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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel a tiny little bit smug.. yeah i know i am

44 replies

biddysmama · 02/08/2011 08:44

that my friend who has a toddler the same age as mine (her first child, my second) that told everyone who would listen that gina ford and controlled crying were the only way to bring up a child, and that if you didnt cc your child would never sleep through now has a toddler that doesnt sleep and mine does even tho i left her to sleep when she was ready?

yeah im a bad person

OP posts:

peppapighastakenovermylife · 02/08/2011 08:46

Bad person

She brought it upon herself by being so vocal

sims2fan · 02/08/2011 10:29

I have a friend who is quite smug that her 8 month old baby is always quiet, smiley and 'good' while our other friend's 2 year old toddler is energetic, always tantrumming and being 'naughty.' I am just waiting until her son gets to the same age as I think she's in for a bit of a shock as she is adamant that her son will never have tantrums etc!

TillyTellTale · 02/08/2011 11:10

sims2fan

Seriously? How entertaining and yet frustrating it must be, to know your friend!

yoshiLunk · 02/08/2011 11:19

My sons have never had tantrums,

I am not smug about it, I am worried , that some day I am going to pay for it BIG [scared emoticon]

faverolles · 02/08/2011 11:21

It should be a lesson in parenting to never, ever be smug about anything, because as sure as eggs are eggs, it'll come back to bite you one day!

YouDoTheMath · 02/08/2011 11:26

Mwahahahahahah!

Don't you love it when smug/dictatorial types come unstuck.

DoMeDon · 02/08/2011 11:28

Think it's a reflection on you that you are smug your friend is having sleepless nights

YouDoTheMath · 02/08/2011 11:28

Plus they change all the time.

My DD used to be SO well behaved, evreyone used to comment on it. Now, she screams like nobody's business whenever we're in public.

YouDoTheMath · 02/08/2011 11:29

*everyone

fivegomadindorset · 02/08/2011 11:32

Just to warn you Biddysmama, that my DD slept really well until she was 3 and has been crap ever since.

wearenotinkansas · 02/08/2011 11:36

I am anti-cc - so find this v.amusing.

Imnotaslimjim · 02/08/2011 11:49

I totally agree about the smug biting you on the arse!

My DS is 5.4 and I was very smug-- chuffed that he had never had a tantrum. Just 3 weeks ago, all hell broke loose and they are now a daily occurence. We're hoping they are short lived!

I can understand you being smug about your friend though, she shouldn't have been so adamant that she was right and you were wrong!

nickschick · 02/08/2011 11:54

Oh dear god.

My eldest 2 ds were fantastic sleepers - I worked as a nursery nurse I helped parents devise good parenting 'strategies' with regards to sleeping/weaning/toilet training etc.

All babies sleep they need to id say its finding the way that suits them to sleep- to help them get good sleeping habits themselves,if a baby cries he cries for a reason- cuddle your baby love your baby it doesnt last forever and its a phase that passes and strangely you miss being awake in the night sharing those dark hours with your baby ,

THEN........

Ds3 arrived - he slept 3 hours out of 24 for the first 3 years.
He wasnt a wingey crying baby he just never slept.

That was my smugness coming back to flame my butt.

PrettyCandles · 02/08/2011 11:55

I am smug about the fact that I kept my mouth shut when friends were Doing It Wrong. Because when my dc reached the ages their dc were at when I was silently judging them, mine did exactly the same things as theirs did or I reacted in exactly the same way as they did.

Original poster

biddysmama · 02/08/2011 12:32

my dd didnt sleep through till she was 1, the friend i am talking about told me i would only get her to sleep by cio, and now she sleeps through and her toddler doesnt, thats why im a little smug, ive got an 11 month old ds and he sttn for the first time last night

OP posts:

Original poster

biddysmama · 02/08/2011 12:33

and my ds didnt have terrible 2's either, turns out he has aspergers and more than makes up for it now at 9 year old!

OP posts:

buggerlugs82 · 02/08/2011 13:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

worldgonecrazy · 02/08/2011 13:09

YANBU to feel smug. Hopefully your friend will now think twice before advising other new mums to CC. Actually, she probably won't because that would mean she would have to admit to herself that she'd allowed her child to cry for her mum for absolutely no reason at all, and no mum is willingly going to admit that, even to herself.

TandB · 02/08/2011 13:25

YANBU. It is impossible not to feel smug when someone lectures and drones on about something and turns out to have got it spectacularly wrong.

My NCT group never stopped going on about this and that baby guru and this and that routine. I wouldn't have cared if they hadn't spent so much time telling me that I just had to have a routine too and that DS would never get into good sleeping habits if we just went with the flow. DS was the first one to start sleeping through at 6 weeks. I tried to look modest and un-smug but I suspect I failed!

ShowOfHands · 02/08/2011 13:32

DD has never tantrummed. I too fear she's storing it up for later. Possibly when I've had a 2nd baby. Maybe she'll have a year long tantrum at some point.

I'm so far from smug, I'm afraid.

Quenelle · 02/08/2011 13:41

DS is a very placid boy, he has never had a tantrum. But he's only 2 so I'll hold back on the smugness for a while.

Hi buggerlugs this is controlled crying.

Original poster

biddysmama · 02/08/2011 13:44

controlled crying is putting your baby to bed and leaving them awake, crying and going into them at set intervals but not comforting them exept patting them on the back or shhhing them depending on what baby torture parenting book you read

OP posts:

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 02/08/2011 13:51

controlled crying is when you leave the baby to cry it out for a few minutes at a time, till the baby learns to self soothe,
i sort of did a mixture of CC and the pick up put down thing, it took us 3 days to get DS sleeping though @ 7 months and he still does sleep through now @ 2.5 so it seems to have worked for us.

EdwardorEricCantDecide · 02/08/2011 13:51

i don't think its baby torure at all.

ShowOfHands · 02/08/2011 14:45

I think there's a bit of a chasm between people who think it teaches a baby to self soothe and people who think it teaches a baby to give up and stop asking for help.

But I don't live other people's lives and have different beliefs and different thresholds. I won't ever 'agree' with cc but sort of understand why some parents feel driven to it.

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