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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To partially blame Amy Winehouse's ex husband for her demise?

44 replies

toptramp · 27/07/2011 22:24

Sorry for another Winehouse thread. I just can't believe that such a beautiful talented woman would go for such a looser. What did he do exactly? Ok; he didn't hold a gun to her head and force her to do drugs but as her painful songs were inspired by him aibu to wish that Amy knew about abusive relationships and got the hell out?

OP posts:

Original poster

toptramp · 27/07/2011 22:25

And when I mean what did he do i mean; was he talented? Did he even have a job? Because the programme I saw about her last night made him out to be a bit of a vagrant.

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/07/2011 22:27

I'm sorry that she's gone too but I don't see how you can blame another person for her death. She had choices and she was surrounded by people who were leeches but also people who were looking out for her. She had more ready access to help than non-celebrities and had the money to finance it. At the end of it all, the wish to get clean/dry has to be backed up by action and you can't buy that. I dislike the scapegoating very much.

IRCL · 27/07/2011 22:30

YANBU, you are not the only person to think that. I do as well.

I watched a programme on ch4 about her last night and it seemed as though they were both obsessed with each other.

It´s a shame.

Trifle · 27/07/2011 22:32

Oh for gods sake. It's not as if she was a paragon if virtue before he came on the scene. I mean Pete Doherty was hardly sweetness and light either. People have to take responsibility for their own actions. If she wanted to get clean she had ample opportunities available to her.

Hassled · 27/07/2011 22:33

I have an In Concert DVD thing and she's constantly looking up to see where Blake Whatsit is. It's all aimed at him. And he seemed like such a fuckwit - baffling.

But to blame him is probably harsh. He may have helped her along the way/enabled her, but he's been off the scene for a while now, hasn't he?

bubblesincoffee · 27/07/2011 22:33

I agree that she had choices, and if her death as down to drugs, then that is her responsibility.

As LWITW said, she had people around her that wanted to help her, and she had the money to finance a better life for herself.

She chose not to do that. Maybe because addiction is an illness, maybe because she just didn't want to. Either way, she was responsible for managing her addiction herself.

Hassled · 27/07/2011 22:34

"If she wanted to get clean she had ample opportunities available to her."

Trifle - that's really not how addiction works. You are being so simplistic.

duckdodgers · 27/07/2011 22:35

Its always someone elses fault for some people isnt it, never mind personal responsibility at all eh.

TanyaBranning · 27/07/2011 22:35

She was a drinker and a big time weed smoker before she met him, but he definitely introduced her to class A drugs, so I suppose you could blame him for that. He is certainly a horrid, fucked up little squirt. I don't know if you can lay the blame for her death at anyone's door, though.

FreudianSlipper · 27/07/2011 22:36

he may have introduced her to drugs but listen to her first album and her first interviews. her addiction was to love, to sex, to alcohol and to drugs you can not blame him he seems totally lost too

forehead · 27/07/2011 22:38

Yabvvu. He's an asshole, but she was an adult fgs and to blame him is wrong. I fear that he could end up killing himself if people continue to accuse him of being responsible for her death.

Thingumy · 27/07/2011 22:39

'Vagrant' or not, as a adult it was her choice.

I do feel that she had a addictive personality and that she was looking for similar types.She would of found another Blake type around that time imo.

minxofmancunia · 27/07/2011 22:41

Oh FFS not another load of small minded daily mail mentality moronic bulls**t about Amy Winehouse and "ra ra ra she had choices and opportunities" rant rant etc.etc.

She was really really ill!! She was unwell, she didn't have "choices", broaden your mind, have some compassion, she didn't "bring it on herself" . The reasons she struggled were complex, deep, manifold, intertwined, it's likely we'll never really know why she was the way she was. These kind of numpty viewpoints are exactly the reason addiction and mental illness are so stigmatised and marginalised in this country.

HeatherSmall · 27/07/2011 22:42

They blamed Courney Love for Kurt Cobains death, but she's still here and clean ish so maybe there was no truth in that either.

Thingumy · 27/07/2011 22:45

courntey love clean?

wow

ajaybaines · 27/07/2011 22:46

FGS THE AUTOPSY WAS INCONCLUSIVE - NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA WHY SHE DIED.

Why are people speculating? Yes, she had drug and alcohol problems but for all we know she could have died of an aneurysm or heart defect or just one of those things that take people in the blink of an eye.

NO ONE KNOWS WHY AMY WINEHOUSE DIED - stop speculating and knitting at the gallows, PLEASE.

cheesesarnie · 27/07/2011 22:46

what minx said!(said very well btw minx)

she was ill.why do we always need to lay blame with someone?

duckdodgers · 27/07/2011 22:47

Thingumy is right - some women seem to attract and be attracted to a certain type of man, if it wasnt him it would have been someone similar.

duckdodgers · 27/07/2011 22:48

minxofmancunia - who said she brought it on herself here in this thread?

nancy75 · 27/07/2011 22:49

What an odd thread, unless you personally know these people how or why are you blaming anyone?
I doubt that you have the facts to blame anyone.

redexpat · 27/07/2011 22:51

What minx and cheesesarnie said.

IRCL · 27/07/2011 22:52

Yes she was an adult and ultimately it was her actions, however I do think he influenced her.

On that programme last night it was reported that Blake used to sit in their flat and hand her all different drugs to try, however true that is I don´t know but I am inclined to believe it.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 27/07/2011 22:53

MNHQ please for the love of God can we have a winehouse topic and lump all this nonsense and adoration into one place that can be hidden. Every time I hide one, another one pops up to take its place. Come back bf/ff bunfight, all is forgiven.

Thingumy · 27/07/2011 22:58

He's admitted that he influenced her.

But what in reality, could anyone do?

snippywoo2 · 27/07/2011 23:00

On that programme last night it was reported that Blake used to sit in their flat and hand her all different drugs to try, however true that is I don´t know but I am inclined to believe it.

She could have said no

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