Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say that no-one in the house (no not even you DH) can have a cooked breakfast every morning

78 replies

Ormirian · 01/08/2011 09:45

during the school holidays? Weekends only.

Because we are broke atm and food bills are bloody scary.

I just reminded DH of this as he was getting a monstrous pile of bacon and eggs out of the fridge. I asked him whether he remembered hearing (and backing me up) about this last week, and his response implied that it was only meant for the children Hmm

So he put it back in the fridge, forswore toast or cereal, and is sulking with the paper.

SO AIBU.

OP posts:
ChaoticAngelofGryffindor · 01/08/2011 11:28

YANBU He is being selfish and an arse.

pinkdelight · 01/08/2011 11:28

I'm in two minds about this, because I do think a cooked breakfast every day is a bit much, unless he has a very physical job and will burn it off. But I don't go with all this double standards thing. I think it's actually fine for a parent to have different things to the kids. I love my kids to bits, but hardly think it's depravation to say that dad (or mum) can have X whilst they have Y. Is it really that outrageous? Don't we deserve some precious privileges?

Original poster
Ormirian · 01/08/2011 11:42

"Don't we deserve some precious privileges"

We have some precious priviledges. We get to drink wine or beer while they drink juice or water. We get to go to bed when we want to, they go when they are told. We get to spend money on what we choose, they don't. We make all sort of decisions that they can't make.

If they didn't like bacon and eggs for example I'd have no problem with them not having it whilst DH did. As they do, I would feel horrified if DH sat there eating it whilst the looked on wistfully. Awful!

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 01/08/2011 12:41

Perhaps I'm very mean then. Horrified/wistfully is a bit OTT though. I'd just say dad gets a cooked breakfast everyday cos he's a piggy. We'll have other stuff. Life not fair blah blah.

CurrySpice · 01/08/2011 12:45

I'd be worried about his waistline and arteries if he were eating fry ups every morning TBH

Original poster
Ormirian · 01/08/2011 13:44

So even you don't get a cooked breakfast? So it's just DH? Even if you and the DC wanted one? I think that is quite odd TBH.Sorry.

OP posts:
kenobi · 01/08/2011 14:00

pinkdelight - There is a story about the writer Evelyn Waugh getting two bananas as part of the family's food allowance during rationing. He sat in front of his children and ate both of them with every evidence of glee, and didn't allow them any.

His son does not remember this story to show what a nice man Evelyn Waugh is and that life's just that way. He remembers it for its total unfairness.

Ormirian, if your DH wants bacon that badly he can buy a bap on the way to work or for lunch. I think you did the right thing.

PS - I've been meaning to say this for ages, but your kids are beautiful.

Original poster
Ormirian · 01/08/2011 14:02

Thanks kenobi! Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Ormirian · 01/08/2011 14:05

Re the banana story, I remember years ago we went to Crete for a family holiday. We went to Spinalonga for the day and stopped off for a meal on the way back - there was a family of 2 adults and about 4 small kids. Adults were eating a huge pile of fruits de mer - children had nothing and kept hovering around the table asking for bits of food which the adults refused. It was simply revolting and I can remember my normally laidback dad getting so angry he nearly said something to them but mum stopped him!

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/08/2011 14:42

We wouldn't eat a 'fry up' for breakfast, it would be a 'grill up' anyway. If we did have one it would be a treat for a weekend. Whether or not bacon is good for you, wouldn't it stop being a lovely treat if you have it every day?

I didn't see in the OP where husband said the DCs couldn't have bacon and eggs?

It's something we would have as a family anyway, so you're not being unreasonable in my opinion, anyway.

Regarding the fruits de mer story, did you dad happen to know whether the kids had already had their lunch or whatever? I know of some children who will constantly ask for whatever anyone else has... bad. I think it's nice to give children a taste of things but if they'd already eaten then I suppose it was the parents' call. Just as well your dad didn't say anything.

DamselInDisarray · 01/08/2011 15:16

I can think of nothing worse than trying to eat my posh restaurant food with the kids whinging at me for something. It's madness to feed the kids earlier and the drag them to the restaurant with you to watch you eat. Fair enough, feed them earlier so you can go out and enjoy a meal without a toddler demanding all the tomatoes off everyone's plates the kids, but don't take them with you. You need to feed them to keep them quiet -and, therefore, not annoying--.

