to think that wheelchairs should be priority on buses?

[mamadivazback]

My DS and I were on the bus today coming home from the town when I noticed a woman I vaguely know to speak to in the queue behind about 8 people with her 6YO DD who is in a narrow childs wheelchair and her DP with 2 year old son in small stroller so we waved, as you do.

Now the bus was about half full and 2 girls got on with their children in pushchairs, one with a very large Emmaljunga type and the other with a stroller and both children were happily sitting up by themselves and looked to be about 18 months old but neither thought to fold their pushchair when the lady tried to get her DD on, she had taken her DS out so she could fold pushchair and all sit together but the bus driver told her she could not get on as there were already 2 pushchairs onboard so she had to wait behind in the rain for the next bus.

I know pushchairs are entitled to use the bus but I thought you had to fold them if a wheelchair user was getting on and was quite shocked when the bus driver refused her a ticket, I spoke to her later on and she said it has happened a few times and it's just bad luck but I really don't think it's fair.

I had a bus all to myself once. The conductor threw me off because I refused to pay for a seat for my 3 year old. He said under 5's weren't free if they took up the seat of a fare paying passenger. Bit weird as there were no other passengers. So I put her on my lap instead and he tried to make me pay for the 1 stop we had travelled with her sat on the seat. Weirdo.

I don't think so somehow.

I think it was a dig at my ds anxiety issues.

mum0ftw0, if your ds gets too big for his buggy and then goes to a major buggy and then a wheelchair (as my ds did) would you then expect that you should get off a bus for someone with a pram?

Sadly we haven't got a 'free' 2 grand a year car.

Ds is far too violent, wouldn't be safe for me to drive so my 'free' car money is spent on taxis so I can get from A to B with my throat intact.

apocolypse, you get a car which has a 3rd row, said child then goes here with a harness from windmill, mind it costs £450+ so not "free" either...........thats what we do with our aggressive 10 yo

no glitterknickaz.
But if a person with a pram was equally unable to fold their pram, and they were living on the breadline without mobility money, then (because of what Iwent through in their shoes) I wouldn't see whom should have 'rights' to the space' is being really so clear cut.
Perhaps they would be in equal need, without any advantage.

DS is now the size of a 6 year old and buses just aren't an option. Luckily enough my partner drives, and mobility we've applied for may help fund that.

It's the very person who has a mobility car (MIL) who says that it was practically free.

I have considered it, believe me. But as dd quite literally NEVER shuts up talking I don't think i'd be safe as a learner driver with those two in the back.

My niece who also has autism nearly caused a serious accident in France when the taxi driver put down the windscreen cover thingy (which she hates, they must be kept level ) and she put her hands over his face luckily there were two adults in the back so no one got killed, we were in the taxi behind and will never forget that car swerving over the road

my ds is also a thrower, he was drinking a bottle of water once when I felt it fly I couldn't work out where it had landed until I pressed the brake!! oops

I couldn't live without my car, apart from home it's the only next place ds will go.

Hmm, we snapped the window winder off the prevent DS trying to climb out of the moving car window.

I've heard of safety straps they cannot get out of?

yeah ours done that mum, we now have back electric windows that he can't open. The windmill harness is houdini proof and much better than the crelling harness which some can still get out of.

So, can anyone just tell me?
Should a 4 year old with ASD on a bus have to get off and remove their pram if a wheelchair comes on??

I had my 4yo and 1yo in a double bike trailor pram on the bus before and got some disapproving looks.

Or Does DS with ASD need an actual proper wheelchair for his needs to be considered?

MumOfTwo.... I have no idea what you're DLA goes on but ours goes on meeting the costs of having a children with disabilities, we are just as skint as everybody else

I have no pity for someone who is skint but uses buses regularly and has chosen a huge pram to do it. Huge pram is their choice, wheelchairs aren't.

And I say that as someone who raised 2 babies in poverty......when we were paying a mortgage on basic benefits and I managed perfectly fine on buses because I didn't have a huge pram. And THAT included managing a 3.5 year old with autism and a very delayed baby who didn't walk until he was two !

Well excuse me, I had a pram that folded that turned into a pram that wouldn't fold. and no money to quickly replace it.

And have you tried to fold a double pram while you have a newborn in it and the 3yo with ASD who'll scream if it's taken down?

Our DLA will also go on 4yo being ASD, in nappies and only able to communicate using symbols.

I didn't manage perfectly fine because I was alone during pregnancy.

