to tell you a cautionary tale? (or perhaps one that you can point and laugh about my numpty behaviour?)

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

I'm finding it difficult to get waxing sessions booked in over the school holidays, so have decided to root out (ha) my epilator to do my legs.

So far, so good.

Whilst defuzzing my legs I was ruminating over the slight 'tache that was growing.

Can you see where I'm going with this?

MY frigging bottom lip got sucked into the mechanism and when the machine finally stopped whizzing, my macerated lip took a great deal to extricate from between the roller and the plastic unit.

I look like a rugby player.

I fell over once and smashed my bottom lip; it swelled up a treat and my friend I looked like Pete Burns.

Best stay away from the Ladygarden then!

Oh dear...
Can you start thinking of a good cover story now?
Something along the lines of seeing off a massive mugger, or saving a small child from a swarm of wasps...?

Oh you poor thing. Sorry but I did make a strange squealing sound when I read your OP

How did you manage that?!

But saying that, DP borrowed my epilator and managed to rip a flap into his dick.

Proper off-putting.

Oh! You poor thing. I once tried Immac facial on my top lip (why I have no idea as I'm fair and the hair is almost invisible ) and I ended up with a burn. Hope it calms down soon.

ROFL. Sympathetically, of course...

Ice! That might help with swelling at least?

Rip a flap into his dick is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard-made me giggle like a loon :o :o

I ripped a flap on my flap with an epilator. Gave up the idea of going there with one of those many years ago. Need a sat nav to find it nowadays.

Oh dear

Thanks for the symapthy and sniggers.

I'm trying the age old anaesthetic.

Whiskey?!

Crazy woman

TakeMeDrunk,that made my eyes water!

Numpty, numpty, numpty, numpty, numpty, numpty

I actually have a fear of ripping my clitoris off whilst engaging in DUI hair-removing.

Put a pic up....go on, you know you want to!

'Rip a flap'

Linerunner, I too fear slicing off my clit even when not DUI

I thought you were talking about your lady lips.

still, ouch.

Once in a sleep deprived state I set about expressing some milk. I was about to press the 'on' button and thankfully looked down to see that I had not essembled the expressing machine but the hand blender, which was cupped around my boob. Had I not have looked down God knows....

I thougt you where talking about your fanjo and was trying to imagine what a bottom lip was. I had to refere to vagina vulva thread for assistace with that.

Goodnightnobody OMFFFFFFGGGGG My face is like >>>

I know.

I know.

After it happended, I could bearly bring myself to think about it. I was so shocked. Would have been awful. I'm lucky not to have pressed the trigger.

Snurk Terribley sorry for your troubles, OP