Original poster
Ormirian · 01/08/2011 15:17

Even if that was the case lying, I would still provide a seat for my DC, and a drink and something to nibble.

OP posts:
Catslikehats · 01/08/2011 15:29

lying presumably the kids had had a service station sausage roll before thir parents sat down for thir luxuriou meal Grin Seriously who behaves like that Confused

Iggly · 01/08/2011 18:33

Yanbu

I can't think of any logical reason for this TBH or letting kids have lower quality or nothing nice just because. Seems like a bizarre inadvertent power trip to me.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 01/08/2011 19:59

Re. the fruits de mer story - I know who behaves like that, I got taken on holiday with them when I was a teenager. They had me and their DD (who was about 5'8 by this time and I was 5'3, so we weren't teeny tiny!) sharing a meal off the children's menu. It was weird - one thing I will say for my parents is they let us try a big meal if we could eat it and didn't gripe about 'special food for grown ups'. Hmm

It's crap if he's sulking about it. I would just have said, 'you want it, you buy it and cook it, and ask the kids if they want some'. He sounds childish (sorry, but he does - who seriously expects their partner to do a full cooked breakfast every morning? Esp. if you're not doing it for anyone else in the family!).

Original poster
Ormirian · 01/08/2011 20:06

He's not that bad LRD! He was cooking it himself

OP posts:
LRDTheFeministDragon · 01/08/2011 20:14

Hmm - not sure cooking it really counts as 'doing' it - he's not buying it, is he? Or do you mean he takes your money and buys himself treats? Either way, sorry, I'd not be very impressed.

(Easy to judge someone else's bloke, I know! Blush)

echt · 01/08/2011 20:34

YANBU.

Maybe your DH needs reminding that porridge is a cooked breakfast.

flatbread · 01/08/2011 21:05

You may be ok with cereal, but as a man, he may have a bigger appetite. MY DH really needs a BIG breakfast, although he can happily have a light dinner.

Is there any way you all can have satisfying cooked breakfast - as someone mentioned, a big pot of porridge for the family with bananas and cinnamon.

Or a warm tortilla of eggs and potatoes, where you have maybe you won't need more than 4 eggs for all of you if you use lots of potatoes. You could add bits of bacon, but it won't be more than one slice for a whole meal.

We sometimes have hot rice pudding for breakfast and it really nice and filling Blush. Or hot cheese and tomato sandwiches, or crepes - only need one egg and flour for the whole family and you just spread butter and sugar or jam. Yum!

I do feel you are a bit unreasonable to insist on cold breakfast (aren't cereals expensive?), when there are hot breakfasts alternatives that can be done cheaply. Perhaps you can draw up a list of inexpensive hot breakfasts that the whole family can share and each of you take turns in making them (including the kids), so it is not too onerous to prepare?

flatbread · 01/08/2011 21:19

To add, not sure why hot breakfasts have to be so constrained to 'traditional' foods. We sometimes have pasta for breakfast or those instant noddle packets with mushrooms and strips of egg on top. All hearty, nourishing and cheap.

eurochick · 01/08/2011 21:20

I'd be more concerned about the health issues of having bacon every day. I love it but it's a once a week treat for me at breakfast because it is salty and processed. But eggs/tomatoes/mushrooms/beans and toast would be fine every day.

He was being very unreasonable to have it when he had agreed the kids couldn't though.

Boshankles · 01/08/2011 21:35

If you join ikea you can get a breakfast for 99p.
No cooking or washing up either, you have to go to ikea though.

OrangeHat · 01/08/2011 21:42

Breakfast of grilled bacon + poached eggs + unbuttered toast is a good one. I like it anyway Grin and in an article I read once came second after porridge as top breakfast.

Most people love bacon though and the idea that one in the family tucks into the works while the others gaze mournfully over their bowl of crap"n"fruit is a tad depressing.

If one eats cooked then anyone who wants some can have some too (if they are up at the same time it is cooked). To save on dosh, cut up and fry a single rasher of bacon which will go miles when added to a big omelette to share or scrambled eggs with stuff in - you only need one rasher to get the salty baconyness to permeate and everyone feels like they have had a nice bit of bacon IYSWIM. A little goes a long way.

iscream · 01/08/2011 23:21

Oatmeal is cheap, healthy and a hot meal.

Katisha · 01/08/2011 23:40

Back to thin gruel...