Sorry to sound like a sob story, but my need for a priority space was high at that time, despite not having a wheelchair

tbh, when ds was younger and I was car sharing with dh, bearing in mind you can't get a mobility car until 3 yo. If I was made to put ds mac major down I made sure people realised what they had asked by putting my non monile ds on the floor and asked the driver to wait until I put my ds buggy back up, then went back on the bus to collect my heavy ds who couldn't stand, walk or crawl and crippling my back as I have enough weight of my own to shift too, I quickly got oh I'm sorry I didn't realise, it won't happen again. People should just not assume.

Mum, nappies and symbols should be provided, you should not have to pay.

non mobile*

No I was saying what grounds it goes on for us, not what it's spent on, although we're still paying for nappies....

agreed, people shouldn't assume, at the sight of a pram that it can easily be folded or parent can use a sling.

I think wheelchairs should have a priority,though have found its different rules for different drivers.I am now lucky in that dd is now much more mobile though cannot do long distances so sometimes will fold her chair up if there are lots of prams on board,BUT i THINK IF A CHILD IS TOTALLY WHEELCHAIR DEPENDENT OF COURSE THEY SHOULD HAVE PRIORITY

I'm pleased i don't have to use the buses, i'm lucky enough to have a car to transport my 2 Autistic dd's in. Its hard enough having them in the car, the other day dd2 managed to get out of her seat and grab my stearing wheel whilst going around the roundabout and a few days later decided to try and climb out the back window whilst i was doing 60mph. We are waiting for funding for a harness for her so she wont be able to get out of her car seat. Dd2 would be a nightmare on the bus and would probably need to be in her maclaren major (not sure if this counts as a wheelchair), she would be very noisy on the bus and would possibly have a meltdown (so i can see why traveling on a bus with an Autistic child would be hard). I think if you have a baby/toddler and you use buses a lot then why would you have a pushchair that does not fold? surely its easy enough to plonk your toddler (not so easy with a newborn) on a seat and fold up the buggy? Wheelchairs do not fold and the child is likely to be unable to sit on a bus seat or be lifted in and out the chair. Maybe the problem is with the buses not having enough spaces for desabled passangers and buggy's, maybe you should be all writing to the bus companies complaining that there needs to be more space for wheelchairs and stricter rules for pushchairs (if child is over 12 months the buggy should be folded and child sat on lap or seat)?

Morning all sorry I vanished but was knackered!

Thanks for all yoru responses and will be sure to speak to friend today and ensure we all complain as there was no way her wheelchair looks like a pushchair, it is a narrow version of a large one and her DD is a large 6YO.

Obviously I can't say for sure about what the mothers saw, but they looked at the doors when the driver looked back at them and said to each toher that they hoped they did'nt have to fold pushchairs and smiled when driver did'nt say anything the more I think about it the angrier I get, some people's ignorance defies me!

Speaking of.. MumOfTwo I sympathize with you and your situation but your ignorance is mystifying!

You chose to get on a bus with a pushchair wihich could'nt fold! How dare you assume that people must use DLA for taxi's etc, I shall tell my friend (who incidently has to use the wheelchair for support and has 60 percent of her face covered in burn scars after her ex attacked her with a can of lighter fluid, lighter and a knife when she was pregnant hence the problems her DD now suffers) that she should be thankful for the extra money and that she is now above public transport or shut up!

Anyway yes I also agree that bus designs need to be better laid out for more pushchairs/wheelchair users as sometimes it is necassary but on the whole, sadly unless you can say you have a disibility which is'nt obvious then no I don't think it's fair to say you won't fold a pushchair because your son will scream or it's a hassle... WTF?

Now mum0ftw0, are you always this ignorant, or are you just stressed?

Having a toddler with autism is a very hard job, and having a baby as well, very tiring. I've been there. I've also been heavily pregnant with an autistic toddler on a bus, he was in a mac major, a pram build for children with SN. A pram with twins wanted to get on, and the bus driver forced me to get off the bus as I refused to fold the tank down. Now that was frustrating.

Has it ever occured to you that a person in a wheelchair can't drive? or that getting the bus is the only trip out they have that week?

For a person who has a child with SN, you vertainly come across as having no sympathy for others. You need to take a long look at your life, and realise you are very lucky, that you are not in a wheelchair and that you can walk. Because a disability can happen at any time. You might be that person in the wheelchair in a few years time, and some parent with a pram won't move out the way if they are having a bad day.