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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To partially blame Amy Winehouse's ex husband for her demise?

44 replies

toptramp · 27/07/2011 22:24

Sorry for another Winehouse thread. I just can't believe that such a beautiful talented woman would go for such a looser. What did he do exactly? Ok; he didn't hold a gun to her head and force her to do drugs but as her painful songs were inspired by him aibu to wish that Amy knew about abusive relationships and got the hell out?

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/07/2011 23:00

Gwendoline... with respect, you can hide it or not open it... really. I'd rather read about Amy Winehouse than bf/ff, which are now permanently on my 'hide' list.

2shoes · 27/07/2011 23:02

GwendolineMaryLacey talks sense

tethersend · 27/07/2011 23:03

What nancy said. None of us are really in a position to blame anyone; nobody owes us an explanation.

IRCL · 27/07/2011 23:03

I know she could of said no, I am just saying that I do believe he was an influence.

We are all responsible for our own actions however I don?t think he helped matters.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 27/07/2011 23:03

Yes done all that, hidden them all. But there comes a point when you just have to scream enough! Debate is one thing but the hero worship and being jumped on for daring to say anything vaguely less than positive is a little wearing.

IRCL · 27/07/2011 23:05

Ah shit I didn?t know he admitted to influencing her. Blush

Mortal · 29/07/2011 19:47

I shudder at AW's story, because that could so easily have been me. I look at pictures of her emaciated body a couple of years ago and I know I looked like that once, I had a diet of cigarettes, weed and alcohol and was in a destructive relationship with an unattainable "man" who introduced me to cocaine. Had I just been that little bit more weak willed, that could have been me, minus the amazing talent though. I was hell bent on destroying myself. I don't even know what stopped me. I do know we were as messed up as each other though. It's a scary thought.

NittyGrittyMums · 31/07/2011 15:21

'Tooth Marks in the Wood, is a tribute to Amy and to fathers and daughters the world over. Written by rock musician and dad Serge Bielanko, one of the most talented writers I have had the good fortune to befriend.

In the words of my friend Paul.... 'Everything. All at once. For me this has to be the best thing that anyone has ever written, or will ever write, about that Winehouse girl. And maybe about life in general.'

thegirlwho.squarespace.com/thunder-pie/2011/7/26/tooth-marks-in-the-wood.html

NittyGrittyMums · 31/07/2011 15:23

You'll find out why, in the very last sentence, Serge has named it Tooth Marks in the Wood.

dolldaggabuzzbuzz · 31/07/2011 15:25

If he is to blame for her death then he should be credited for the wonderful music he inspired Amy to create.

mayorquimby · 31/07/2011 15:25

No wouldn't blame him at all. I think he's a prat of the highest order but what is clear is that the two of them were fucked up individuals with a lot of problems. Unfortunately people like that are quite often drawn to each other. So whatever blame you want to apportion to him for her problems it is probably just as true in reverse. They would have been dragging each other down.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 31/07/2011 16:03

I have no doubt that wise counsel was available to Amy Winehouse but, for whatever reasons, she chose not to act on advice that may have prevented her early demise.

The unvarnished truth is that a talented woman died at the tragically young age of 27. Now that she is dead and cannot be brought back to life, there would seem to be little point in attempting to apportion blame for her death or demonising others for her choices.

Unfortunately, this is unlikely to deter the tabloids from creating exposing salacious gossip about her life and her death and dressing it up as 'why Amy didn't need to die' or some such nonsense

maypole1 · 31/07/2011 16:15

One addict married to another to be honest how could he of helped her he was so deep in his own drug use.

Shutupanddrive · 31/07/2011 16:39

Did you know him/her? If not yabu, how can you blame him. You don't know what went on apart from what you have read in the papers Hmm

BlimminEck · 31/07/2011 17:36

no one forced her to binge on drink and drugs, she chose to say yes

end of story

her dad says she was strong willed and spirited - well obviously not that strong willed to say no to stuffing herself full of chemicals that she knew were harmful eh

JarethTheGoblinKing · 31/07/2011 17:38
Hmm

YABU

Hammy02 · 31/07/2011 18:33

I think it is very dangerous to blame anyone but herself for her drug & alcohol addictions. There are often threads on here about DP's/DH's that drink too much. Should a portion of the blame lie with their partners? I didn't think so.

jeckadeck · 31/07/2011 20:26

Technically I think he got her into hard drugs but she must have known that he was a user of hard drugs, if not an actual addict, when she started seeing him. She went into it with her eyes open. Also she was clearly an alcoholic before she got back together with him and had seriously addictive tendencies.

Mortal · 01/08/2011 17:06

...sorry correction on my last post, not weak willed...lost, if I was more lost I could have ended up like her...not weak willed at all.

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