To ask if I'm the only breastfeeding mum struggling to lose weight?

[BuntyCollocks]

My pfb ds turned 6 months on monday, and is the light of my life. I love breastfeeding him, he loves it, and I'm proud we've gotten this far after a raft of problems (breast reduction, Tongue tie, 15% weight loss, jaundice ... Hellish, but we got through it).

The problem I have is that I am a LOT heavier than I want to be, a good stone over pre-pregnancy, and even then I was half a stone heavier than st my wedding. I go to Buggyfit, zumba, pilates, and walk a lot. I am being strict on slimming world. I can't shift the weight, which is centred completely on my tummy and hips. I have slimmed elsewhere (aside from ridiculous boobs - again!), and if it wasn't for this fat, I'd be back in my jeans.

I'm so upset about it, especially as I've been trying so hard. I'm half thinking of giving up breastfeeding as I've heard it might go then, just so I can feel good in a bikini on holiday, get back into my jeans etc, but feel so guilty about it. I really wanted him to self wean.

Anyway, sorry for the essay. Aibu to ask the aforementioned question; has anyone struggled? Aibu for feeling like this?

I breastfed all my kids 13,6 and 2 and do have to say that it's bullshit that breastfeeding makes you lose weight.Exercise more and eating less makes you lose weight[if you can be arsed which I can't.]

Everyone thank you for sharing your experiences! I don't feel as much like a big, fat failure alone as I did. It doesn't help that dh's cousin's wives had babies after me and are both running around sylph-like. However, one is naturally v thin: interesting about the studies stating if you were underweight before hand it may mean you lose weight, and vice versa if overweight!

The other is formula feeding, dropped all the baby weight in a week, and seems even more obsessed than I currently am with her weight, thinnest she's ever been, lost weight in pregnancy, had keytones in urine, and is actually worrying me, but thats another story...

Going to the doctors next week to make sure it is just that I'm exceptionally unlucky to not be one of the chosen few who go away to nothing, but I certainly don't feel the situation is as hopeless now, and the fact that others have sucked it up- and their tummies in - makes me feel I can, too. He's only this little once, and it's lovely to be so wanted/needed.

Thanks again.

Also, to everyone that can diet, and stay the same, or stuff their face and stay the same ... That's where I am: license to say fuck it and eat cake?

I noticed that my breastfeeding friends could be put into two groups. Those who were hungry from breastfeeding and those who were thirsty. The hungry ones didn't lose any weight, the thirsty ones did. The problem is that although I'd love to be in the thirsty group, I'm just not. I need food. I'm hungry. And I didn't lose any weight with DS or DD1 until I stopped feeding them. (Could have been something to do with the Cadbury's diet I was on though!)

With DD2 I'm trying a total exclusion diet, where I am only eating about 10 things, to sort out DD2's reflux without medication. I'm losing weight really well (1kg a week average) but it is hard to get enough calories, so I'm hungry pretty much all the time. Rice cakes really don't fill the same spot that Fruit and Nut does!

My conclusion? To lose weight on the scant amount of exercise I'm doing, I need to eat a lot less than I think.

I think I made things worse for myself first time as I was so hungry but satisfied the hunger with huge portions of food and eating chocolate. Knowing how hard it was to lose the weight the first time, I have been a lot more careful this time (dc2 is 3 months). So definitely no diet or going hungry but I have been satisfying my sugar cravings with huge amounts of fruit between meals. I noticed that my appetite was huge again but settled down after about a month so am eating my usual portion sizes and then a lot of fruit. Someone said pregnancy and bf changes metabolism and that was definitely true in my case. My memories of struggling to lose that last 7lbs means I definitely aren't thinking of this period as a license to eat cake, although I have had some very lovely cakes over the last few months!!

Also OP, are you doing the right kind of exercises? For me, I needed to do intensive aerobic exercise such as cross trainer or treadmill to burn sufficient calories to lose weight.

novice I do buggy fit (cardio and strength training), pilates, I walk a lot, I swim, and also do zumba every week, and pump/combat when dh can get home in time to let me go, so I definitely feel I'm doing the right exercises.

A typical day diet-wise is a mullerlight for breakfast, fruit for snacks, a bachelors pasta n sauce for lunch, then pasta with a homemade veggie sauce at dinner (lot of pasta as it's 'free' on slimming world, as are the yogurts, fruit and veggies).

Blimey, you're certainly doing more than me! And we're eating very similar things. If its any comfort at all, I did eventually lose all the weight first time round once I stopped bf and feel hopeful that will do the same this time as well. Hope it's the same for you too.

Blimey, you're certainly doing more than me! And we're eating very similar things. If its any comfort at all, I did eventually lose all the weight first time round once I stopped bf and feel hopeful that will do the same this time as well. Hope it's the same for you too.

I breastfed twins until 14 months and hardly lost any baby weight.
When I stopped breastfeeding 3 stone just fell off me in a matter of a couple of months without me making any effort!

With ds1 it took me over 2 years to get back to my pre-pg weight - and then I got pg again the same month!

With ds2 I decided that if I dieted I would probably lose it and not regain it. So I ate very little for a few weeks and reached my pre-pg weight at about 6 months pp. Unfortunately I felt absolutely rubbish. Low in energy, constantly hungry, etc.

So I decided sod it, it's more important to do what is best for my child and feel OK than to conform to some self-imposed idea of how I should look.

DS2 is now 15 months and I am half a stone above my pre-pg weight, I suspect I shall be there until I stop bfing.

