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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my babsitter is a thief?

74 replies

macdoodle · 01/08/2011 20:47

:(:(
I work one evening a week. A neighbours 18yr old babysits for me every week. She is a nice girl, friendly, the kids like her. She is not brilliant at getting them to bed but I can live with that for one night.
I have noticed though that a few little things are going missing, perfume, make up, few pounds out of DD1's purse.
At first I didn't think anything of it. But it is starting to stack up. The day after she has gone, I notice the odd little thing missing and not found after a good search.
One was my best perfume, a large expensive bottle (£50) :(
I mentioned it to her by the way, saying perfume and some make up had gone missing, and had she seen it when she put the girls to bed. She shrugged and said she'd look around for them.
I am pretty sure its her. Had a word with a friend of mine (who is also friendly with neighbour), and apparantly this was an issue at her grandmother's and caused some family fall out.
What to do? It will be my word against hers if I talk to her mum and may create some bad feeling. I have a new babysitter lined up, do I tell her why I don't want her back.
Actually I feel sorry for her, lots of issues with her mum and dad (divorced) and her stepdad. Troubled girl I suspect. But I can't have a thief in my house looking after my children can I.

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cerealqueen · 11/09/2011 15:43

This is awful, if you can't get or ask family/friends/other mums can you not use a professional babysitting service on this last occasion, even if its not financially viable this one time?

I really would not have this person in your house again.

macdoodle · 17/09/2011 13:40

ah well hand forced :(
DD1 birthday on monday, went to check her charm bracelets to see if she wanted to buy a charm for her birthday.
She has a beautiful gold one bought by my father when she was born added to every year, with some expensive and sentimental charms.
She has a modern silver Tomas Zabo one bought by her father (my ex) and added to by him.
Both missing :( Gold one worth well over £1000 (at least).
Called the police straight away. They were excellent. Went to her house and searched it with her parents permission. Found the gold one in her bedroom. Stopped search immediately and she will be arrested. If she admits it and returns items will be a caution. If not will be court.
Feeling very very sad and betrayed.

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banana87 · 17/09/2011 13:43

Don't blame her and say 'I know you took x' but do say 'after you have babysat, on several occasions, I have noticed that X Y and Z have gone missing' and tell her you won't be requiring her services anymore. And do it in front of her Mum.

banana87 · 17/09/2011 13:44

OH only just seen your update! Never mind then! Sounds like you don't need to say anything at all now!

macdoodle · 17/09/2011 13:45

Police are now involved and have proof, they found one of the bracelets in her room. I will not be getting involved now. I actually hope her parents will come and apologise.
She will not be in my house again.
Need a babysitter now for wed until new babysitter starts next month.

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ChippingIn · 17/09/2011 13:47

Mac - sorry that you have been so badly betrayed by her :( but very glad you got DD's gold bracelet back - any sign of the silver one?

Why did they stop the search?

Have you made a list of all of the things you think she's taken?

LeBOF · 17/09/2011 13:48

Oh macdoodle, I'm so sorry Sad. What a stupid, stupid thing for her to do, and so horrible that she betrayed your trust like that.

macdoodle · 17/09/2011 13:53

Am very relieved we got the gold one back, some of the charms are from abroad and I suspect irreplaceable. Worked out cost at well over £1000 maybe closer to £1500.
Police suspect she didn't realise the cost of it.
Apparantly they have to stop search now they have proof, until she is arrested and questioned. So she has the opportunity to return the items voluntarily?
Silver one worth less and easier to replace as recent and all from the same shop.
But will have to make insurance claim if she doesnt return it.
Am glad I was proved right, but very very sad she has betrayed my trust so badly. And stolen from my daughter :(
A horrid mess. Apparantly her parents were absolutely mortified.

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macdoodle · 17/09/2011 13:54

oh and police get a bad name but they were absolutely fantastic very impressed.

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thisisyesterday · 17/09/2011 13:58

oh mac :(

sorry it got so out of hand, and i really hope that she has the sense to return everything she can.

ChippingIn · 17/09/2011 14:03

I'm still frankly quite puzzled about them stopping the search - particularly before they found the silver one. I'd be very very annoyed.

Good to hear the police were fantastic.

If her parents have 'brought her up well' then you do have to feel for them don't you :( Have you told them what she has taken from your house so that you have some chance of getting your stuff back?

Yes - somehow it does feel worse that she stole from your daughter doesn't it :(

FabbyChic · 17/09/2011 14:04

Im sorry this happened to you but glad you done the right thing by involving the police.

Bloodymary · 17/09/2011 14:08

So glad that you involved the Police.
And so very Angry she stole from your DD.

bumbleymummy · 17/09/2011 14:26

How awful! :( I'm glad you got the gold one back - it would have been awful to lose something with so much sentimental value, regardless of the cost. Hopefully the silver one will be found too.

SauvignonBlanche · 17/09/2011 16:45

Sorry to hear that things got worse.
Hope you get your DD's things back.

macdoodle · 17/09/2011 18:20

Both bracelets now returned, and one mostly empty bottle of perfume. She has been arrested and will be cautioned tomorrow. Nightmare, very sad :(

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macdoodle · 17/09/2011 18:21

Turns out instincts are always right and I was definitely NBU :(

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TheCrackFox · 17/09/2011 18:33

I would have some sympathy for her is she was 13yrs old but an 18yr old is an adult and she must have known the consequences for stealing. TBH she really has got off lightly. Horrible for you, though.

unfitmother · 17/09/2011 18:48

Poor you, what a mess!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 17/09/2011 19:04

I'm relieved for you that you have at least got the most valuable items back and I hope that, at some point, either the girl or one of her family members see fit to apologise to you in person or in writing.

Have you considered buying a home safe or either one of the lockable metal boxes than can be screwed to a cupboard shelf and used to store precious jewellery and documents or a small lockable filing cabinet?

I've found mine invaluable as an organisational aide (prior to purchase I frequently played hunt the passport, foreign money, certificates etc) and also for peace of mind in knowing that treasured items are safely tucked away from prying eyes and light fingers and also have some degree of protection in the event of fire.

Bloodymary · 17/09/2011 19:11

At least you have both of your DDs bracelets back.
Sorry if I sound harsh TheCrackFox but even at 13 I would have had no sympathy.

Iteotwawki · 17/09/2011 19:13

Glad you have the bracelets back but not sure I agree entirely that her being arrested and cautioned is sad.

You say it happened before which caused some family issues so presumably she was found out then but didn't stop.

Being arrested now may make her come to her senses before she gets into serious trouble. Does she get a criminal record with a caution? It might wake her up to being an adult.

FermittheKrog · 17/09/2011 19:45

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warthog · 17/09/2011 19:51

so sad Sad

but ultimately you also did her a favour by stopping her now before it gets a lot worse. sounds like a cry for help / attention to me.

you did the right thing, and hopefully now she'll sort herself out.

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