make them stay asleep.

I co sleep cos dd stops breathing. Otherwise i wouldnt! My others co slept for a year ir so but were great sleepers. Some children just dont sleep.

YANBU! I have a four month old who won't go more than an hour some nights.

purple it means I don't have to get out of bed ten times a night then sit up feeding DS if he's hungry then rocking him back to sleep and watching his eyes ping open as he hits his crib mattress. So I at least get some sleep but still get woken every hour to shush him or stick my nipple in his mouth and go back to sleep!

I would love GF to solve my dds sleep problems.

Plus he is v cute to wake up next to.

purple - for us it is co-sleep or no sleep!

Not so much a lifestyle choice as the only solution. Ds1 slept soundly in his cot from day1 (ish). Ds2, not a hope in hell!

Yanbu. My 5 month Ds wakes four times a night on average, and I have to be at work for 8.30 am and do two jobs whilst my husband is away for a freakin' month...I am delirious. Today I heard that a friend who has same age baby is having a maternity nurse because her baby woke ONCE in the night and it was all too much for her...am on the way round to hers as we speak with my garlic presser.

can i borrow it once you are finished op? my dd is 5 this month and has slept through the night ONCE in her life, that was at six weeks. her waking up twice is a good night for me. i am fed up with people telling me how tired they are because their child has been awake in the night.

Oh how mean of her to give you hope by sleeping through at 6 weeks - which neither of mine did - then never again!

I hate to tell you, but my DD3 didn't sleep through until she was six. Years, not months. And as DD1 didn't sleep through until she was four, and then I had DD2, who wasn't too bad, bless her, I had ten years of broken nights - and I mean three or four times a night. DD3 is nine now and I have just about recovered. Put DH right off having DC4 though.

YANBU. My own (D)D didn't sleep properly until she was 2. At 5 months I was very much where you were and hated the smug rested parents. Mine mostly still wakes 1x a night and she's 3, I count once a success. Recently we had a WHOLE WEEK of no waking, I was like a new woman. Amazing.

dd has definitely put me off having any more! ds 7 was a brilliant sleeper so i was lucky and then dd came along. People always think you are making it up when you tell them your child never sleeps and look at you like its something you as a parent have done.

YANBU DD has acid reflux and up to six months I could have strangled the next person who said "all babies cry". I remember the dread that used to set in in the evenings when the night is looming because you just know it's going to be hell. She did improve steadily from six months and now at 11 months has been sleeping through more often than not for over a month. I do have the good grace to say we've got it good right now and I know loads of people are still having a nightmare who have my sympathy.

Take comfort in the fact that however long the tunnel there is light at the end of it. At the extreme if he's still not able to sleep through the night when he's 18 he'll be able to make himself a sandwich and watch a DVD or something. Sometime between now and then things will get better.

In the meantime all I can suggest is that if DS's dad is on the scene you have the odd night where one of you does all of it and the other wears ear plugs and sleeps in the spare room so at least you get the occasional nights sleep. If grandparents are local and willing get them involved, we had them staying over on a rota for a month, there's nothing more welcome than a ready pair of arms to take the baby in the morning so you can get a few precious hours sleep.

Hang in there, and keep your lemon zester or whatever it was handy.

Last night dd stayed in her bed all night.
She is 4
Ds is currently next to me on the bed as I can not cope with getting up 4/5/6 times with him tonight.
He is 9 months and teething.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I really, really want ds and dd to let me have 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Is that too much to ask?

Can I borrow some kitchen implement to use on the women who was my midwife?
She told me I had to wake (and strip off to make uncomfortable if she refused to wake!!) DD every 3 hrs to feed her for the first 6 weeks and if I was tired I could leave it 4 hours.
Where's the bitch now DD is a year old and still won't go through???

I think anyone who smugly says that one method works either has only one child or has been lucky.
I did the same with all my children, all bf to sleep and the same bedtime routine.

Dd1 slept through at 8 weeks. That's 12 hours though, usually 8-8, sometimes 13-14 hours on some days. But if I put her down later, if we'd been out, she'd still sleep 12 hours straight. I obviously was a brilliant mother. She never woke more than once, even on her first night she slept 12 midnight until 6am.

Dd2 woke 1-2 times a night, but that was between 10pm and 7am. She did this until she was nearly 2yo. Btw jam, I tried co-sleeping for a few weeks. Didn't work. She was worse co-sleeping if anything.

Ds started sleeping through at 10 weeks just before the ear infections started. From 12 weeks until grommet in at 20 months he'd sleep through for 1-2 nights, then the infection would start again, and he'd wake 2-3 times a night for 1-2 night, then the ear infection would be in in earnest and he'd be up most of the night with pain in ears and tummy from the antibiotics for the rest of the 10 day cycle.

I don't usually post just to pull someone up on their comment but janelikesjam 'some women like to be conventional martrys'.... that is without doubt the rudest comment I've ever seen on MN (and I love the AIBU board). Listen carefully - just because something works for your child(ren) DOES NOT means that it automatically works for all children. How old are your children that you haven't learned this fact yet? I really hope you aren't making that kind of comment in rl.

For everyone else - you have my deepest sympathies! After my twins were born I literally thought I was going to die from lack of sleep. For the first 7 months there was rarely any period in 24hrs that one of them wasn't awake. I look back at photos from their first year and I barely remember any of it. Chocolate (in vast quantities) is the only way to go. When they were about 2.5 years things suddenly got much better and I remember actually turning to my lovely DH and realising that we were in the middle of an actual real conversation for the first time since the DC were born. It was like the fog lifting. Hold on in there girls.

Mrswifty there's always the 9 month sleep regression they may suffer with yet. DD2 was every 2 hours for a solid 6 months, now she wakes every roughly 3, so I feel your pain.