I always had a tendency to lose weight before my pgs, btw, so the thing about it depending on what your tendency was before you got pg doesn't apply to me.

Oh, and with ds1 I was on a total exclusion diet (basically eating bugger all) for 3 months and then dairy free for another 6 months.

In the entire period I lost less than 1/2 a stone.

If I had to analyse your diet I'd say stop the pasta for the evening meal, meat/fish with vegetables would be far better for your weight loss.

Breastfeeding made me hungry as hell and I'm still struggling with my weight 14 years later, get a handle on it now if you can.

My DC is 6 months too and I'm a stone heavier than I was pre-pg. I am getting married in a few weeks and at the time of booking the wedding I foolishly thought I would have dropped all the weight. Like you it is mainly around my stomach and thighs. I hate it. I also hate the fact that I am going to have to breastfeed in my wedding dress as he won't take a bottle. I have visions of me sitting in a toilet cubicle missing my own wedding reception because I have to be zipped out of the bloody thing to free my boobs! (Would normally feed anywhere but the dress won't allow me to do this and still be decent.) I try and focus on the fact that it is the best thing for DS but it is annoying when all I really want to do is go an a diet coke and cucumber mini diet to zap this last stone (my usual tactic - and it stays off)!

I lost weight quickly after first birth - no idea if it was bf or luck - second it took longer but came while bf - with third didn't come off during bf so I though o.k everyone say it will drop off afterwards. When I stopped it didn't come of at all. Everyone said oh it your age - I've not passed 35 yet so that made me miserable.

Dieting and alot more exercise have shifted alot but still have more to go.

If its a myth that bf make you lose weight IME its also a myth that it will drop of when you stop.

Might work for some others not so lucky .

Another I stopped feeding at 10 months and a stone leapt off me quicker than you can bat an eye.
I changed nothing. Not food or calorie intake (best mate is dietician so I KNOW how to count calories accurately) not exercise or running around after toddlers.
I'm an apple shape with long skinny limbs which don't store fat so it was all on my boobs waist and stomach! Grrrr
But back in some pre preg clothes which are higher cut!
It's a complete myth that you lose weight.
And I was a thirsty feeder!

Ive got to admit the weight falls off me when pregnant and breastfeeding (I think its because I cant keep much down most of the time) but I am jealous because the big boobs dont last with me! For about two weeks they are huge then two weeks big then they just go back to normal unless I missed a feed. I would have LOVED to have them for longer so stop feeling bad and just enjoy the way you are. You are eating well and getting tons of exercise and doing the best for your baby and it will all work out in the long run and you will also be healthy and fit!

So WELL DONE give yourself a big pat on the back.

KaySirah - what's your problem? Any other posters asking if they're BU in AIBU that you don't approve of?

Just like to say that it's not bullshit that you lose weight when breastfeeding, but of course it is bullshit that everyone will lose weight.

I put weight on easily and struggle to lose it. I blimped BIG time in both pregnancies, but the weight just fell off both times, in spite of sitting on my chuff, scoffing cake.

DD is about to turn 1 and our combined weight now is 17kg (about 34lbs) less than our combined weight was when she was inside me, the day before I went in to be induced. I'm a size 10 compared with my pre-preg size 16.

I got really complacent after DS and continued to eat what I want and of course all the weight went straight back on once he starting weaning at 6 months.

I learnt the lesson and the weight hasn't gone back on this time so far, but I am making much more of an effort and exercising as well (DD is still on 3 BFs a day). I 'harnessed' breastfeeding, you could say.

So no, you won't automatically lose weight from b/feeding, but you won't necessarily not, either. Just in case in first-time pg ladies are reading this and thinking it's not going to happen.

ooh - yay! - it's not just me

DD is 8 months and am still a stone up and a very different shape to how I started - have been this weight before but not this shape. (Never been on a diet in my life and not intending to start now though). I wish someone had told me this beforehand; it would not have affected my intention to BF but I might have felt a bit less bad about still being a sack of spuds at this point.

One thing you need to think about - you only gave birth six months ago, give your body time. It would be a shame to stop bf now for that reason as if you do continue you will find it really keeps on giving your baby benefits and you will continue to see how much enjoyment he gets from it!

I have put on weight each time (have 3 DC) when breastfeeding. With DS2 (now 16 months) I put on a stone by the time he was 6 months old. Its true I didnt try to loose but I did go to the gym 3x a week and do lots of walks, I was always hungry. So by the time he was 6 months old I was 3 stone over my pre-pregnancy weight.

But at 6 months I went back to work so cut the breastfeeding down to twice a day and he started solids and I started dieting. He lost interest (in BFing) by around 9 months because he was getting bottles in the day.

Enjoy feeding him, you have a whole lifetime to be slim but only now to feed. Buy bigger jeans and swimming costume with tummy control. And you might find it easier to loose once he is having solids.

And yes I have lost all the weight (and more!)

is this the reason why i cannot lose weight - dd is bf and she is 22 months - does it still affect me now

or is it my cake addiction?!

Hooray, I'm glad to hear it's not just me! I'm currently bf no. 3 and just like the other times, the weight is not shifting. I just get sooo hungry and eat way more than when I'm not bf. I'm just hoping the weight'll shift when I stop, like the other times.

Well done for bf for 6 mths. Love your mumsnet name, too!

What's so lovely about this thread is hearing about all the fabulous bf stories, especially the ladies who did an elimination diet to be able to
Continue to bf - what dedication and perseverance :-)