to wonder how social workers can hold their heads up?

[downtothesea]

to think that our society must have lost its moral compass when the same social services which set the adoption bar so high also determine that children should be made to stay in this situation:
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2020464/Emily-Harbour-Mother-avoids-jail-leaving-baby-son-squalid-Newbury-house.html

OP, I would like to know what experience you have of Social Workers to make you so bitter?

I am raising my DGD because after my DD I am the (very) best person in the world to do it.

what mrsD said.

Here here, i agree we have this naive hope in this country that every body can be a parent just by virtue of being able to have a child which is wrong.

The courts have a reluctance to removed children from a clearly failed family, they almost do too much in my view some mother cannot cope and unless the courts are planning to have a support worker in 24 hours a day until the children are 18 then we just have to supposes waiting till a child is 10 or 11 to finally decide their parents are shit isn't really a good thing.

op could you tell us your experience of SWs you sound very bitter.

All the Sws I know do an amazing job in very stressful conditions. They don't make decisions about who can or can't adopt or what happens to children, that's down to the courts. You say that adoptions are being refused due to age of prospective adoptors. There isn't actually a cut off point I adopted at 48 years so it's pretty flexable.
As for children being given to family, SS will always place a child with family if possible because that is best for the child. I know of many amazing family carers who are doing a great job. I've also seen family members turned down because they wouldn't be able to meet the child's needs.

I think your the one who needs to hang their head in shame. Go and become a SW or foster carer there is a huge shortage of both and clearly you would be so good

HEAR HEAR Maypole1, at least spell the bollocks you spout properly

hobnobsaremyfave, oh really what experience do you have with looked after children because me thinks none.

Usually people point out spelling mistakes when they cannot challenge your argument

I think part of the problem is that when SWs/SS do an amazing job, the resulting 'success' is still a tragedy for all concerned. A child may be in care suffering from the lifelong effects of abuse and separation and this is the best outcome. It's always a fucking tragedy.

The public never hear about these 'successes'- and nor should they. However, this leaves most people's perception of SS formed by either their own or friends' involvement which is often painful and traumatic, or by media coverage of SS' failures.

OP, I too am interested in your own experiences- you sound very angry. Can you elaborate? Or perhaps you wrote the DM piece?

Of Fuck off Maypole you know NOTHING about me or my circumstances.

Oh and I reserve spelling challenges especially for ignorant twunts

maypole1 the issue lies with whether you think it is worth investing time and energy and resources in to breaking cycles of abuse or whether you wade in and remove children you deem at higher risk and offer no support.

Many abusers have been abused and we need to find ways of turning around generations of families that have grown up with skewed perceptions of what behaviour is normal and have no idea of how to love.

It is no coincidence that children leaving care have much higher levels of teen pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse, poor education and poor prospects jobwise. The only way to turn that around is with a huge amount of investment for support services which comes down to one thing... money.

Do you know what I would like to do more than anything in the world? I would like to find a huge old building and convert it into mother and baby units for teens in care as mother and baby placements are like gold dust. I would like to have on hand, midwives, health visitors, breastfeeding support workers, counsellors, budgeting advisors... the list is endless. Every county needs one. And the costs are phenomenal. So it won't happen. I would work for free if I felt I could get the funding to enable some young pregnant teens to gain the support that will enable them to break the cycles of abuse through the generations.

And that is one - JUST ONE - of the many, many areas that are lacking. Because mending people costs so much time and money. But doesn't everyone deserve to be mended?

Hobnob as I thought you know nothing about looked after children

From your bitterness you either had issues with ss or are just crazy

Again can't challenge my point but. Going off on one I think you need to stop drinking coffee so early on

In all fairness to MAYPOLE, i have been on discussion threads on this topic and i am in agreement with him. It was echoed by Martin Neary recently and Banardos when they called for the 'Government to stop trying to fix families that cannot be fixed'. This thread isn't about that subject matter and is a thread in its own right (which it had).

Child abuse is never as easily explained as you would think. In some cases it is only inflicted on one of the DC's and not all. This recent case will now promote a change in the guidelines and those that have twins may find that the HCP insist on seeing them together.
www.guardian.co.uk/.../2011/.../twin-baby-swap-parents-guilty-cruelty

There are big changes coming in CP.

www.education.gov.uk/publications/.../Cm%208062.pdf

The findings of the Monroe review into Child Protection Services is due to be discussed in September by BASW and will go towards improving the system.

Birds fly Can you re post link couldn't get a look

Maypole I think you are quoting someone other than me and i have given no indication of my personal circumstances on this thread nor do I intend doing so. Assume away.

Feckwit- that was one of my plans for when I win Euromillions

Birds fly majority of people who hold so much bitterness to ss have never worked in cp or with looked after children and usually only have experience at the other end, they think they know the issues that children face and are certain that all familes can be fixed but then again birds they don't do the job we do and have know clue.

I will find a few links. It is quite heavy reading and covers stregthening 'working together practice' and a plan to improve services werever it can be improved.

BASW wants to try to remove the bad press SS has (hahaha) so people will come forward with suspicions about neglect. Thank god that neighbour didn't post on here for advice. She would have been told anything from MYOB to contact NSPC on Monday. I started posting to try to remove some of the negative perceptions that people have.

Add message | Report | Message poster hobnobsaremyfave Sun 31-Jul-11 13:55:24
HEAR HEAR Maypole1, at least spell the bollocks you spout properly

So it wasn't you who wrote this then when before this post I made no mention of you or about any of your posts to be honest your seem to be looking for a fight your just being rude and argessive are not challenging arguments just being a bit of a arse which leads me to believe you don't work in cp or looked after children and only know what you read in the daily mail

Like I said Maypole assume away

When there have been posts by MN's about how they think they have been treated heavy handledly by SS, i try to explain why.

Very often they will say "well why didn't they just..." and i can honestly name a dead child as to why that doesn't always work and the system has got to be the way it has, but the public have a hard time accepting that.

Some people need support and go on to be excellent parents and the world a better place because we have all learned something. Unfortunately some people cannot and should not be in charge of DC's.

www.education.gov.uk/munroreview

To all those who believe sw are not safeguarding children have you ever considered rather than moaning about those who are actually trying to make a difference to childrens lives do the training yourselves - then you can show sw how the job should actually be done!!

No, no its just easier to read the Daily Mail from the comfort of your living room and attack those that are trying to make a difference.

SW work with a legislative framework, with policies and procedures that must be adhere to. Its a thankless job, working with very aggressive and damaged people. Still there are clearly people around for whom that would not be a problem, so please go ahead, show us how its done.

Don't get the bit about police where called when the children were left with a 15 year old girl while the mum went to a party...er, that's ok, isn't it?