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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To judge potential childminders on things like accents?

61 replies

WhoahThere · 26/07/2011 16:47

Looking for a childminder and finding it hard to envisage leaving dd at all (but know I have to work for my sanity).

Today's visit was lovely, great set up, lovely CM with a very strong regional accent. I don't have an accent to speak of and am pretty anal about speaking properly, grammar, etc. DH has an accent but not from this area. I'm imagining i'll get flamed for being a snob but does anyone think this should be a factor in making a decision?

And as a slight side 'issue' she used a really high baby voice when speaking to dd which would do my head in - dd didn't seem to mind though!

So AIBU?

OP posts:

catgirl1976 · 26/07/2011 17:05

YABU on the accent but the high pitched baby voice thing would annoy me. But then I get itchy when I hear someone telling a child a dog is a "doggy" etc, so maybe that's just me.

suburbophobe · 26/07/2011 17:05

I think you should go with your feelings and instinct, not by the opinions of anonymous people on the internet!

SpottyFrock · 26/07/2011 17:06

Are you sure you're as clever as you think you are if you don't know the difference between accent and grammar. A regional accent (which we all have Inc my children who are growing up in quite a refined part of Sussex having been born in Surrey) does not mean the person is illiterate or uneducated. Really poor grammar would be an issue for me but not the odd regional colloquialism and certainly not an accent. I find people's aversion to accents bizarre!

Oh and with regards a cm, I think my main concern would be how that person interacted with and stimulated my child and of course, whether I was sure my child would be safe in their care.

marriedinwhite · 26/07/2011 17:06

YANBU but you are, from lack of experience, being U. When my DS was a baby I would have steered clear of the indigenous Sarf London ladies for the same reasons you are concerned about and indeed sent him to a nice posh day nursery. He picked up every infection going and after 6 months I threw in the towel. Taking him around and about to mother and toddler groups and one o'clock clubs I found out that the very best and most caring and reliable childminders were the very Sarf London ladies I would have baulked at a year previously. They were also the most flexible and sensible - much much better than the 24/25 year old nannies and 18/19 year old au-pairs who were forever on their mobiles when mum wasn't around.

doesntfitin · 26/07/2011 17:06

I'm sure theres lots more to come

LineRunner · 26/07/2011 17:06

WhoahThere, bless 'ee, ma'm, thee's reet tha knows.

Esta3GG · 26/07/2011 17:06

I don't have an accent to speak of

Hilarious. Yes you DO have an accent - we all do - it all depends on who is doing the listening.
To judge someone on their accent rather than their ability to do a job is stupid.

Ephiny · 26/07/2011 17:08

YABU to reject an otherwise lovely CM for this reason.

The high-pitched baby voice thing would irritate me too (and did even when I was a little kid!), but as long as your DD likes her, that's what matters - after all it's not you that's going to be spending all day with her!

How on earth can you not have an accent? Surely everyone has an accent, unless they never speak? .

DandyLioness · 26/07/2011 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LineRunner · 26/07/2011 17:09

The OP has relented in a most charming MN way, by referring to herself as 'a bit of a twat'. Respect, OP.

Original poster

WhoahThere · 26/07/2011 17:13

SpottyFrock the mention of grammar was more to give a background on the things that I am anal about, I am aware of the difference between accent and grammar.

marriedinwhite you win the prize for the most useful and sympathetic answer - thank you.

And I concede that yes, of course I have an accent - I should have said I don't have a strong accent.

OP posts:

GandTiceandaslice · 26/07/2011 17:15

Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaa!
These threads are the reason I come on MN!
I presume this is a wind up!
If not, OP, you are being VV unreasonable.

Original poster

WhoahThere · 26/07/2011 17:15

Thanks LineRunner! :)

OP posts:

IslaValargeone · 26/07/2011 17:18

I second LineRunner's respect to the Op post.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 26/07/2011 17:20

My DS's childminder was a lovely woman but had a voice like a bag of spanners. One day as we left the house DS (3 yo) held out a palm, looked skyward and declared miserably.. 'Oh gawd! It's blardy rainin'....!'

LynetteScavo · 26/07/2011 17:21

A regional accent wouldn't bother me -aslong as I could understand them!.

Constant dropping of h's, tt's and a saying a load of "innit's" would.

SpottyFrock · 26/07/2011 17:29

Or saying haitch for the letter h. That's one that grinds on me. Yet it's most commonly found in the home counties.

SpottyFrock · 26/07/2011 17:31

And yes, I'm sure you do know the difference but your op read as if you had an issue with accent not grammar which I didn't understand as that seems illogical to me.

LineRunner · 26/07/2011 17:35

OP, I agree with Lynette.

Also, try not to say twat in front of the childminder.

NorfolkBroad · 26/07/2011 17:47

At least you are being honest WhoeThere! I like accents and I speak in a high voice to babies and I promise I am very caring and good with babies!! It is a bit strange though when your child comes back to you speaking a bit differently. My dd comes home from school with that rising inflection thing that Australian people do. For some reason it drives me up the wall!

MrsCog · 26/07/2011 17:51

YABU if it's just about regional accent but with sentences correctly formed etc. but I have to admit that in a perfect world I wouldn't want my DC in their formative years to be hearing incorrect use of english such as 'ain't got none', 'can I lend your ruler?', etc - but this has nothing to do with regional accent.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 26/07/2011 17:57

I live in a London borough which has a small but very affluent area in the middle.

Despite there being very little mixing of the classes in other matters, somehow the CM in my area are v.popular.

I would like to think it was because the parents wanted their children to experience diversity and not because the CM charge two quid less an hour than the ones in the 'village'.

There is a great deal of 'overlooking' accents.

UpsyDozy · 26/07/2011 18:09

I have to say, I have recently found this to be a slight issue for me too. My nanny has a VERY strong regional accent. When trying to do any reading with my DD I have found that DD is getting confused because she is learning the alphabet phonetically "O is for Orange" big round mouth etc. Our nanny says "U is for Urange" because of her accent and DD has been confused by this, particularly when working on spellings, vowel sounds in particular.

That being said our nanny is completely bloody marvellous and I wouldn't change her for anything, I love her accent so I'm assuming DD will adapt and we'll all work through it together. DH has a strong accent too and is utterly shite at reading with the kids so God knows what accents they'll settle on in the end!

CupcakesandTwunting · 26/07/2011 18:12

YANBU I can't believe you are getting slated on here.

Everyone knows that only people with RP can correctly assist in raising children. Take this one on and your DD will be licking her food off her knife and shitting on the dinner table in no time.

grovel · 26/07/2011 18:19

Quite right, Cupcake.

Incidentally the best childminders went to Heathfield, Benenden or Cheltenham Ladies College.

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