Terrible Parenting

[AwfulDreadfulMummy]

I am a TERRIBLE parent because....

DS (almost 7 months) rolled off the futon. He can now, I assume, roll more than once in a row....he SCREAMED his head off for 5 minutes while I panicked and cried, but is absoltuely fine now. Still tempted to take him to A&E for a CT scan though...

I also feed DS mostly jars, because they're easy and he gets a MUCH greater range of tastes than I'd cook. Mostly Organix ones though...and occasional Ella's Kitchen ....

I use dummies (well, he does...obviously).

I HATED all the Mother and Baby massage / tea / signing group things so don't go anymore. He does see lots of other babies with friends though....

AIBU to ask what you do that makes you a 'terrible Mummy' to make me us all feel a bit better?

My 10 year old DD has a bruise from falling out of her double bed. She says it's her sisters fault far waking her in the middle of a dream. It isn't, she just periodically falls out of bed, her sisters bunk and trees.

DD (9) had a dummy until she was 7 and has beautiful teeth.

I also gave mine Hipp organic jars a lot of the time because it was all they'd eat.

DD fell off a full height single bed head first when she was 11 months, screamed and was then fine.

Sometimes, when I tell them off, they tell me they want to go to the children's home (they watch too much Tracey Beaker and think it's all wonderful).

Chill - you're doing fine.

Oh and once, when DH was on op tour and me and DD (12 months) had been throwing up all night, I decided that, having forced down a handful of Cheerios, I had to drive 50 miles to my mum's or I could die and nobody would know!

So I took DD in the car and having driven 16 miles, looked in the mirror to realise I hadn't put dd's straps on in her car seat!!! How traumatic was that!!!!! So I pulled in to a Little Chef and burst into tears, threw up by the hedge and then strapped her in and drove off.

child falls off bed before i knew he could roll - check
child dropped on head (by DH, i hasten to add) - check
child fed Hipp organic jars - check
child has dummy until he is 3 - check
child yelled at innumerable times by knackered mummy - check
child has regular "arnica moments" - check

child is a happy, confident, loving, sweet, funny, smart and apparently psychologically unharmed (so far) 5 year old - check.

OP, you have NOTHING to worry about. Falling off things is a total rite of passage for everyone!! just wait till they start on stairs! they are a lot more resilient than you would ever credit, otherwise the human race would have died out a loooong time ago!!

We've still not put up the stairgates.... Where's my drill ....

Don't ever feel bad about feeding food from a jar. Having neurotically run myself ragged cooking all DDs meals from scratch (never judged anyone else for shop bought food, I'm just a bit of an idiot and my own worst enemy), I've now tried giving her a few shop bought meals to get her used to them for when we go on holiday and she won't eat them so I've massively shot myself in the foot and she's going to starve on holiday (another thing for me to have a neurotic stress over!). Any future children will be having shop bought stuff from the beginning and I'm going to stop being such a bloody martyr. (Not saying all home cookers are martyrs, I'm sure plenty manage it without making the entire household suffer for it, but I certainly didn't).

When putting DD up on my shoulder to burp her at about 4 weeks completely forgot about the broken reading light hanging off the wall behind me and clonked her head really hard, she screamed for ages but it doesn't appear to have done any lasting damage.

Spent a couple of weeks being really annoyed with her for throwing temper tantrums before realizing her acid reflux medicine had stopped working and the poor little mite was screaming in pain again. Felt really bad about that one.

Also, it's not called a dummy it's called the off switch and it's the only thing that's keeping me sane.

I got so frustrated with my daughter once that I sat her on the doorstep and told her she had to wait for someone from the children's home to pick her up. She opened the letter box and asked if she could come home if she promised to be good. God I'm such a terrible mother.

ROFL! My mum always told me she was running off to barbados to live with a black man, don't worry :)

Hahahaha at these

My list of crimes

We had friends over one night and I thought I had cleared up all the glasses, however one guest had left his vodka and lemonade at side of chair on floor, and I hadn't noticed........DD1 who was 3, drank it in morning, and was slightly pissed.I only noticed when the breakfast weetabix didn't quite make her mouth. Cue me phoning doctors blah blah and was expecting SS at my door. Need less to say she is absolutely fine,she is 22 and has her own baby and still likes vodka

I have threatened all 3 kids with Rosie's home (orphanage)

I have screamed at them more times than I care to remember. They nearly all had dummies, all had jars at some point, especially pureed apple,cos I did lovingly peel and stew my own at one time, what a bloody waste of time!

One used to like eating dog biscuits (this is the 22 year old)

All of them had their own seat in A and E at one point, one fell over a dog,one swallowed a 5p piece,numerous cuts and bruises.

I hasten to add my kids are 22,19 and 12, and despite my terrible parenting, they turned out okay :)

I am a gran and my 22 year old was babysitting my 12 year old.My 12 year old accidently let my 6 month old grandson roll off her knee. Everyone was very upset, and I think my oldest thought I was an unsympathetic cow when I said, " Oh I know how awful it is the first time it happens ":o Baby was in better state than his mum and auntie :o

Thank you, thank you for this thread. It has made me laugh and cry with relief.

I am a new Mum to a now 22 month old who has been with us 4 months. The last 2 days have been hell on earth as his behaviour has been pretty extreme and last night i was so pissed off i was ready to jack the whole thing in and admit defeat (not really, but i was at my wits end!).
I felt like the worlds crappest Mum for losing my patience and shouting at him and not dealing with things in the best way.
Sometimes in the heat of it all i lose perspective and I assume everyone else is perfect and it's just me that doesn't get it right.

