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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if I'm the only breastfeeding mum struggling to lose weight?

48 replies

BuntyCollocks · 04/08/2011 12:35

My pfb ds turned 6 months on monday, and is the light of my life. I love breastfeeding him, he loves it, and I'm proud we've gotten this far after a raft of problems (breast reduction, Tongue tie, 15% weight loss, jaundice ... Hellish, but we got through it).

The problem I have is that I am a LOT heavier than I want to be, a good stone over pre-pregnancy, and even then I was half a stone heavier than st my wedding. I go to Buggyfit, zumba, pilates, and walk a lot. I am being strict on slimming world. I can't shift the weight, which is centred completely on my tummy and hips. I have slimmed elsewhere (aside from ridiculous boobs - again!), and if it wasn't for this fat, I'd be back in my jeans.

I'm so upset about it, especially as I've been trying so hard. I'm half thinking of giving up breastfeeding as I've heard it might go then, just so I can feel good in a bikini on holiday, get back into my jeans etc, but feel so guilty about it. I really wanted him to self wean.

Anyway, sorry for the essay. Aibu to ask the aforementioned question; has anyone struggled? Aibu for feeling like this?

OP posts:

dexter73 · 04/08/2011 12:38

My dd is 14 now but I struggled to lose any weight while breastfeeding. It wasn't until I stopped that the weight finally came off. It was a bit depressing as you hear stories of how some people lose weight very quickly through breastfeeding. Unfortunately I wasn't one of those people!

NoobytheWaspSlayer · 04/08/2011 12:41

I'm another one that didn't lose weight until I stopped breastfeeding - twice! I'm currently expected DC3 and fully expecting to stay chubby until I finish breastfeeding this time too. If if gives you any hope I dropped 10lb in a month both times after I finished feeding. And the massive boobs shrinking really makes a difference to how large you feel overall (also has gigantous tits).

biddysmama · 04/08/2011 12:41

ive never lost weight from bf, i bf ds1 for 2 years dd is 28 months and ds2 11 months and they are still bf and even tandem feeding didnt help me lose weight (or stop me getting pregnant btw, im 14 weeks lol)

TadlowDogIncident · 04/08/2011 12:43

I think this is quite common actually. Some people find the weight falls off while they're breastfeeding, but others don't shift any till they stop. An old friend of mine really struggled and was quite upset about her weight, then found when she stopped feeding the extra weight just came off without her having to do anything about it.

YANBU for being upset. I feel your pain - I'm not overweight but I hate the ridiculous boobs. Really hate them to the extent I can't bear to look in the mirror. I'm just praying they go away once I stop feeding and don't end up stuck like this!

Well done for getting to 6 months! Even if you stop completely now you've given your DS a great start.

26minutes · 04/08/2011 12:57

I've never lost weight from bf. All this "bf makes you lose weight quicker" is bollocks imo, just makes you feel crap when you don't lose weight. I breastfed both ds's until about 14mths and that's when the weight came off. DD is now nearly 8 months and I still haven't lost any weight since having her (apart from the stone at time of birth). I'm hoping that it will be the same this time and will drop off when she stops bf. I had a similar conversation with a friend a fw weeks ago as she was feeling disheartened by the fact that bf wasn't making her lose weight despite her walking, running & zumba-ing.

You've done great by the sounds of it, overcoming a lot of hurdles. If you're going to feel guilty about weaning ds off earlier than you'd both like then don't I'd say. Think about what you want most. If you can stand another 6 months not getting into your old jeans but knowing you're feeding your ds the way you want then perservere and fingers crossed you'll be one of those who drops it all when the bf stops.

The extra weight has really got to me this time, probably more becuse I was already a stone over where I like to be before I fell pregnant, so I really know how you are feeling. I have considered many times over the last few months about putting DD onto formula so that I could shift the weight but realised that I'd feel worse about that than carrying the extra weight for a few more months.

bumbleymummy · 04/08/2011 13:02

Well done for getting to 6 months! :) You may find that now he's having solids he will start (gradually) cutting back on the milk so if it is that, you you may start to lose weight. There was a thread about this recently with quite a few women saying it still took time for them to shift the weight even if they weren't bf or had stopped so it may not be entirely due to bf.

Forgottensomething · 04/08/2011 13:03

Me too
I ff ds1 and the weight fell off within 6 weeks

Bfds2 ( 4 1/2 months) and the weights not budging it's my stomach and hip/ thigh area that seems to be worst

I've been walking a lot and dieted with the my fitness pal app but not one single pound has come off

I actually got new scales as I was convinced they were broke

I wish they would sell it as bf MIGHT make u lose weight not a fact. As it happens my friend bf her dd to 18 months and is still tring to lose the weight a year later

Even my 80 year old grandmother buys into it oh you'll have dropped all your weight by now with the bf every time I phone then looks confused why I haven't when I meet her!

ShowOfHands · 04/08/2011 13:04

I was the same. Ran 4x a week, went swimming, walked or cycled everywhere, ate healthily, teetotal etc. Nope. Last half stone/stone would NOT go. It's clever really because your body's prioritising your baby. If there was a sudden famine, you'd have fat stores to make milk BUT it's bloody irritating.

Like everybody else, I stopped (when dd was 3.4) and the weight disappeared very, very quickly with no effort at all. I couldn't give up bfing. I hated carrying the extra weight on my stomach/hips but I was also determined to do what nature intended and just told myself that the weight was there because my body knew dd still needed milk.

But yanbu in the slightest.

worldgonecrazy · 04/08/2011 13:06

I didn't lose the weight until around the 6 months mark, though tummy did shrink fairly quickly in the first 2 months. Well done for getting to 6 onths.

