Children can be so bloody horrible

[Elemis]

" you can't play with us"
" I don't want to play with you"
"you're not allowed up here"
"You're not coming to my birthday party"

Why are children so mean?
And the parents don't say anything?!

I want to cry for my ds

Their own parents should be teaching them how to behave, unfortunately as parents, you can't jump in and fight all their battles for them.
They need to learn to cope, the adult world isn't fair and friendly.

You only have to look at MN, I know it is only the internet and it shouldn't hurt, but people can be very unpleasant on her,they will kick when down, be very rude, put down and have a pack mentality if you go against the norm-they can also be very supportive, very kind and helpful and extremely funny-just like the playground!

Why do so many people think that this sort of low level nastiness is acceptable? Thank goodness that the attitude at my DD's school is that saying things like this is absolutely not acceptable and the children caught doing it are spoken to and reprimanded where necessary. I think it is dreadful that so many people say that the picked on children should toughen up.

I am not talking about bullying but there is a very fine line somewhere between bullying and general give and take.
For example you can have a DC who rules the roost at home, his/her parents won't say 'no' and he/she can manipulate situations to get exactly what they want-they then hit school and other DCs are not in the least impressed they do not let the DC get away with any of that behaviour and they simply won't play with him/her. I wouldn't call it bullying, the DC has to learn what it takes to be a good friend.
This is why siblings fight and argue a lot, they are testing things out in a safe environment.
Childhood is a learning process, they are not born knowing how to fit into a group and they can't just be told-they have to learn by experience.
Adults need to step in when it crosses the line to bullying and a DC is being deliberately targeted.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with going up to the children and saying "lets all be nice to each other", or "I hope no one is being left out" etc. That way it is non confrontational or accusatory of any of the children, but makes them aware of how they should behave and that you are watching them. I use that sort of thing ALL the time!

It depends on the age-fine with toddlers but you can't carry on when they are older.

Okay, thanks OP for coming back & clarifying.
I would also be upset if the mothers were sitting right there, could hear all & didn't try to admonish, esp. if it was first words out of other child's mouth, & anyone should be able to see that my child was upset (why don't I get invited to playdates where wine is served .

But as banter in many contexts, I don't think it's usually a big deal.
I have a child who is fairly unpopular, btw, rarely invited to play or parties. And was badly bullied myself, So am in a position to be rather over-sensitive, but I still think you've got to take some or maybe a lot of it in stride.