OP, you know nothing of guilt and embarassment until you have carried a 3yo (in fireman's lift, since she is too big and wriggly to carry any other way) through a crowded shopping centre, with her screaming repeatedly at the top of her voice "put me down - I hate you"

(in my defence, I had already spent 40mins waiting out the tantrum, which started about what colour of swimming hat she wanted, and was out of time)

DS was said by his nursery to have set the record for the number of head injury forms filled in for one child. That made me feel so much better about his "hit the world with your head and see how hard it is" approach to life at home.

Laughing almost too much to type!
When one of my kids says 'mummy, mummy DS3 has hurt himself' I just roll my eyes and ask if he's bleeding - seem to vaguely remember a time in the long distant past when I used to go running to them 'are you alright? Mummy will kiss it better!'
Spent a whole night being very angry with DS1 for not going to sleep for no reason the whole night - then in the morning saw that he'd cut a new tooth - still feel guilty :(

Still laughing at WobblyHalo Tue 26-Jul-11 13:53:46 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wouldn't worry about the jars. When my DD was born, ex & I used to buy ready meals and blend them up and feed them to her. We thought they'd be more tasty! We'd no clue about extra salt...additives etc.

DD also rolled off the bed once and landed on her head on a wooden floor too.

She's a teenager now and despite how crap her parents initially were, she's doing well at school and impeccably behaved for a 14yr old.

Don't sweat it.

This thread reminds me of a saying I heard somewhere, can't remember where:

"The first child is made of glass. The second is made of rubber"

So true! You are terrified of everything for the first and on first name terms with the midnight doctor. The second, unless his arm had dropped off we didn't really bother!

I'm ashamed to say that I told my toddler to stay in her bed as she'd be safe from the monsters underneath it.

She is and always has been a terrible sleeper and it regularly takes 2 plus hours to get her to go to sleep at night (despite dropping daytime nap, she is clearly exhausted). Since she moved from a cot into a bed she WILL NOT stay in the bed until she falls asleep after the 100th time of us coming upstairs to her. I'm trying to run my own business by working in the evenings and feel so frustrated and fed up with her sometimes, especially after a day of full-time childcare on my own. This night I was at the end of my tether, and thought 'if she does believe there are monsters under her bed she'll at least stay in it and go to sleep'.

After I said this to her she cried and was more unsettled all night than ever. I feel so guilty. She didn't say that what I'd said about monsters was upsetting her, but it probably was. (Although I'm not sure if she knows what a monster is or not). She is 2.5. I hope she forgets it.

Other guilt - I didn't admit to DH what I had told her, when he wondered why she was so upset.

Guilt guilt guilt.

lol @ niceguy, and very true

I was friends with a mum who when she got to no 3 child stated when I asked her if it was okay to give her DC3 a biscuit said

"She is a 3rd child,she can have what she likes!"
:o

Guilt guilt guilt

Hell yes. The amount of things I feel guilty about! lol

Guilt comes as part of the territory. For me, if a parent doesn't feel guilty and crap then that's the time to worry and perhaps involve social services!

my 3 year old DD fell of the bottom bunk of a bunk bed onto a concrete floor in a shop and knocked herself out while i was suppervising her twin! Que CT scan and overnight stay in hospital but the really embarrassing thing is that she was looked after on the ward i work on so there was no keeping it a secret

i also fed DD's almost exclusively on jars, they had dummies and are allowed to eat chocolate

they are now completely normal nearly 5 year olds and i am sane, which i would not of been if i had been up all night pureeing!

DS is properly afraid of haircuts due to SN / sensory issues.

We took him swimming at a new sports village which he loved so much that it took DH and I thirty minutes to get him out of the pool and then there was a howling tirade as we tried to get him dried and dressed while attempting to stop him running straight back in. Eventually we exited the changing rooms. We were all really fed up but DS wanted to bugger about and go upstairs to explore. The fitness suite is up there

He is only four so when I said, "Oh look Daddy they do haircuts up there - DS do you want a haircut?", he shrieked and jumped off the stairs as if they were hot coals, all the way back to the car.

I felt a bit mean about that but it was so effective that I will probably use the same strategy again

Im a terrible parent- my dd finally crawled out of her pit at 11.30 am.
Told her to go and get herself breakfast and she came back with a Pot Noodle! (Currently on offer for 50p in Asda for all you healthy eating lovers!)

And the terrible parent I am just laughed!!
I then reminded her that theres a pasty in the fridge that needs using up nad she said "I'll have that in 5 mins once this has gone down"

My son aged two climbed over the stairgate and went arse over tit all the way down the stairs.

DD had a dummy from 3 days old until 8 months (during the day) and we only just got rid of it at night a few weeks ago - DD is nearly 3.5

She fell off the sofa twice once when she was around 6-7 months old as I was engrossed with something on TV important stuff.

I fed her jars ALOT

I have elbowed, hit, stood and tripped over her numerous times. To be fair she is like a ninja and I don't know she's behind me until my hand hits her face or I've stepped backwards onto her foot! lol

Did I tell you about my 3 year old,climbing over her stairgate,opening the front door (with a key), and wandering the streets in her PJ's,getting brought back by the police and DH nearly getting arrested for child neglect. :)

I am sure I win top trumps bad mummy for that one ;) One for her wedding methinks