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 04/08/2011 13:10

I didn't lose a single lb until I stopped breastfeeding - sorry.

VivClicquot · 04/08/2011 13:13

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this thread. PFB is 14 weeks old and I've been feeling so crappy that breastfeeding is doing nothing to shift my weight - I thought I was the only one! I know it's only been three months, so my expectations are probably way unrealistic, but even so, the extra stone I'm carrying makes me feel fricking VAST.

StarlightMcKenzie · 04/08/2011 13:15

I don't think there is actually any evidence that bfing makes you lose weight.

The only evidence there is is that it uses more calories than NOT breastfeeding which isn't exactly the same thing.

The studies that I have seen seem to imply that if you were underweight when you fell pregnant then bfing will make you lose weight, but if you were overweight when you fell pregnant then it can actually make you put on a bit of weight.

I can see why the NHS would prefer to make extrapolations in favour of losing weight from the 'burns more calories' fact though.

Can you think about it in terms of a 4th trimester. In that your body and it's shape is not your own yet, but still as your baby needs it, and focus on the likeliness that when your baby no longer needs it it will spring back?

mrsbiscuits · 04/08/2011 13:18

I breastfed DS1 for 12 months and Ds2 for 10 and didn't lose weight the whole time I was doing it. I put on 4 stone with both my kids and extremely glad I was able to breastfeed but none of the weight came off until I stopped breasfeeding and went on a calorie controlled diet and took up exercising again !

BrandyAlexander · 04/08/2011 13:44

Exactly like ShowofHands, I ran 3 times a week, only shifted a stone of the two that I had put on by 6 months, then took another 6 months to shift another half a stone. The last half stone didn't shift till I stopped breastfeeding at 12 months. The burn 500 cals a day was total bollocks in my case!!

BrandyAlexander · 04/08/2011 13:44

anothermum92 · 04/08/2011 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

KaySirah · 04/08/2011 13:51

there are two topics on here

breastfeeding

and weight loss
neither of which interest me
and where are you?
AIBU

harrietthespook · 04/08/2011 13:52

walked everywhere when I was bf I was like a fixture in the town. "Did I see you X with that black pram?" Not an OUNCE of weight came off except for at the very very beginning. Not one pound. Stuggled to lose it the second time too even after quitting. Very big myth it makes you shed.

StarlightMcKenzie · 04/08/2011 13:57

Pregnancy, childbirth and bfing can alter your metabolism too.

BaronessBomburst · 04/08/2011 14:04

YANBU

I lost weight really quickly for the first six months and then just stopped at 11 and a half stone. I've been feeding for nearly 18 months now and am still 11 and a half stone. I can try exercising, healthy eating, or stuff my face with cake and I don't budge an ounce either way. I have resigned myself to being a size 14, with enormous tits, until I stop feeding.

Catslikehats · 04/08/2011 14:09

Relieved to hear these stories

I was back in my pre preg jeans within a fortnight but 6mths of BF have left me 7lb heavier than the day DD was born.

I am just so bloody hungry all the time, portion control is a thing of the past and I have no opportunity to exercise

bumbleymummy · 04/08/2011 14:11

I don't think it's a myth- some people do lose weight when bf but it isn't a guarantee. Everyone is different. Is it possible though that those of you who lost weight when you stopped bf made other changes too that could have been responsible? Eg mrsbiscuits, perhaps it was the change in diet and the exercising that helped you lose weight rather than the fact you stopped bf. Again, that doesn't apply to everyone because I know some people do struggle to lose weight despite a good diet and exercise.

BootyMum · 04/08/2011 14:15

KaySirah firstly the OP clearly stated in the title that her AIBU was around breastfeeding. Thus if you are not interested DO NOT CLICK ON THE POST!!! Sorry for shouting but really are you so determined to be pissed off that you click on a post you have no interest in? And since when did you become an AIBU moderator anyway?

Bunty, I am also EBF my nearly 6 month old and am also despondent at my figure. Haven't lost much weight overall and still have a pregnancy shaped tummy [to the extent that someone asked me if I was pregnant and I had to point out my baby in the buggy ]

The only thing keeping me sane is that the exact same thing happened with DS1. I BF him until around 15 months and the weight dropped off very quickly when I stopped.

It also makes me cross when I hear that BF makes you lose weight because it really doesn't seem to for so many of us and then we just feel bad and wonder what we are doing wrong.

MissVerinder · 04/08/2011 14:18

Ahhh. I lost loads of weight breastfeeding in the first three months and was well smug about it.

What I didn't realise is that I was actually quite ill with PND, no sleep and forgetting to eat after quite a traumatic birth (really had no clue at the time, just thought you were supposed to feel like that).

When I started getting "better" and DD was settling down more, I lumped laods on again despite the fact she was a right greedy baby and would feed for hours at a time.

The good news is that I did manage to drop 1/2 stone when she stopped at 2.4, but then my healthy eating plan scoffing my face with those bloody Greggs cupcakes that are gorgeous went a bit awry.

I'm about 1 1/2 stone heavier than pre-pregnancy weight (cos I am a greedy cake addict), but with a new addition to the household it's coming off again.

I know it's easy to say, and all this sleb shite advice about losing 50lb in five days post pregnancy is depressing, but please don't worry about it.

ObviouslyOblivious · 04/08/2011 14:19

Me too :( I lost weight for the first couple of months but think that was mainly water. DS is 6 months and I'm not being frugal with my eating, but neither am I eating tons. And I walk all the time.
I was waiting for the tube the other day and a station attendant offered me a baby on board badge

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